I am honestly baffled by some of these arguments - that I must be lazy, that I am wasting my brain, that I am setting a bad example to my child and that I could not possibly be as busy as anybody who WOH.
Yesterday, I looked after my non-napping toddler from 6.30 am to 7pm. Once she was in bed, I logged on and did pro bono human rights legal research until midnight. I quite often do this - I'm not paid for it, but I volunteer the equivalent of 2 days/week for a well known NGO. It feels bloody busy to me - there's definitely no going to the gym or meeting friends for lunch, as has been implied here. Some of the sweeping statements on here are astonishing. How can any of us possibly know how busy or lazy somebody else is? Surely everyone's circumstances are unique?
Also a bit surprised by those claiming some sort of morally superior status because they WOH. I mean, if you're a paediatric oncologist, then fair enough, but most of us aren't. When I was a City lawyer, we did some really morally questionable deals - things that were terrible for the environment or for the people who would use the services at the end of the deal, etc. I did it and I'm sure to the outside world it looked like a successful job that had status but I can't in all honesty say I was proud of the substance of my work. I'd be quite embarrassed to tell DD now what it was that I was actually working on then. By contrast, I'm quite proud to tell her what I work on now, and I get to use my brain and my professional skills. Those of us staying at home aren't imbeciles. We're perfectly intelligent women who often just had to make difficult choices in difficult situations, and indeed, many of us have found a way to use our brains and do something to set a reasonable example to our kids. We're not another species. The irony is that if I were to tell my lawyer friends that I was doing human rights law for two days a week, many of them would think that was great - interesting work and a great balance between work and family. It's bonkers that because I am happy to do it late at night without being paid for it, it goes from being a desirable occupation to something which according to this thread, is a bad example to my child.
Finally, I'm going to be absolutely honest here, and I apologise in advance to the many perfectly reasonable posters who have not lectured SAHMs on this thread but who have on the contrary, been very sensible. With the greatest of respect, I really do struggle when I am lectured about my SAHM status by someone who, it then turns out, works, or has at some point in their career worked, PT, or who then goes on to say that they were able to go and pick their kids up from school every day. Well, of course if I had been offered the chance to WOH 3 or 4 days a week rather than 6, or to finish in time to do the school run, I'd still be bloody working - lots of us would, wouldn't we? That option wasn't on the table. We all just have to do the best we can with the choices we have at the time. I''m genuinely happy for you that you had your flexible working request approved, but honestly, it doesn't mean that you are somehow a better person then those of us whose requests were turned down. As I say, I fully appreciate that many of the posters on this thread have been perfectly reasonable and have said nothing of the sort.