To ask what you miss most about pre-baby life?

[missb00]

Just that really. We are thinking about starting a family but want to know what you miss most about pre-parenthood??

Sleep.

Eating slowly.

Finishing sentences.

Going to the toilet alone.

Lying on a beach, on a sunbed.
Reading a book.
Doing both at the same time!

Not having to answer a million questions about everything. Then repeat and explain my answer over and over again. Being able to sit down on my own. Without my two mountain goat DS' climbing on me.

Sleep, being able to read all day if I want to, money, personal space,

Not having a clue who mr tumble is

I'll list the stuff I miss.

Sleep, sex, my body (my post baby tummy is just horrible, and I wish I didn't care but I do), lie ins, lazy brunches, Sundays out wandering with DP, DP in general as I hardly ever get time alone with him now. Reading, writing, not having to plan my life around naps and bedtime (my DS won't sleep in the sling, car or buggy), taking my time cooking at the weekend, baking, watching crap TV uninterrupted, lying on my bed drinking tea and reading my cookbooks, money to spend on myself, dinners and drinks out...I could go on and on.

But I tell you mostly what I've struggled with is the sheer weariness of complete responsibility for another person 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Some of the stuff I've listed above will probably improve as DS gets older but that responsibility won't ever lift. I'm an anxious person and having a child had introduced yet more anxiety - is he ok, will something bad happen to him etc etc

I adore my son. I love his little sounds and his little cuddles and the thought of something happening to him makes me feel...I can't even describe it it's so awful. But to claim all that makes up for everything I've lost isn't quite a true statement for me.

I don't want another child for this reason.

A social life.
My problem there is that I don't have any mum friends and my non-mum friends never fancy doing anything that would allow me to bring a small child.
I struggle to make friends with other mum's due to time spent in work and where I live (I don't drive and public transport is a bit crap round here), so majority of the time I'm either in work, which can sometimes be a nice break, or with DS and nobody else.

Oh and having some semblance of order in my home. We are in a small first floor gardenless flat which is carpeted (has to be as first floor) and god the mess when he eats, even with a protective mat

Lie ins, money and time with DH. However we are having a blast with DS and will have decades of not having him at home when we are older so it's all worth it :)

I think probably some of it comes down to personality (yours that is). I'm hugely introverted so being with another human being all the time is very hard for me.

Being able to do what I want without having to take into account everyone else's wants and needs.

Thanks everyone. I've always thought that the money and holidays would be the main thing i'd miss, but from reading these I think thats fairly trivial. I adore spending time alone with dh, even just sitting in front of the tv together with a tub of ice cream watching crap, I think that'd be what i'd miss most.

Being able to pop to the shops without getting a baby dressed and in a pram. Even worse now he's a toddler

Oh and being able to eat in peace

I have two dd is 15 and apart from occasionally being a teenager quite frankly wonderful. I spent this morning watching Ds 10 playing brilliant rugby. We can now go out when we want a a twosome as dd is around if we plan a little. It is sometimes hard but they have enriched our lives in so many ways.
They are now interested in our lives and what we are up to. It was hard but each stage has something great about it....
I occasionally think we'd be really well off if we hadn't had them but dd has promised to be a famous actor...

Lie ins and time alone with my dp. Don't get either.

Yes daft things like just nipping out to a coffee shop without having to really think about it - I really miss that.

I mean I can do that with toddler ds but it's more hassle than it's worth

Tip... Always makes sure you have an evening. Make sure bed time is bed time.

I agree. We HAVE an evening - ds goes to bed at 6 and sleeps through til 6 - and it does help massively.

Sleep
Going out in the evening.

Also this is going to sound ridiculous but being healthy. Pre ds I was never ill. Now because he catches everything so do I. This past year has been one endless cycle of colds, coughs, tummy bugs.

I feel quite lucky because now mine are 5 and 3 I don't miss anything terribly. I don't yern for my old life. But I do still miss lie-ins and lazy Sundays.

I'm also someone who has to do literally everything with kids in tow on my days off but I'm used to it, we're like a little team and it works out ok. Overall life is so much better with them in it.

being able to genuinely 'pop' into a shop rather than it taking you three times as long to get in and out as you are in there

Sleep
Spontaneous sex
Freedom
Doing a wee without an audience
Things staying tidy for more than 10 minutes after I have tidied them
Drunken shenanigans and undisturbed hangovers
Never having to deal with other people's poo
Never having to watch cbeebies
Not having to cook proper nutritious meals when I just cba

Time to myself

Disposable income (£1500 less a month household disposable income between childcare and other child related expenses)

Not having to put someone else first

Decent holidays

Energy. Even when i have free time, my head space is almost completely used up from dc, work and home, and I only seem to read and watch unchallenging things that don't require concentration

My patience. It ran out ages ago and I can't remember being this irritable pre dc.

That's all really. I'm lucky I'm not too bad with lack of sleep. Dc are 3 and 5 and they sleep ok most of the time now.

Buying nice things on payday and spontaneous nights out!