To ask what you miss most about pre-baby life?

[missb00]

Just that really. We are thinking about starting a family but want to know what you miss most about pre-parenthood??

I do wonder what the hell I did with all my time before though lol

Your posts have made me feel sad for you niangua - don't let the bastards grind you down! Could you do an online course and out some good books on a Kindle? I can really relate to the feeling of your brain dying off in the midst of the Duplo (although I have got massively back into Lego with DD who is 4 - but I teach Economics the rest of the week so get to use my brain then).
Have just discussed this thread with DH. He misses sleep and cycling. I miss not getting up at 6am in non work days and only having to get kids to do things they don't want to 8am to 4pm instead of (it feels like) 24/7!

I actually like crafting, slow walks, eating lunch very early etc so motherhood hasn't been too bad. But I only do it a couple of days a week except holidays, which helps massively.

Nothing. My life has changed, but for the better. I was in a very bad place, drinking, taking drugs, not turning up for work, not caring about anyone. I'm the healthiest and happiest I've ever been. We're lucky to have a close circle of friends and family so we can go out and our holidays are more fun I wouldn't change a thing.

Nothing.

Well maybe the money I had

I wouldn't change my life now for anything in the world (well, apart from the lack of money). Some days are really, really hard and those are the days that I question my choices and wonder what I've done with my life. Most days are good though and I generally enjoy being a parent.

Sleep I miss being able to go to sleep when I like and get up as I please.

Leaving the house. This causes the most stress as you can't just walk out the door! You need to take 10,000 things with you aswell as a child who probably doesnt want to go where your going.

Worry constant worry about everything. Planning everything around there feeds, naps etc. Then when they hit school your even more limited got to be there at 9am and then again at 3pm. Seeing the same parents day in day out wanting to tear your hair out because you hate the school run.

Spending endless hours waiting around for them

Not being able to go to the shop alone everything has to be planned.
The tantrums when you arrive at the shop because you want to shop and not buy them sweets, or look at random crap.

Being able to eat! Feeding another before feeding yourself. Hiding food away because you haven't ate and feeling like a binge eater hiding the evidence.

Working before I could do any hours work at night etc. Now I'm stuck in a job I don't really like but fits in well around school hours then feeling guilty for working and leaving my child with a childminder.

Having an identity now I'm just a parent.. and finally comparing yourself to others which I seem to do more of..

I don't really miss anything now. Sure it's restrictive when they are really little (we have no local family so no extra help) but now that DS is 8 I can take him along anywhere I need to go. He has sat through haircuts, smear tests, fillings, etc when I need him to, and is excellent company on more fun outings. I think dh and I have more fun with him than we would on our own most of the time. Possibly it's different with more than one child though - I don't know because we chose to stop at 1.

Going out when we want, watching a programme when I want and all the way through, not arranging days around someone else's, the shape
of my body... Need I go on....

But wouldn't change it for anything!

Sitting down for 5 mins with a cuppa!!!! X

Pre baby body including bowel control.

Being able to talk properly with dh.

Having a good nights sleep.

Not having so much to worry about.

Having a job I loved rather than gritting my teeth through a dreadful job just because it fits into school hours.

Being able to watch what I want on the tv.

Spending any money on myself.

My mum asking how I am first.

Unstressful holidays.

Feeling happy.

DC are now 10 (twins) and nearly 16. TBH, all the things I missed are now slowly returning but with the added bonus of kids I adore. Soppy but true!

Free time.

I don't really miss anything as to be honest I didn't really have many care free years after I left school as I had 1st one at 21 - and you can't miss what you never really had!

I miss the lack of worry. I worry far more now I am a mother.

lying in
spontaneous days/nights/meals out/hoildays
my pre-baby stomach
my evenings (currently sat on the floor in DS' bedroom waiting for him to fall asleep)

Sleep (5 & 3 year olds who still don't sleep through and get up at 6am)

Sport- used to do loads, now just a fraction of that.

Life really improved once DC2 was old enough to occupy himself so we could read again. I read at every opportunity and it's great.

Having the time & energy to really connect with my true friends, and having the time and energy to pursue anything more than a superficial new friendship. Most of my closest friends don't have children yet and still party lots. Yes I still see them but it does sometimes feel a bit different :( They have busy lives too & I can't do all the stuff we used to do.

Oh and travel to far flung places. Not saying it can't be done & we do still go away, but I personally haven't been able to bring myself to do long haul.

Sleep

Nothing. But, I have a husband who splits parenting 50/50 (although breastfeeding makes that difficult in the early days. I have willing babysitters in the shape of my parents and PIL. My friends have kids of a similar age. We are comfortable enough to have a nice life ( by 'nice' I mean the bills are paid, we can afford a wedk bybthe sea side every year, an abroad holiday every couple of years etc. Mat leave will be a bit of a struggle but it's doable). My dh is going to go part time so that I can focus on my career when I go back to work in August. I'm lucky I think.

Freedom
Spontaneity
Disposable income
Holidays where and when I/DH want
Evenings out
Tidiness
Calm serene sense of being
Eating meals I want, and not largely based on cheese, ham and bread
Peace
Quiet
Adults
Small car
Long all day bike rides

Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep!

The nights out and child free holidays I still have as my DH is very hands on and has DD no problem. We also have a great babysitter who we enlist once a week.

It doesn't have to be the end of your social life.

I will say I miss being anxiety free too...to echo a PP.

I miss all the stuff I took for granted.

Lie ins
Naps
Freedom of movement
Evenings out without having to arrange sitters
Pub lunches without colouring in
Camping easily

Sleep
Lie Ins
Non-Pixar films
Non-Dreamworks films
Complete ignorance of stain removers, tupperware, talking toys, school uniform, hideously expensive shoes that last 6 months, school uniform rules, soft play centres and other people's poo.

A lot of the above...even though I work 4 days a week a lot of what niangua said resonated with me, especially the guilt element of wanting time to myself, I haven't had time to go to a gallery/event/relaxing bath since DD was born 18months ago, I started an exercise class one morning a week, but as it was 'my day with DD' I was guilted into giving this up- (I am aware that a lot of this is my relationships fault, not because I have a DD)

Recently I have been very wistfully remembering 48+hour parties on bank holiday weekends, and having an active social life.

I love her so much it hurts, and would never turn back time, but I won't have another!

Sleep and gym twice a day