To ask what you miss most about pre-baby life?

[missb00]

Just that really. We are thinking about starting a family but want to know what you miss most about pre-parenthood??

It's not so much the sleep for me as waking up naturally, instead of being forced awake iyswim. Lazy weekends just watching a box set all day and night. But the positives sooooo outweigh that!

I miss being able to go out to the cinema or for a drink with friends at the drop of a hat.

Lie-ins with my dh, not just tsking it in turns.

Waking up naturally instead of when the children wake up.

Going somewhere without a packed bag if stuff. This extends to older children (snacks, toys, spare clothes) not just baby stuff.

Being able to work late or have a night out without arranging childcare.

Spending spare cash on ourselves instead of the children.

Limitless time to enjoy hobbies etc instead of chunks of time hemmed in by the children's needs/naps etc.

Weekends getting taken up with kids parties.

That's all, really

But they are lovely.

I miss:

Not having to wear pantyliners
My pre-pregnancy body (I've put on a bit of weight but am finding it difficult to get motivated to lose it, and I've got postpartum arthralgia which hurts a bit and makes me feel old)
Unbroken sleep
Getting all my work done before I leave to go home

But honestly, I don't miss anything nearly as much as I thought I would. DS was a bit of a surprise and I wasn't very keen on having kids before he came along, but he is the absolute light of my life now and everything is infinitely better now that he is here.

Having the mornings to myself! I recently had a week without the DC and couldn't believe how much TIME there was in the day. I missed them like crazy but I was much more relaxed and focused. I had all this headspace and could solve all these problems that had been lingering on in my mind.

Other than that: going out in the evening with DH. Lots of friends do manage this more than we do, however. But somehow we've found it difficult to do the whole babysitter thing, so going out as a couple is v. rare (and can never be spontaneous!) Do it while you can!

I would also say (if it's possible) - make sure you are financially secure and if possible, financially comfortable before you have kids. It's obviously not essential for them (they don't need much except love and food etc!) but for me it's made a HUGE difference. EG paying for babysitters, being able to buy helpful shit like a sleepyhead and not having to spend my maternity leave worried about money as I spent half my life in coffee shops etc

I know many will scoff at this and I know it's not an essential but for me it was so helpful to have.

I don't really remember life without children, because I had DS at 21 and inherited two stepsons at 20. But spontaneity is starting to return to our lives now DS is nearly 17, and we can now go away for weekends or overnight without having to arrange childcare. We didn't have a car before so it limited our ability to just decide to go to the seaside etc.

Sleep
Flat stomach
A pelvic floor that works

I miss my body. I had a beautiful figure and despite being slim again my stomach looks hideous. Without clothes it's a mess.

Only thing I miss are lazy days. We feel like we have to cram so much in to our weekends now. DH and I both work full time and we just want to wind down on a weekend but also want to do things with DS.

Someone up thread said it's not so much the early mornings as being forced awake unnaturally which is what I struggle with. Although, now he's older, we tend to be woken up by singing and shouts for mummy or daddy than crying which is easier. Campaigning for a TV in our bedroom so we can snuggle back to sleep while he watches CBeebies.

But we have both sets of GP's very close by so still manage to have nights to ourselves and trips out without DS fairly regularly - very grateful for that!!

Being able to take ages getting ready - shower, hair, nails, moisturising, reading a bit of a book, make up, get dressed, all at a leisurely pace without feeling enormously grateful to DH. Now if I want to do that he has to wrangle the toddler while I do it, which means I feel like I owe him the equivalent 'free time' allowance, nothing is ever entirely guilt free!

Spontaneity and being able to stay out late on a whim, although we can now do that, just not both of us at the same time. We are lucky with family nearby so we have it better than most but still have to plan everything in advance.

Smoking

Spending money without really thinking about it or worrying about it or guilting about it

BUT I absolutely love being a parent, and the things I miss are absolutely minor compared to the thrill I feel on my way home from work knowing I'm about to get a cuddle and a sloppy kiss and a huge smile and 'mum mum mum mum mum'.

Don't let this thread scare you, if you asked 'what do people love about post-baby life' you would want to get pregnant tomorrow

Thanks everyone! I'm not totally put off believe it or not!! We are financially secure, but not totally sure if we're ready to give up being selfish yet. We spent bank holiday Monday in our pyjamas with our 2 dogs watching a whole 2 seasons of Broadchurch and eating countless Easter eggs. Maybe we will just enjoy each other for a little bit longer

Having to check DP is going to be home before arranging to do anything.

Having a 15 min slot to get ready in the mornings, including washing my hair.

SLEEP!

Getting petrol without going to a Pay at Pump garage (there is only one local to us so have to pre plan when to fill up.

Somebody needs to create a survey somehow and then we can all see which category wins..

Shameless placemarking.

Oh blueflowers this thread will probably end up as a Daily Mail survey anyway 😂

Sleep, long sex/multiple orgasms, time alone with my partner to potter about.

missb00 definitely enjoy it a little while longer, I would. Although saying that, earlier in the thread you mentioned you love spending time sitting on the couch eating ice cream and watching TV.
With a 5 year old and 3 year old, that's all we seem to do of an weekday evening once they're in bed! So you may not miss out on it at all

We're very lucky that we can afford babysitters, can get weekends away and go on holidays so our day to day lives haven't changed too much, but what I miss the most is my libido. Seriously, I used to love sex, was horny all the time. It returned after DS1 arrived but failed to materialise again after DS2 - I want it back so badly!

Silence.
Sleep.
Waking up on my own accord.

Although I wouldn't change it for anything. He's my whole world

Thanks stroke. What will be will be I suppose, but this thread has definitely shown me I need to enjoy our child free time to the max!

I would missboo. We were keen to get going with children after we married, but in retrospect I wish we'd waited and had longer to enjoy it before dc came along at top speed!

I wish we had waited longer too so enjoy this time :)

I also have the mantra of "it's better to regret not having a child than having one".

Agree homity I had a tough time after DS was born and regretted him and it was the most awful feeling I have ever experienced. Don't regret him at all now but they were some dark months.

Physical space- I don't cope well with being manhandled and grabbed!

Mental space, just time and peace to think and ponder.

Waking up naturally, and quiet mornings. I would love to get up and have a quiet cup of tea alone in the kitchen listening to the radio.

Reading Sunday papers.