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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you miss most about pre-baby life?

351 replies

missb00 · 30/04/2017 15:47

Just that really. We are thinking about starting a family but want to know what you miss most about pre-parenthood??

OP posts:
CatsRidingRollercoasters · 01/05/2017 13:00

Everything everyone said, but I wouldn't change my 2 for anything.

Also, I always have wetwipes on be including when I'm at work

Blueflowers2011 · 01/05/2017 13:30

Thing is, these kinds of threads are always around and i read a few before having children. I didn't believe a word and thought everyone was making such a fuss. Ha ha ha!!

Naive, know it all and very silly me.

It doesnt matter how many things you hear or people tell you about parenthood. You will never really know how it is until you have your own.

Yes all amazing of course we know that - for me this is a totally different life to the one I had before. Now filled with children, family life and love which for me makes life - everything else we did before has gone however. I have been out alone with my husband 3 times in 6 years. And even then we had to rush back to get the children. Sofa dates is the way forward, not.

marabounuts · 01/05/2017 13:57

freedom. I have no time to myself. DC is severely disabled (autism and LD) for which we were obviously not prepared. Now my life centres around caring and always will. I have no freedom anymore. I miss that much more than sleep (which I also lack) or money (incidentally having a DC with SN left us piss poor too)

QueenRefusenik · 01/05/2017 14:07

Everything everyone's already said, but most of all I miss that lovely feeling I always took for granted of not being responsible for anyone but myself

Uiscebeatha85 · 01/05/2017 14:48

missclarke - That stuff is pretty easy with a nine week old, it's 6 months plus I've found hard work.

This.

Glad someone else said it Grin I was thinking 'just you wait!'

Mombie2016 · 01/05/2017 14:52

Reading
Silence

Oysterbabe · 01/05/2017 15:02

Don't feel too put off OP, if you started a thread about the best bits about being a parent that would soon fill up with tales of how lovely it is.
There have been some sacrifices but a cuddle from my beautiful DD makes it all worthwhile.

tappitytaptap · 01/05/2017 21:45

I miss lie ins (he is a reasonable sleeper, but no baby gets up late really do they?!) and the lack of responsibility. I didn't know (and am not sure anyone can explain til you've experienced it!) how all consuming it is to be responsible for a little person. However OP, before I had him (was 30 when I got pregnant), I'd felt for a while something was 'missing'. I don't feel like that anymore so guess it was DS. Occasionally I do get a little pang of jealousy for a luxurious child free holiday but DH and I did the long haul holidays, lots of effort/travelling for careers, lots of nights out etc before we had DS. Think I'd have felt more resentful if I hadn't done all that stuff. I still do lots of nice things and DS enriches our lives so much. He is 13 months and his face lighting up at seeing the pool when we were going swimming on Saturday morning made my entire weekend! And I still get the occasional night out - last night I had a great time but got a bit too drunk, and realised that I can have tonnes of fun on only a few drinks (will I remember this next time?! Wink)

Mulledwine1 · 02/05/2017 10:02

Being able to travel when and where I want to.

I know some people don't think twice about taking a 2 year old to Cambodia or somewhere, but I didn't, and still wouldn't, see that as a holiday!

Mulledwine1 · 02/05/2017 10:04

I was thinking 'just you wait!

And these sorts of comments are the least helpful ever.

I've actually been really pleased that when people said "you'll never sleep again, just you wait", I had a baby who slept really well.

And at the moment, I have a teenager who is human too! Though as he's only 14.5, there are 5 years for the just you waiters to have their "fun".

Queenofthebrae · 02/05/2017 10:19

Without a doubt the ability to be spontaneous. My DH and I would quite often go for an impromptu meal out or weekend away now everything has to be planned for.

Topsy44 · 02/05/2017 10:31

A proper lying in the sun, reading books, doing nothing holiday!!

MrsMarigold · 02/05/2017 14:31

Being thin.

ChihuahuaLover89 · 02/05/2017 14:43

Being free just getting up and going places with my friends and sleep.

SlipperyJack · 02/05/2017 14:45

Quiet.

FrenchLavender · 02/05/2017 14:46

Being young. Having more sex. That's all.

plutohasfeelingstoo · 02/05/2017 15:04

Just being able to sleep when ill. The constant illnesses and not being able to sleep it off is brutal!

suzu1982 · 02/05/2017 15:28

The same as most others really, spontaneity, sleep, hot drinks, having a meal to myself.
That said I wouldn't change ds for the world and my life is so fuller because of him.

Joinourclub · 02/05/2017 15:31

Holidays. Spontaneous nights out with friends. Lazy Sunday's down the pub. My figure.

YeahILoveSummer · 02/05/2017 15:38

Sleep.
Being able to be spontaneous.
Late nights + long lie in at the weekend.
Going out for dinner after 7pm.
Only having to think of myself.
Money.

Wouldn't change it as the love you have for them beats any of this Smile

GeekyWombat · 02/05/2017 15:43

Waking up under my own steam. I was always an early riser, but waking up naturally at 6am and being dragged from sleep by a screaming child at the same time is a very different feeling.

MrsPringles · 02/05/2017 15:44

Sleep. Not being tied to a routine.
Drinks after work, my figure Wink

But I would absolutely not change DS for anything in the whole wide world, he's the best thing that ever happened to me

JaxingJump · 02/05/2017 15:52

The headspace. Children can be psychological torture at times, it's hard to understand the truth of that till you experience it. The repetition, the needing something every second of every day, their unwillingness to let you rest your mind for a few minutes and recover, their unreasonableness, their aggression and primal response to simple things, the noise and constant damage they cause to the things you are trying to do (like prepare food or sweep a floor) or just to the family surroundings (dangling out of a curtain, pulling an oilcloth off a table bringing down glasses of water, banging on a wall with a toy hammer). It's very hard to explain how the accumulation of all that while you are trying to get anything done, like the old cliche of going to the toilet, can chip away at your temper and fill your head till the stress makes you physically shut down.

So yes, headspace is what I miss.

Blueflowers2011 · 02/05/2017 16:14

JJump well said. I thought I was the only one with this kind of family. Still learning 6 yrs on...

I would have frowned on this post pre-kids. Post kids I agree with every single comment. Somebody posted about how annoying the just you wait people were, which used to irritate me senseless when I was expecting too. But for my circumstance they couldnt be more right, I got 2 terrible sleepers and more. Love them to bits as we all do but headspace I agree with. I come to work just so I can zone out during the hour long journey there and back just to get my head together.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 02/05/2017 16:19

Aargh, DC1 is due in 14 weeks, this thread is scary! What have we done? ShockGrin

I miss my pre-pregnancy figure, sleep, and WINE. All. The. Wine.

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