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Original poster

Man took picture of dd's breasts

181 replies

WildBelle · 30/04/2017 15:44

Yesterday dd (12) and her friend went to a large event. It was at a hotel right next to a shopping centre. In theory under 16s were meant to have an adult with them, so I was prepared that I might have to stay, but when we got there no one on the desk said anything about them needing an adult with them, and most people there seemed to be under 16 with no adults in their group. Dd1 is at the age where hanging around with her mum is really not cool so she wanted me to go, and dd2 would have been a massive, whinging pain in the arse if we'd stayed so it kind of suited everyone.

So I took dd2 for lunch and a wander around the shops in the shopping centre right next to the hotel. After a couple of hours dd2 phoned to say they'd had enough and wanted to leave, so we walked back over and met them.

On the way home, dd and her friend told me about a man coming up to them when they were at the event and asked to take a picture or dd (she was dressed up as a character and did look pretty cool). She agreed, but instead of using the proper camera he had with him, got his Iphone out and zoomed right in on dd's breasts (she is very blessed in that department), and took a picture. They found it quite funny but I was pretty shocked. He'd given them the impression that he was taking pictures on behalf of the event, although of course he could have just been saying that.

Dd's friend was chatting to another friend they'd met up with at the event last night and apparently this guy had done similar to other girls too.

I am tempted to contact the event about it but don't know what they can do, and they will probably just say that as dd is under 16 she was supposed to have an adult with her. But a grown man going around taking pictures of a 12 year old's cleavage isn't ok is it?

OP posts:
SlowLifeLove · 30/04/2017 17:50

'I don't think you did anything wrong in letting your dd and her friend go to this event without you.'

Even though the event specified that under 16s needed to be accompanied by an adult, and, knowing the after story, you don't think there's anything wrong with it? The only reason events like this specify that adults accompany children is to safeguard children - no other reason.

SlowLifeLove · 30/04/2017 17:51

@joannegrady90 How do you suggest the OP was meant to do something about it at the time? What could she have done?

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 30/04/2017 17:52

WildBelle I think you're going about this the worng way, sorry. Get in touch with the police as a priority and let them decide if a crime has taken place or not. They may not even need a description if they have this on CCTV. Your DD said he put his phone right up to her breasts, missing her face, so it doesn't sound innocent, and you've also said she looks like a child (so he can't say "Oh I thought she was over 18 so it was OK to photograph her tits"!).

Original poster
WildBelle · 30/04/2017 17:54

Ok, spoken to the police and they advised me to contact the hotel to check about cctv, which I've done. Looks like there should be cctv in the area dd was in so I've updated the police and they will get an officer to contact me.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/04/2017 17:55

@joannegrady90 - if you HAD actually read the thread, you would know that the OP was not there when this incident happened, so could not have gone after him, taken the phone off him, or 'done something about it at the time'!!

Original poster
WildBelle · 30/04/2017 17:55

Whataload - I have contacted the police.

OP posts:
joannegrady90 · 30/04/2017 17:55

To be honest she shouldn't of left her dd. She stated she suffered from crippling anxiety etc. Then goes on to say she's blessed in the breasts department..

I think it's a case of realising her dd may not be ready to be left unsupervised.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/04/2017 17:57

Doesn't explain how you think she could have taken the phone away or anything else, @joannegrady90.

You hadn't read the thread properly and your last post is just trying to squirm out of admitting that fact.

joannegrady90 · 30/04/2017 17:58

She could of asked dd what he looked like and searched for him at least! Asked about etc I'm sure the shame of her confronting him would of counted for something.

NormaSmuff · 30/04/2017 17:59

joannegrady90
back off dear.

even if op had gone she might not have been With her dd at the time. her dd is 12 not 4

joannegrady90 · 30/04/2017 18:00

Anyway this is derailing the thread. I hope he gets caught op and please keep a closer eye on her. Good luck

SlowLifeLove · 30/04/2017 18:02

@joannegrady90 You don't appear to comprehend the fact that the OP was not present at the event, and was only told about this 'On the way home'. That means, after the incident had occurred. Had you read the full thread you will have seen the the OP's daughter has difficulties maintaining eye contact and thus has found it difficult to provide a description of the man.

deckoff · 30/04/2017 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/04/2017 18:04

More squirming, joanne. Wouldn't it just be easier to admit that you didn't read the thread properly, or missed the main facts?

Meekonsandwich · 30/04/2017 18:14

As a frequent comic-con goer, anyone in costume (cosplay) unfortunately is subject to horrible reactions and weirdos.

There's some good posts on tumblr ect that say cosplay is not consent!
Because there is a REAL problem with unwanted touching, shoving, hugging, inappropriate photos ect.

It doesn't just happen to girls and it's not just when they're wearing tight and revealing costumes but I could ask any one of my friends and they'll tell me they've had an uncomfortable experience at least once.

I would go over boundaries with your daughter, what is and isn't acceptable to her and role play what she would do if someone pushed those boundries.

What would she do if someone grabbed her arm? Her backside? Her breast?pulled her in for a hug? Kissed her cheek?

Go over senarios that make her uncomfortable and have a plan in place.

Also photographers in these places can be very hit and miss. Anybody can and will take pictures, but the consensus is you should always ask, so you're not being mean to ask someone to delete an unsolicited photo.
If she's happy to be photographed, ask if the photographer has a business card, professionals will, and ask them to email the pictures to your daughter after the event.

PossumInAPearTree · 30/04/2017 18:21

Have you looked on instagram to see if the photo is on there with a relevant hashtag? Dd goes to ComicCons and instagram photos after are a major thing.

LBOCS2 · 30/04/2017 18:27

As someone who has been... overburdened in the chest department, I would also point out that it's actually quite difficult to dress in a manner in which they're not 'out', short of wearing a small marquee (and even then I'd probably have a useful food-catching shelf halfway up my torso). Clothing which would appear completely demure in someone with small breasts changes look completely when someone differently shaped wears it - and either way, the man shouldn't have gone after a minor to take photographs of her.

TheRealPooTroll · 30/04/2017 18:27

Well he may not have known she was 12 if she's well developed but I'm pretty sure it's a crime to zoom in and take a picture of anyone's breasts without their consent (not just consent to a photo). I would speak to the police op. I imagine the venue has cctv and the man may be able to be traced depending on how he paid for his ticket.

Original poster
WildBelle · 30/04/2017 18:31

Thanks meekom - I am facepalming now at being so naive about the amount of weirdos that go to these events. I spoke to my mum earlier and before I even told her what happened yesterday she was telling me about a Stacy Dooley (sp?) documentary she'd seen about anime being the new child porn in Japan. It's all very worrying.

And good idea possum, I'm a bit shit with instagram but I'll try and have a look.

OP posts:
muckypup73 · 30/04/2017 19:01

I dont know why you are all having a go at joannegrady90 what she is saying is right, inmost cases children on the spectrum are mentally below their age level and one that has crippling socail phobia too, one that wont walk into a shop on her own.

So number 1, why leave a child like this unnatended at a very busy event and number 2 if the man said the picture were for the website and they arrive on the website what a tit the op will feel and especially if it comes back a normal shot, and I also know children on the spectrum can get things mixed up.

Also children under 16 were supposed to be supervised, where is the ops part to play in all this????? I mean how many people would actually let a neurotypical child at the age of 12 go to an event where children under the age of 16 were to be supervised??? andleave them alone??

Coming from a parents of an autistic child that I do not let out my sight.

NormaSmuff · 30/04/2017 19:11

muckypup
pointless to have a go at the op.
its done now. the op dd was with her friend. there were lots of teenagers, underage at the event.
it is what to do Now that the Op is asking.

some of you are like the crowds at a guillotine.

muckypup73 · 30/04/2017 19:13

NormaSmuff, its not a case of that, its a case of knowing how vunreable these children are and the dammed stupidty of it. What happens if this man is totally innocent?

SlowLifeLove · 30/04/2017 19:15

'What happens if this man is totally innocent?'

Nothing. If the man is totally innocent nothing is going to happen to him.

NormaSmuff · 30/04/2017 19:16

What happens if this man is totally innocent?'

That is for the police and hotel to establish hopefully

PossumInAPearTree · 30/04/2017 19:37

I'm fairly sure at other ComicCons under 16s are allowed in in their own. I know dd went last year to Manchester and she was 15yo. She was with friends and it never crossed my mind that she wouldn't be safe. I dropped her at the door and picked her up.

I just asked her if she's had issues before and she said never. She said at DokiDoki quite a few people asked to take photos of her and she thought one bloke was a bit odd as he wasn't in a costume but he didn't zoom in on her boobs!

I think it's reasonable to think your kids would be safe enough at such an event.