To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

Also correct me if I'm wrong but aren't the stats something like 70% of women start breastfeeding but a only a tiny tiny proportion continue past a few weeks?

Which suggests to me the biggest issue is lack of information and support post starting to breastfeed.

I bf my daughter. I wouldn't have done so at the expense of my mental health, since this was so bad in the postpartum period bf or not made little difference. I enjoyed bf and it came easily. When I was very ill my DH ff her.
You have the right to weigh up your circumstances and choose what is right for your family. You also have the right to be peed off that your DD seems to be constantly ill but it probably isnt anything your did or didn't do.

Does anyone agree with a suggestion - page 3? Page 3 really went all out to make such a sexualised fuss of breasts in the uk that 'we' are a bit squeamish about breasts for anything other than sex?
It is just that breastfeeding rates are so bad here it makes me wonder what the difference is here compared with many other countries.
Although some French colleagues were rather surprised I bf beyond 3 months.
I am probably totally wrong though.

At 16 mo I have to be honest I think it makes no difference at all. I think it makes a difference 1. Especially for prem babies 2. For the first month and 3. Less so but for the first 6 months. I think the differences for2&3 are probably not noticed on an individual basis and more relevant for the population as a whole.

Yes.

YABU.

The research data is clear and unequivocal.

Anecdata is not data.

Across a population, BF makes an enormous difference to human health.

From what I"ve heard, a year bf is enough. Some ppl even say that once the baby has grown teeth it's time to stop bf because they are ready to chew food so breast milk is no longer necessary.

""The science does show that child 1 who was FF from birth has increased risk of infant mortality, poorer health outcomes etc though.."

Yes, because there's every chance that the FF baby was born into a non MC socio economic class, with attendent health issues."

No, that is wrong.

The data is weighted for socio economic factors, mother's age, education etc.

When it's flattened out, the results are still that BF gives massively better outcomes.

Can't believe I'm having to argue this on Mumsnet, people used to know this stuff.

Some ppl even say that once the baby has grown teeth it's time to stop bf because they are ready to chew food so breast milk is no longer necessary.

Nope. Babies still need either breastmilk or formula until they're 12 months, but they usually start getting teeth by 6 months.

". Some ppl even say that once the baby has grown teeth it's time to stop bf because they are ready to chew food so breast milk is no longer necessary."

Those people are wrong. It's time to stop whenever the mother and child are ready to. That might be at 2 weeks or at 6 years.

They're called milk teeth for a reason. They're the teeth which children have when still able to breastfeed. Once the adult teeth come through, the mouth changes and they're not able to get milk out anymore. (And tbf, most kids have stopped long before anyway.)

It's possible for babies to be born with teeth! It's also possible for them to get to a year old and still have no teeth at all. So I really don't think teeth has anything to do with breastfeeding or when to stop feeding and move to solid food.

I breastfed both my children to a year old and was very happy to be able to do so. It wasn't all plain sailing but on the whole I found it a very positive experience.

However, at two weeks old my second child came down with an infection, was admitted to hospital for a week and nearly died. It was a truly terrifying experience watching my tiny baby in A&E surrounded by consultants all struggling to help. Breast feeding did not protect from this infection. I often wonder how I would have felt if I had not been breastfeeding. I imagine I would have felt unimaginably guilty believing that if I had, my baby would not have been in that situation.

I absolutely believe the science and statistics are right, that breastfeeding can offer babies protection, but it clearly does not make them invincible.

Erm I think there is a growing body of evidence that breastfeeding may provide benefits vs formula feeding but most of the researchers agree that the benefits are marginal.

I think Bertrand asked a very interesting question - where does the pressure come from?

I felt huge pressure to BF. DS was EMCS and had blood sugar/body temp issues that necessitated a formula feed administered by the MW a few hours after he was born (at which I nearly had a breakdown) and then admission to the NICU, then SCBU. He was fed through a nose tube. I spent hours trying to express colostrum, then milk because he just wouldn't BF. I cried a lot, in hospital and at home, especially when I made the very difficult decision to go fully FF as expressing was too bloody hard 6 weeks later.

I'm trying to put my finger on why I felt this pressure and, let's be honest, elephant-sized load of guilt when I couldn't do it.

There was the NCT BF woman. We sat through 2 hours of basically a lecture on the benefits of BF. I remember her saying that in 30 years of her work, she'd never once met anyone who had a genuine medical reason for not BFing.

There were a fair few NHS leaflets on BFing but I didn't take much notice because I was planning to anyway. There were the looks from certain MWs on the postnatal ward when I was expressing instead of 'proper' BFing, then when I was asking for bottles of formula to top up my meagre supply of BM.

I think at least some of guilt came from having read all the studies and concluded that breast is definitely best, then not being able to do it, therefore 'failing' at early motherhood. I suppose in this sort of context, it's one of those first world problems.

I know now that I never failed, that a thriving, well-cared for baby is the goal. But I didn't know that then and it nearly floored me. And I did read some MN threads that made me feel worse, but I can't name names. I eventually learned to ignore it all and have a perfectly healthy, happy if dairy-intolerant nearly 2yo.

So it's all a bit nebulous, really, isn't it? My advice to any new mothers who ask is just to do what you need to do to make sure both mother and baby are thriving and happy. It's different for everyone.

*The data is weighted for socio economic factors, mother's age, education etc.

When it's flattened out, the results are still that BF gives massively better outcomes.*

It's true that researchers try to account for compounding factors as much as possible, but this is difficult to do completely and most studies include some kind of disclaimer to this effect. I also think it's misleading to say that BF gives massively better outcomes, as the effects are usually pretty small on an individual scale (a few percentage points difference in risk). It may add up to a significant benefit on a society-wide scale but that's a different issue.

If you are not enjoying it and you baby is 16 months, please stop. Formula is not poison, and you have already given her pretty much all the health benefits of breast milk already, assuming she is getting most of her nutrition from solid food by now. 16 months is more than enough. Give yourself a break! You have done brilliantly to breastfeed her for so long. Pat yourself on the back for the great job you have done and let that stage of your parenting go.

You have to do the right thing for yourself and your baby, nobody else. I think 16 months is brilliant.

I was very glad of formula, it was the right decision for me. I am so glad I was not on MN when I was making those decisions.

You have done really well to get this far. As others have said there s no knowing what other infections DC might have got/not got. One of my friends with 3 adult children now, was firm in BF until 12 months then stopped!. So don't beat yourself up!
Once I and DD got the hang of it I found it so easy and stopped when she was 2 by going away for the weekend leaving her with DH. It was fine and she was fine too. I guess 16 months will be the same

There really seems to be more about bf that we think. Anyhow, I do think it shouldn't be an unpleasant experience, and if it is, perhaps it's time to stop. Simple as that. I truly believe 16 months is more than enough.

Not bf-being increases risks of lots of things & many of them are not evidence in infancy or childhood, but become apparent later in life.
It's all "risks" tho as everyone has different environmental exposures & genetics etc to start with & infant feeding is just one of many factors which contribute to overall risk.
I stopped bf-ing mine when it was doing my head in & affecting my mental health at 18m-2yrs. 16m is brilliantly going! I'd personally not continue if I didn't like it anymore (tho I didn't like first couple of months but persevered then to get things started properly)).
Sorry to hear you've had troubles. It's all anecdotal but my kids have not suffered with eczema or asthma whereas other kids in the family have. They've had their fair share of illnesses & one is prone to ear infections (as I was as a child) & bf is meant to help with that but it's obviously not a cure, just reduces risks when averaged across a population.

Ps don't forget the health benefits for yourself as a mother too! Not worth regretting it imo

YANBU OP, I think the pressures on mums these days to be perfect in every way with a pregnancy, perfect natural birth followed by breastfeeding and perfect parenting is incredibly stressful, damaging and unrealistic. The message should be do your best, trust your instincts and do what makes you and your baby happy. No one can tell who has been breast or bottle fed when your child reaches school age.

I felt enormous pressure to do it all by the book with DD1 and breast fed her for longer than DD2. Funny DD1 is the one with that sufferers ear aches and has allergies and DD2 does not

"Erm I think there is a growing body of evidence that breastfeeding may provide benefits vs formula feeding but most of the researchers agree that the benefits are marginal."

A body of evidence that contradicts the decades of evidence the WHO have collated?

Where?

It's amazing you've fed until 16 months! I lasted 3 days with my first and put my second straight on formula as I couldn't face it at all!

I really appreciate the comments saying that the Mother's mental health is important. I didn't breastfeed more for this reason and I've been called all sorts for not Martyring on!

I know where you're coming from. My 2 have had chicken pox but weren't "ill" with it as such. Only one got mild hand, foot and mouth. My 18 month old has never been sick. Where as my friends children who were exclusively breast fed are always puking or ill and seem to always have ear infections.

I think you've done enough OP and should stop now. I breastfed both my children for just over a year and then I felt that it was time to stop. I felt drained and I didn't enjoy it anymore. I'm a great believer in breastfeeding and I don't think you should underestimate how much it meant for your child. You don't know how she would be healthwise if you didn't breastfed. Perhaps she would be sick more often and for longer? It's not just about comparing your child to other children because you won't override genetics and other factors, it's about giving your child the best you can give them to help them be the healthiest they can be. It's also not just about physical health but also emotional - something that's hard to judge when they are still tiny. You've done amazingly well to do it for 16 months but I don't think you should put pressure on yourself to do more.