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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some people have more money than sense

184 replies

hollyvsivy · 29/04/2017 23:07

An old school friend posted on Facebook earlier about taking her four kids plus two nephews out for the day. There was no special occasion yet they all went out for breakfast, stopped for drinks at Starbucks, ate lunch out, bought new toys and then a teddy from build a bear each to take home. Someone commented on how their DC loves build a bear too and she replied how she'd spent £250 in there on the six bears Shock That's two weeks food shopping money for me.

AIBU to hate these kind of braggy posts and such wasting of money when so many people could use the money so much better?

OP posts:
GinasGirl · 30/04/2017 13:56

I post nice days out with my kids all the time, I like documenting it.
I also love seeing what my friends and family are up to, sometimes I think 'oooh lucky, I wish I was there instead of doing the washing and mopping the kitchen floor' but I do realise it's FB, and things aren't always what they seem. ( see post re:bacon sarnie! Grin )
Fwiw my husband also works away all week while I am at home, and he would never consider me spending family money on a day out as frittering it away.

m0therofdragons · 30/04/2017 13:59

We did similar with dc - it was an opportunity to spend the Christmas money they'd saved up. I didn't post how much we'd spent though. My dc loved build a bear, have one each and that's it. Not planning to go again. just had a lovely 3 week holiday in the USA - that probably cost more than your monthly food shop too with 5 of us Hmm

Emboo19 · 30/04/2017 14:02

I'm not a fan of posting on social media, but that's my choice, plenty of people do it. I actually hate the do-gooder posts on fb more than the bragging ones, look at me giving a homeless person a coffee, type.

She took her kids and nephews for a day out, hardly crime of the century!

As my dad says, how many people in this country really truly only spend what they need to live? In its most basic form of food, shelter and means to keep warm.

Build a bear is bloody expensive though, got roped into taking my god mums dd in their for her birthday and spent £40 on one child!
They sell knickers for a bear!!!

Emboo19 · 30/04/2017 14:04

And my boyfriend has to work away sometimes too. He doesn't really have the option not to, if he's needed away. The reward is more money though, and he certainly wouldn't begrudge me and dd having a treat with the extra money!

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2017 14:19

There was no special occasion yet they all went out for...

I think it's the use of the word "yet" it reads like you feel people shouldn't do this unless there is a special occasion. It sounds like she gave the kids a lovely day out, six young kids isn't easy to manage, and I'm sure they came back delighted. Being s stay at home mum to four kids with a husband away often is no walk in the park. The fact you could use the money " so much better" than giving the kids a day out or buying them gifts is really irrelevant, you can't ask her to stay home or give you the money instead. We each have different financial circumstances and lifestyles. Being jealous of others and resenting them for it only make you unhappy.

Smeaton · 30/04/2017 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oly5 · 30/04/2017 14:35

I take my kids on expensive days out all the time. I don't put the cost on FB but I do document some of them (family lives far away and they love seeing pics).
What's it to you what I spend my money on? We have decent earnings.
And for the record my kids are also v happy with a picnic in the park or other free activities.
Spending on fab days out doesn't mean they are automatically spoilt

scaryteacher · 30/04/2017 14:44

Consumers spending money in shops equals employment for those who work in those shops.

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 30/04/2017 15:01

I've read your other posts. You are quite insecure. Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and focus on building your own self esteem. It is not normal to be so threatened by other people doing things differently to you. This is a running theme in most of your threads.

AprilShowers16 · 30/04/2017 15:06

People who have more money than sense = people who have personalised license plate numbers or buy a solid gold iPhone cover.

People who have take children out for the day and buy them all presents are just people who have more money than me 😆

melj1213 · 30/04/2017 15:24

So your friend had a nice day out and documented it on social media, how is that unreasonable? You just sound jealous tbh! She didn't mention prices and costs until someone else mentioned in the comments and she responded with an actual figure, which might be high but you have no idea of it was within her budget or not!

Taking six kids anywhere is never going to be cheap, but why should it only be allowed for "special occasions"? I am by no means well off, but last weekend I took my DD, my two nieces and nephew out for the day, just because they were all at my house and it was a nice day so we decided to go an do something fun.

We walked into town, stopping en-route for an ice-cream and a round of mini golf on the little course in the park (I had a voucher for a 1/2 price family game) ; we then went to a nice locally owned Italian restaurant for lunch (where they have had the same daily lunch deal for at least the last 15 years of 2 for 1 on any pasta/pizza); then we stopped off at the toy shop and I let the kids choose a toy each (within a £ limit and there was a sale going on); on to soft play for an hour then back to my house where they built a pillow fort, got into their PJs and watched a movie until my siblings came to collect their children.

It cost me maybe £150 but the money was worth the fun memories we all made - just because. We didn't have to just wait till a birthday or Easter or whatever to have a nice day out ... it was nothing special, just a couple of activities, lunch and a movie and I could have done free activities only or cheaper activities, but equally I could have done much more expensive activities too. The difference being that I wasn't going through the day with a mental cost tally, we just did things I knew were within my budget and I knew either had good deals and or I happened to have vouchers for.

Yes I posted about the day to FB because I wanted to share the pictures and memories with our wider family/friends (some of whom are abroad and so don't see the kids much) and also to document the day for future reference. If I thought another friend was judging me and gossiping about the fact I was daring to have a fun day out with my family that shock horror! cost money and post about it on my own social media, they'd be getting dropped straight away.

mando12345 · 30/04/2017 15:25

FFS don't really care what other people spend their money on but I do judge people saying how much they spent on a day, just not the done thing.
Plus I hate the word bragging and the assumption that people are bragging about silly stuff like buying some bears?
Spend your money on what you want and enjoy it.

Crispsheets · 30/04/2017 15:47

Zhan
John Lewis partnership card

NameChanger22 · 30/04/2017 15:51

If you didn't spent £125 a week on food you could also have more days out like this.

I spend £40 a week on food and we go to Starbucks and Build a Bear all the time.

metalmum15 · 30/04/2017 16:22

You do know you can just unfollow her on Facebook without actually deleting her, right? Then you won't have to see her posts any more and feel annoyed.

metalmum15 · 30/04/2017 16:25

By the way, do her children climb up slides OP? Grin

practicallyperfectinmyway · 30/04/2017 16:40

Some people consider a day out eating/shopping as a good leisure day out, happy consumers obviously. Mugs imho.

Their choice, ignore, unfollow, de-friend. Not my kinda tribe but each to their own.

Personally, a day out not shopping I'd consider bliss!

mygorgeousmilo · 30/04/2017 17:04

This OPs threads.... goodness me, what a horrible attitude you have. Don't worry about what your 'friend's' husband thinks. He's probably like most husbands, and doesn't mind his wife and children enjoying their lives without criticism. God you're bitter! Concentrate on your own messed up life, and stop with the threads that you have no intention of finishing. Deal with your own husband!

Elphame · 30/04/2017 17:08

It's what keeps the economy turning - if people stay home and don't spend their money then we go into recession -jobs (in Starbucks etc) are lost.

metalmum15 · 30/04/2017 17:32

gorgeousmilo I've got the title for OPs next thread, AIBU to post too many threads in AIBU?

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 30/04/2017 18:54

Hey mygorgeousmilo, I have a mygorgeous Milo too!

happypoobum · 30/04/2017 18:58

YABU

I can't see the problem really.

Woman takes DC and DN out for the day. Does nothing remarkable. Does a couple of facebook check ins and moans about the cost of bears.

Hardly worth getting your knickers in a twist over it OP.

corythatwas · 01/05/2017 12:41

I recently spent £60 on taking my brood to the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. An "experience", you see, not at all consumerism, oh no, no, no: consumerism is what other people do.

But I doubt dd got more out of it than she did of the hours of playing with her bear.

Familyof3or4 · 01/05/2017 12:46

'More money than sense' is bvu.
If they have that going spare they can spend it as they choose.
If the money amount was in reply to a comment I don't think that's bragging.

user1489675144 · 01/05/2017 17:29

Really is it anyone else's business how the lady spends her money. If you don't want to read her FB posts don't, unfriend or block or don't spend valuable time reading them. Don't let it get to you that she may have more money to spend on things you don't feel important - her choice really.
The way I look at things - I wouldn't spend £250 on BABear but have no issue with those that do (not my business). I wouldn't spend hundreds on tattoos (but not my business for those that do). I wouldn't spend money on false/gel etc nails/fake eyelashes/brows/extensions every other week or whenever but none of my business if others do. I don't smoke - it costs too much and smells apart from the unhealthy side but again if an adult wants to spend their own money on it, up to them. Worry about yourself and not others.