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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some people have more money than sense

184 replies

hollyvsivy · 29/04/2017 23:07

An old school friend posted on Facebook earlier about taking her four kids plus two nephews out for the day. There was no special occasion yet they all went out for breakfast, stopped for drinks at Starbucks, ate lunch out, bought new toys and then a teddy from build a bear each to take home. Someone commented on how their DC loves build a bear too and she replied how she'd spent £250 in there on the six bears Shock That's two weeks food shopping money for me.

AIBU to hate these kind of braggy posts and such wasting of money when so many people could use the money so much better?

OP posts:
YouOKHun · 30/04/2017 00:18

Never compare your reality to someone else's edited highlights. Best way to do this is to take FB with a pinch of salt/don't bother with it; can't do anything about others' bragging except stop providing the audience.

Dancergirl · 30/04/2017 00:18

It does sound like a lot but £250 divided by 6 kids isn't THAT much. My dc loved Build a Bear when they were little, I'd much rather spend money on an age appropriate toy than an electronic device like an iPad or iPod which so many young children seem to have these days.

Pinkheart5917 · 30/04/2017 00:19

I wouldn't say shopping and eating out is a fantastic day out Good job you weren't invited then, Maybe she knows her own children and they enjoy a lunch out and a teddy bear they've built.

The fact that he's working hard for the money and not seeing his DC much as a result and she's frittering the money away He works away so you could argue it would be difficult for the other parent to work. Maybe in that realtionship all money is family money and as long as his dc and his partner are happy, he doesn't mind what she spends it on.

Bubblesagain · 30/04/2017 00:26

The fact that he's working hard for the money and not seeing his DC much as a result and she's frittering the money away.

Frittering only in your opinion, he might want them to have days out like that when he's away. Also she's looking after 4kids so its not like he's the only one working hard.

londonrach · 30/04/2017 00:36

£125 per week shopping...i wish. £30 per week here. What a waste of money unless you feeding 10 people. 😜See everyone has different budgets. Doesnt matter what others spead.

coolaschmoola · 30/04/2017 00:36

According to you I 'frittered' money today.

I didn't even spend it on a hair shirt! The cheek of me, eh? Hmm

I don't see the money I spent as 'frittered' though. I saw things, I bought them. Did I need them? No. Did I want them? Yes. Is how I spend money anyone else but my DH's business? No.

You sound jealous, sexist and bitter.

honeylulu · 30/04/2017 00:45

Oh dear holly after reading your other threads I'd concentrate on your own problems if I were you. Your husband who can't be bothered with his children for a start.

CheeseQueen · 30/04/2017 00:49

Meh.Based on this OP how do you know it wasn't a one off?!
For all you know she could have posted it after a week of shit and months of scraping pennies.
Fancied a fun day out with the kids and posted about it.

corythatwas · 30/04/2017 01:19

hollyvsivy Sun 30-Apr-17 00:07:06
"I wouldn't say shopping and eating out is a fantastic day out. I'm not bitter, I'd happily spend that money on my DC if I had it spare but I'd go for a few days away rather than some teddy bears."

Ah so not on charity or improving the world then, but on something that you would enjoy more than the teddy bears.

I did actually buy dd a build a bear once, after she had come out of hospital after some pretty horrendous experiences. She loved that bear and he was like a friend to her. Good job I didn't know that this was wasting money and that I should have spent it on days away instead because that would have been what you would have liked.

I haven't deliberately trawled through your posts but have happened to read a couple of threads of yours over the last few days and you do appear obsessed with "worthy" ways of spending time and money, and with the thought that other people are less worthy than you. Is there a reason for this?

RedBullBlood · 30/04/2017 01:45

You're making life difficult for yourself, op. How about you don't concern yourself with how other people spend their own money? Why worry about what her dh would think? Why spend time thinking up how you would spend the money instead? And, based on your other threads, why judge what other people let their kids do/don't do? You have your own life to lead and dc to bring up as you see fit.

38cody · 30/04/2017 01:49

They had a nice day out within their budget - just as you have a nice day out within your budget. So what? YABU

toffeeboffin · 30/04/2017 02:11

DB is like this. Breakfast out, coffees, theme parks, takeaways, supper out. The kids are a 3 year old and 6 months, they'd probably prefer the park and a picnic!

farangatang · 30/04/2017 02:13

There are so many people who seem to think their personal worth is connected to how much money they have (or don't have).

I find it just as sad when people with lots of money seem to think they need to brag (or think it is actually something TO brag about) as I do when people with less money get upset about it.

How is mentioning the bears cost 250 quid 'bragging' anyway? To be honest, depending on your income, for some people that's a negligible amount. So what?

Ecureuil · 30/04/2017 02:23

Seriously? People can spend their money on whatever they want. Why do you care?
Yeah Facebook bragging is annoying... but guess what? You have the option to not see it. Unfollow.

DJBaggySmalls · 30/04/2017 02:24

Same planet, different worlds.

Ecureuil · 30/04/2017 02:25

She doesn't work and has her PIL next door to help her with the DC because her husband works away. I can't help thinking I'd be annoyed if I were him

Good job you're not him then. I don't work, my DH works away a air bit. He's happy for me to spend money (within budget) on days out/things for the children. He'd probably be a bit surprised if I spent £125 a week on food and toiletries though! More like £75 here

OlennasWimple · 30/04/2017 02:52

Gosh, you sound so jealous OP!

It's not "frittering" money, it's spending money having a nice day out as a family. And my DCs and their friends still love the Build-A-Bear toys that they have had over the years, so they can be pretty good value on a cost/value basis.

emmyrose2000 · 30/04/2017 05:12

Lots of jealousy and judgement from the OP and some other posters.

Who cares what other people spend their money on if they can afford it? If they're not asking you to pay the bill why does it matter what they spend their money on?

So what if there wasn't a "special occasion"? If that was the only criteria for going out and/or spending money, then it would negate about 90% of days out.

Clearly I'm not judgemental enough, as I've never considered my friends' Facebook posts as bragging. For the most part, I just enjoy the little insights into their lives. Ditto my own FB posts - they're not put up with the intention of bragging (not sure how posting a photo of a family ducks waddling around my local park could be seen as bragging, but I'm sure someone here could twist it that way), but as (1) recording things that happen to me/my family; and (2) sharing with those who are interested in what I'm/we're up too.

Crispsheets · 30/04/2017 05:28

You sound a miserable fucker.
You would be appalled if you were my "friend" at my spending and generosity.
But I can afford it. And enjoy it.
Get off FB. It clearly is making you bitter and twisted.

Crispsheets · 30/04/2017 05:43

And having read your other threads over the last few days, this one reinforces your sneery attitude towards other people.

JaxingJump · 30/04/2017 05:57

I bet she had a really nice day and loved seeing 6 kids she adores making up their bears! Sounds like a really nice day out for them all.

WateryTart · 30/04/2017 06:11

I don't think FB is for you, OP. Envy isn't attractive and makes you look a bit of a twat.

Sounds to me as thought they had a lovely time.

BoomBoomsCousin · 30/04/2017 06:39

I don't think it's a braggy post necessarily. She took 6 kids out for the day and they presumably had a lot of fun. Of course it's going to cost more with 6 kids than with 1 or 2.

We were hard up when I was growing up and our days out tended to be to free places. We took sandwiches and a bottle of (really weak!) squash. My mum still found the money for a packet of fags every day though. That seems like more senseless spending than taking kids to build a bear.

Honeyandfizz · 30/04/2017 06:42

YABU. My dc and I love nothing more than going into the city, having lunch then going to the shops. I work full time and bloody hard for my money and spend it on that which gives us pleasure.

The FB thing is irritating which is the exact reason I deleted my account years ago.

feathermucker · 30/04/2017 06:50

Her money.....her choice to spend as she wants!! I'll never understand why people get so angry about what others put on Facebook.......just concentrate on your own lives! Should she not spend money because someone else would spend it differently?????

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