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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think some people have more money than sense

184 replies

hollyvsivy · 29/04/2017 23:07

An old school friend posted on Facebook earlier about taking her four kids plus two nephews out for the day. There was no special occasion yet they all went out for breakfast, stopped for drinks at Starbucks, ate lunch out, bought new toys and then a teddy from build a bear each to take home. Someone commented on how their DC loves build a bear too and she replied how she'd spent £250 in there on the six bears Shock That's two weeks food shopping money for me.

AIBU to hate these kind of braggy posts and such wasting of money when so many people could use the money so much better?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 30/04/2017 08:21

I don't understand why you think it's ok to spend money on 'going away for a few days' but not on a fun day out. You might enjoy going away for a few days more but other people are allowed to decide to do other things that they might enjoy.

I bet the six kids had a blast. My dc love Build a Bear and they also love going out with their cousins.

LedaP · 30/04/2017 08:22

CURSE THE ENDLESS COMPLEXITIES OF MODERN LIFE!

Grin
SootSprite · 30/04/2017 08:30

You don't come across very well in all this OP, you sound bitter and judgemental. Perhaps her dh agrees with her that, if they have spare money, they can spend it however the hell they like? Perhaps they think that having a fun day out, with nice food and treats, isn't 'frittering'. Hmm Seriously, who made YOU the Fun Police?

Oh, and by the way, if you don't want to see what she posts on HER Facebook you do know there's an 'unfollow' function right? No one is pointing a gun to your head making you read it. FFS.

Trills · 30/04/2017 08:33

I wish I had more money than sense.

I've got LOADS of sense so you'd have to give me loads of money for money > sense.

Zhan · 30/04/2017 08:35

Crispsheets, what credit card is that?

We tend to live on 0% for two years cards ... get big holidays on them or a car etc and then just pay them off over the 2 year period. I like it - means we don't have to wait for stuff but also don't get charged for doing it.

OP it's nothing to do with you how other people spend their money, if she can afford it then so what.

A couple of years ago I paid over £500 for one night in the Shard. Everyone at work was mortified and said the likes of "you could have got a travel lodge for £50!" Or "I could have gone abroad for a week for that!".

Well I didn't want to stay in a travel lodge or go away to some shitty "little Britain" destination for a week. I WANTED to stay in the Shard and you know what, it was worth every penny. I'll never forget it.

youarenotkiddingme · 30/04/2017 08:36

I'm having a laugh at this thread and the advice and comments about posting on FB! It's a very witty summary by some posters.

This morning I could write

"DS has made us breakfast this morning - bacon sandwiches - yum!"

What that doesn't tell you is that DS has used 3 frying pans ,4 plates, 3 knives, tongs and a fish slice and it's looks like a bombs gone off in the kitchenGrinand it'll be me cleaning it up!

denverblue · 30/04/2017 08:38

Build a bear is a ripoff imo. I let my DD, 8 at the time choose a bear and outfit. It came to just over £30 which is expensive for a standard teddy bear and one outfit of clothes imo. I remember queuing to pay and being astounded how busy it was in the shop.
A coffee or a drink at Starbucks - well, you won't get much change from a fiver would you. If you have less than a tenner left for lunch, I guess that it would be a sandwich or McDonald's. That's your £40 per child. She treated 6 children which was pretty generous of her. I'm not that generous.
Day outs are expensive. My DC have never been on the London Eye because I think that the price is absolutely extortionate for a family of 4
for what is a 35/40 min ride. We're far from poor so maybe I'm just tight!

BazilGin · 30/04/2017 08:47

If you envy/judge on facebook then maybe it isn't for you as a lot of people use it to record their days out & holidays. There are a lot of exotic holiday destination pics on my feed from friends' easter breaks. I don't feel envious at all, we have just had a week in UK and the weather was lovely, so I feel really lucky that we could afford it and I am happy for all happy folks posting about great times they had whether it was at home or away!
I would never put how much things cost on fb and I do think that's tacky. But her money, she can spend it on whatever she wants!

BarbaraofSeville · 30/04/2017 09:26

A day out like that might be easily affordable to her and it's her money so it's up to her how she spends it. Or maybe they got a deal?

There's always discount vouchers available for chains so you can often get things cheaper than full price so some people really can make their money go further. I've seen 'double your money' gift cards for Starbucks on Groupon more than once, and maybe Build a Bear are on Groupon too.

If she's always complaining about never having any money to pay bills or deal with unexpected expenses, it might be worth asking if she needs any help with budgeting and managing her money better, but otherwise it's her business.

LakieLady · 30/04/2017 09:43

I often think that people who brag online about how much money they have/spend must actually just run up credit cards and live in debt. People who genuinely have a lot of money tend not to brag.

Quite. Bragging about how much money you have or have spent is really rather vulgar!

My friend's DIL was always doing this. She's kind of stopped now that they're having to go bankrupt.

Chloe84 · 30/04/2017 09:56

The fact that he's working hard for the money and not seeing his DC much as a result and she's frittering the money away.

Doesn't she work hard taking care of 4 DC?

I have a feeling this thread will be deleted as it's 'too identifying' Wink

Haliez13 · 30/04/2017 10:12

But she's not bragging about spending money. She's talking about a fun day out. Isn't that what FB is for? Talking about what you're doing?

And...eh. She chose to spend her money on a fun day out for the kids. I presume they had a lot of fun, and some kids adore their Build A Bear bears and keep them for years. If she's struggling with bills or something, then it's a bit dumb, but if she has that disposable income, that's her choice. There's no special moral value in feeding your kids only Lidl frozen peas.

SillyMoomin · 30/04/2017 10:14

Shade of green there op

MaisyPops · 30/04/2017 10:14

Haliez13
Depends. If she's talking about how much things cost and does repeatedly then I'd say it is bragging.

If it's just 'we've had a nice day' and you can tell that doing all that with you kids cost a bit then no its not bragging.

Bluntness100 · 30/04/2017 10:26

Kids love build a bear, my daughter did. Yes it's expensive and yes it's lovely to be able to take them there and do that for them. It's not a waste of money if she can afford it and it's not frittering if they are both happy to spend their money the way they wish.

You do sound jealous of the fact she can do these things and has the disposable income to spend. I think you need to take yourself off Facebook. Clearly there is always going to be people with more than you and people with less than you. if you can't handle it, then get off face book and stop looking. What Is it they say, comparison is the thief of joy? Being jealous only damages you.

PNGirl · 30/04/2017 10:44

I hate threads like this. Yesterday I had a lovely day with DH - we went to the zoo, then to Bills for lunch, then did a bit of shopping with a Starbucks at the end. After we got home we went to the cinema. God forbid we spend our money on days out instead of staying at home watching telly.

For what it's worth, the zoo was BOGOF as we got the train, the Bills lunch was paid for with a Christmas present voucher, Starbucks was paid for on the app and the cinema was a trip on our Limitless cards I got discounted through work. It is possible to have fun and not "waste" money. Life's a balance.

stumblymonkeyreturns · 30/04/2017 10:54

I'm in the...its her money and her Facebook camp.

If she has the disposable income, why shouldn't she spent it giving the children a great day out?

Her FB sounds like it could be a bit braggy but equally your OP sounds a little bit jealous and bitter

Comparison is the thief of joy. You can 'unfollow' her on FB without unfriending her if her posts bring you down.

C0untDucku1a · 30/04/2017 11:26

People prioritise different things. I have friends asking how much i spend on days out in summer, i say i save up all year for the summer holidays, but lots of the activities are free anyway, like the beach.

At christmas and birthdays my children get the present they ask for and a suprise. They by no mens get a huge pile. I know people who buy christmas presents all year so their children have a huge tabloid paper style pile. Which includes clothes! They got two eggs each (bought by grandparents) and a science kit for easter. Certainly not the massive pile some of my friends bought their children. we have done build a bear, followed by starbucks. Expenisve day out but they enjoyed it and i had the money to do it.

Sometimes i get a little jealous of my friends who holiday abroad every year, when i see their beach pics, whereas for us it is every two years, but then i remember that actually we go away in the uk and ireland frequently. I remind myself id rather have cheaper holidays throughout the year than one big expensive holiday once a Year.

So, like i said it is about priorities. There are probably things you do which some of your friends consider to be a Waste of money.

Also, the unfollow option is your best friend of fb.

thedragonflyinn · 30/04/2017 11:32

Why is it anyone's business what anyone else spends on anything?!

This! YABU

RebelRogue · 30/04/2017 12:13

Jesus you sound jealous and boring as fuck. You stepped it up though,by not only judging her as friend,but judging her as if you were husband. Fucking hell woman get a life!

kimann · 30/04/2017 12:20

Confused I don't see the problem of her posting what she likes on her FB (doesn't even sounds like bragging - just what she did for the day!) - - might not be what you do, but that's you. YABU to be annoyed at how other people spend their money and what they post in FB. Hmm

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 30/04/2017 12:34

People are free to spend their wages as they like. For some it's shopping, for others it's alcohol etc.

If you prefer experiences over actual purchases that's fine but others like a mix or prefer actual things. Those bears were an experience as they got to make them and they will have fun playing with them for a while after.

I hate the whole my child has a stick and doesn't need anything else. It's smug and condescending and you usually find the adult spoils themselves and purchases many non essentials so only the child is restricted.

Girlsworld92 · 30/04/2017 13:27

Thank you it was a long time ago now and I've since had 2 girls so all good. Back up dress is a good plan x

Girlsworld92 · 30/04/2017 13:35

Sorry. Posted here by mistake Confused

MrsSherlock · 30/04/2017 13:47

I would have commented: #winningatlife Grin

Facebook braggers/show offs are inherently arseholes. And they don't only brag about how much money they spend, they also like to project a certain lifestyle to others...