Elderly (so 70+) relatives who make racist remarks in general conversation ...

[Laiste]

do you personally challenge it or do you ignore?

If you've challenged, what's happened?

It's not rude to ask someone where they're from!

Being old doesn't give you a license to be a cunt

Oh, I dunno. I have every intention of morphing into Mrs Brady Old Lady and whacking pretty young things with my walking stick as I get older. Have just turned 50 so am contemplating the start of the training regime

Is this a thing? - My great grandfather would not buy a Japanese car. Of course it's a thing to him. I think he was racist. I believe he came to see that he was wrong. He had a certain experience which to him was hard to get over. He has died since then but would have had two lovely great great ( can't work out the greats ) but lovely children in the family who are half Japanese. He would have loved them.

There was a lot of strong feelings after the war. If he confined his racism to the Japanese I suspect it may have been due to that rather than generalised bigotry.
Lots of people in that generation wouldn't buy Japanese as many Jewish people wouldn't buy German after the war.
I don't think its quite the same if you have had very negative and close personal experiences of one culture that had lead to trauma.
Much as I believe that its not the way forward, I haven't been through it.

Does anyone remember the way Japanese people were depicted in Boy's comics in the 70s and early 80s? It was awful. Lots of close ups of scary, evil faces them doing despicable things to English soldiers.

I remember adults telling me tales of what they got up to in the war. Spearing babies and all kinds of terrible propaganda put about at the time.

I put them right in a sarcy way and hope they get the general jist.
Why not explain in a polite way rather than risking getting their backs up & making it into a problem?

Yes, anyone, like my father, for example, who had worked on a hospital ship in the Pacific in the last months of the war might be forgiven for harbouring ill feeling towards the Japanese. However, he would be 100 if he was alive today. Not 70.

I wasn't talking about a 70 year old.
I doubt an adult's great grandfather would be 70 would he?

Ah Mrs DV - you are correct - my grandfather would have been a very great deal older than 70 - sorry. I take your point. My mistake.

Also went a bit off piste with the discussion there , sorry.

What is the correct, polite way to describe someone who is non-white? My mum (76) was taught that 'coloured' was the polite term to use, she used it recently in front of me and While I knew it was wrong and offensive, I didn't know what she should be saying instead. in her defence, she grew up and still lives in rural Scotland and I don't think she's had a single friend, relative or other close contact who is non-white.

What is the correct, polite way to describe someone who is non-white?

I'm not entirely sure why you would need a generic term to describe people of multiple different ethnicities?

Give me the context and I'll tell you.

Eek I'm getting it wrong already and causing offence. My post was very badly worded.

Does 'person of colour' only refer to people who are black? Or is it anyone who is not white?

Or is 'of African descent' more appropriate for someone who's black? Or just 'black'? Like the pp who used a long winded explanation to the police, I'm tied up in knots not wanting to give offence.

I know I sound so ignorant. Im genuinely trying to learn here. I'm quite good at spotting racist terms, not so good at knowing what to use instead.

the context would just be talking about someone I'd met I guess and describing them to someone else. Maybe I shouldn't even be mentioning that aspect of a person? But isn't it part of who they are?

But why would you want to describe an individual in terms of what they're not (ie white) rather than what they are (ie whatever ethnicity they are - if their ethnicity is even relevant at all)?

If you're talking about a specific individual, you would mention their specific ethnicity. And you should only be talking about their ethnicity if it were actually relevant, which it rarely is, unless you tell people 'This white lady was such a cow to me at the supermarket today!' all the time.

It's part of who they are, yes. Being a mother is part of who I am, and I would be right narked if people said 'Undersecretary, who's a mother, really liked that WWII film'.

"Eek I'm getting it wrong already and causing offence"

No you haven't. That's the trouble- people keep on saying it's all so difficult and people take offence so quickly- and so the myth gets perpetuated.

Brokenbiscuit, because the nationality/ethnicity might be unknown?

Caucasians are absolutely described as white for exactly this reason.

User- if you were telling someone an anecdote about someone you met in the supermarket, would you mention that they were white?

I think if aweewhile is looking for clarity then they should be helped on an anonymous forum as they are looking to inform themselves. This is half the problem, we are too scared to ask or offend these days.

With regards to the question OP I absolutely pull up everyone of any age who makes a racist/ageist/sexist remark. My parents' do say the odd racist thing and I come down on them like a ton of bricks (in their 80's). They know I disapprove and so don't slip up often.

"I think if aweewhile is looking for clarity then they should be helped on an anonymous forum as they are looking to inform themselves. This is half the problem, we are too scared to ask or offend these days." I agree.

What is the correct way to describe someone who is white?

The fat person in the corner?

The one who picks their finger nails?
The one who sniffs all the time and doesn't use a hanky?
The person wearing the wig?
The person in the high heel shoes that makes a noise?

Or you could describe what they are wearing.

°Brokenbiscuit, because the nationality/ethnicity might be unknown?*

Sure, but what relevance could it possibly have to describe someone by a generic term that meant "not white"? A Japanese person looks quite different from a Nigerian person, for example. How meaningful would it actually be?

I can think of very few situations indeed where the simple fact of not being white might actually be relevant.

When my MIL complains about 'immigrants'. I helpfully point out that she is an immigrant. 😂

Bertrand, yes I might, if I were black?

I have more than once been described as white by black people. I think it's OK isn't it?