Elderly (so 70+) relatives who make racist remarks in general conversation ...

[Laiste]

do you personally challenge it or do you ignore?

If you've challenged, what's happened?

All of the people who led the Civil Rights Movement in the US and who are still living are old.

I say something if the person is all there mentally 70 isn't old anymore these days.

I work in a place with volunteers of 80 who are right on the button with world events and who have a decent way of looking at things.

I don't like racism, homophobia, sexism, disabalism or anything which marginalises people who need support....so I say something.

Not knowing appropriate language is fine. Carrying on using inappropriate language once it is pointed out is racist. Regardless of age. And will people stop being ageist please.

I find it rather strange that people would take it up with a relative, probably an elderly relative, to defend unknown strangers. I think that is anti family which is every bit and probably worse than being racist.

Ho. Lee. Crap. Well, here's some nice racism for the thread (of course people of minority ethnic descent are 'unknown strangers' and not, you know, our friends, family, colleagues and children, and us) and a truly bizarre position on family.

Yes, antifamilyism, a societal scourge which causes more death and suffering than any other -ism ever could!

Seoul actually yes, my relative is pretty frail and wouldn't take it very well at all which could compromise how we care for her

My aunt also refers to the lovely "darkie" doctor who.look as after her (I do tell her she can't say that any more) . Other relatives do refer to P### shops but for them it's an adjective to describe the local corner shop that opens long hours same with the C###### for the Chinese takeaway. Wrong but not intentionally racist.

" Wrong but not intentionally racist."

If they carry on doing it once it has been pointed out to them then yes it is intentionally racist.

Well to be fair Bettrand I grew up in the 70s and am 51 and racist jokes and comments were completely normal In the 70s. Not everyone was racist of course but it wasn't considered as it is today.

I grew up in the 70s too, and was taught that racism was wrong from a very early age. Yes, there was a lot of racism in those days, but decent people rejected it then as they do now.

Age is no excuse.

My mother died last year at 96 and I was always taught that racism was unacceptable. When she got older she used to check out terminology with me.
I do know some racist people my age, older and younger and yes I challenge it.

'Darkie' was unacceptable in about 1910 frankly. My mother was taught that n* was wrong in 1940.

I will admit that to me, I understand totally the reasons why 'coloured' is unacceptable but I have never quite understood why 'person of colour' is so much better.

I would suggest that people commenting here watch an old programme called Til Death Do Us Part. It was about the Garnett family. Warren Mitchell was Alf Garnett. Una Stubbs was his daughter. Her husband was played by a former Prime Minister's father in law, Tony Blair no less. I cant remember if it was bbc or itv. It will give posters here an idea if how things were in the 70s

Yes. Any many people though it was unacceptable then. But that is not the point. The point is that ignorance is of course an excuse for using racist language. It is not an excuse for continuing to use it once it is explained. Regardless of the person's age.

I do now tackle with my FIL. I wont change him (he's committed and thinks me and DH are well meaning but we'll learn when we're older) so I used to just walk away. But my kids adore him and I dont want them exposed to those views. He was basically given a choice - keep those views to himself or dont see them.

My dad used to challenge his mum and they'd have flaming rows about it. But I learned from that, that racism is not OK.

It depends if they have dementia or not.
And it depends how they react; if they are being goady and getting a rise out of upsetting people I'd ignore it. Otherwise I tackle it.

I was a 70's child. There was a lot of racist stereotyping on TV, as well as downright racism, like in Til Death Us Do Part. Also just bizzare things like The Black and White Minstrels Show. Anyone remember Lenny Henry in Tizwas? Would Children's TV get away with that type of stereotyping today. TV in the 70's and early 80's was seriously grim!

My parents (both 75+) veer between using inappropriate and unacceptable language out of ignorance and downright racism. I always challenge. We had some big arguments about Brexit. Both are devastated that repatriation of immigrants didn't start immediately. I think in part it is a generational thing. They believe the Britain in the 50's was a better place than it is today. With my upbringing you might expect that I would be voting UKIP or even BNP but somehow I learned that discrimination of any type is wrong - my parents didn't teach me this. I'm the left wing balance to their right wing jingoism!

Boring, ageist thread. All the currently acceptable terms will change and you'll be left behind, and I promise you, you won't automatically keep up! Some of the changes will even strike you as nonsensical.

Examples: "cultural appropriation" - who knew? I mean, who the hell knew?

Asking people where their family was originally from - used to be a sign of friendly interest, prompting stories about other, interesting places, social bonding etc - now it's absolutely taboo!

Foreign - used to be an all-purpose term for not British or Irish, "we're going on a foreign holiday" - now the worst thing you can say, apparently.

MN in 40 years should be interesting.

My mum (79) has never in her life been racist. Now however she reads the Daily Mail and says stuff about immigrants taking over. For anyone who says the Mail doesnt spread racism.

I was brought up in a small town where , in the 40's and 50's , everyone was white. I vividly remember my mum taking me on a day out to Birmingham and saying "Look , there's a black man!" . Mum, horrified and mortifiedas we were on a full bus, said "No dear, he' s not a black man, he's a coloured gentleman" . Terminology no longer acceptable but at least her heart was in the right place and she was born in1905. I know how thrilled she would be with our two mixed race grandchildren had she lived to see them.

I would suggest that people commenting here watch an old programme called Til Death Do Us Part. It was about the Garnett family. Warren Mitchell was Alf Garnett. Una Stubbs was his daughter. Her husband was played by a former Prime Minister's father in law, Tony Blair no less. I cant remember if it was bbc or itv. It will give posters here an idea if how things were in the 70s

I'm not sure what your point is? Yes, there was racism in the 1970s, as there is racism now. Till death do us part was written to challenge racism and satirize characters like Alf Garnett. Unfortunately, the satirical stance was lost on some of the audience, but that doesn't change what the programme was trying to do.

Asking people where their family was originally from - used to be a sign of friendly interest, prompting stories about other, interesting places, social bonding etc - now it's absolutely taboo!
No it isn't.

It is, I read that here quite a lot. It might be permissible among friends, it's no longer something a stranger can ask.

YY Brokenbiscuit.

My mums racist and she's 86 but she doesn't say bad stuff she just assumes all people are the same as in "they're good dancers aren't they" when talking about a black guy on strictly or "they're very good doctors" after seeing her new Indian doctor. My boyfriend is mixed race and Ive noticed she now makes less comments like this, plus I do pull her up on it, such as I said "no mum not all black people are good dancers" 😂

I very much doubt my ex will consider himself elderly when he takes his 18 year old twins to see universities when he's 70.

When I was growing up, terminology like 'twenty shillings in a pound' and 'two pints in a quart was also perfectly normal'. Guess what - I adapted.