Elderly (so 70+) relatives who make racist remarks in general conversation ...

[Laiste]

do you personally challenge it or do you ignore?

If you've challenged, what's happened?

My point is that there really were people like Alf Garnett and it was thought totally normal. People did feel the way Alf Garnett did. Those who were in their 20s 30s and above will remember times when a person who was not 20 generations of white British stood out. People are marginalised for a lot of reasons not just race. People on this thread dont see that others will have a different viewpoint because of where they might have lived many years ago. That too is difficult. We have to watch what we say. I was asked about a person's ethnicity by Police after an incident. Rather than just say one word I gave a long winded explanation. The police then said do you mean 'X'? It makes life just that little more difficult and do we need more difficulties?

So did I, Flo - don't be so patronising. You know that wasnt the point.

I apologise if that was patronising user but I'm exasperated. The seventies were nearly fifty years ago and we've learned to adapt our ways and our language in other areas of our lives. Why is this so different?

"Boring, ageist thread. All the currently acceptable terms will change and you'll be left behind, and I promise you, you won't automatically keep up! Some of the changes will even strike you as nonsensical.

Examples: "cultural appropriation" - who knew? I mean, who the hell knew?
The words are newish- the concept isn't

Asking people where their family was originally from - used to be a sign of friendly interest, prompting stories about other, interesting places, social bonding etc - now it's absolutely taboo!
No it isn't. Saying " No, where are you really from?"is

Foreign - used to be an all-purpose term for not British or Irish, "we're going on a foreign holiday" - now the worst thing you can say, apparently.
Good Lord, is it? Every day is, in fact, a school day......

"My point is that there really were people like Alf Garnett and it was thought totally normal. People did feel the way Alf Garnett did"

You do know the character was intended to be satirical, don't you?

I agree with Bertrand it's how it's worded and the intent behind the question, a friend asked me where my mixed race boyfriend was from and I replied London, to which she said but where's he really from to which I replied born and bred in Notting Hill, she looked confused and gave up after that 🙄 Another friend asked if his Dad was black and I said no his Mum is, she then asked whereabouts did her family came from, and I replied the Caribbean. There was a very big difference in the 2 friends attitudes when they were asking questions.

My point is that there really were people like Alf Garnett and it was thought totally normal. People did feel the way Alf Garnett did.

Yes, and some people still feel that way - but it was wrong then and it's wrong now. And fwiw, I don't think it was considered "normal" by decent people at the time - Alf Garnett was widely recognised as a nasty bigot, because that's what he was.

Tbh, I still don't really understand your point, or why it was relevant who acted in it - it's not as if the cast were espousing views personally. There are probably programmes now that poke fun at racist bigots, but that doesn't mean that racism is considered to be normal.

It is
No
It
Isn't

I know the things that went on around where I lived. It was known about but nobody did anything to stop it. It is not allowed now. Perhaps you just had to be there to understand

It really isn't taboo to ask people where they are from, if the question is asked in a genuine and interested way.

I agree that it's racist when people go down the route of, "no, but where are you really from?" I was asked recently by an intern where my colleague was from. When I told him she was from London, he clarified that he wanted to know where she was really from. I had to set him straight, but it was really depressing that a young, educated kid still had this attitude.

It is rude to ask where people are from. I've been subject to this for decades. I have a Norn Iron accent, but I did go to elocution lessons. So more BBC than Norn Iron, but it's an accent you really cannot escape. I've been asked which part of Canada am I from. Or the best, I can't quite place your accent, where are you from? Why does it matter?

It is not allowed now

Lots of things are allowed now.

My dh was racially abused in the street outside our house. The police came and took a statement, interviewed the abuser and then did nothing, because there were no witnesses.

I helped some Asian students report an incident last summer, where a bunch of local teenagers were throwing large stones at them and hurling racist abuse. The police woman we spoke to initially took a statement but commented that they were just kids, probably bored because it was the summer holiday. I doubt that anything would have been done had I not made it clear that it needed to be dealt with as a hate incident.

We have moved on in so many ways, but we still have so far to go.

But worse are those who guess correctly. You're Irish aren't you? My heart sinks at this question.

"I know the things that went on around where I lived. It was known about but nobody did anything to stop it. It is not allowed now. Perhaps you just had to be there to understand"

So racism isn't allowed now? That's good to hear.

"It is rude to ask where people are from."

It really isn't!

As someone who is not from the area it really is. Hope that helps. And I was asked this in London as well as a 'local' area.

Stop with the asking and wait until people tell you.

I get asked where I'm from all the time as im a bit mismatched shall we say I really don't find it offensive. I would be if in a room with a lot of 'standard' looking people and I'm the only one asked though.

It is not rude to ask "where are you from" but asking a non-white person who was born in the UK "where are you REALLY from" is annoying and rude. I've never been FROM anywhere but the UK and i've never been to my family's home country.

Incidentally my bf's grandmother who is mid-eighties has been more welcoming to me than his sister who is my age.

But I'm not considered English, so therefore I find it rude to ask where am I from.

The only non white people I've ever met have had English accents. I wouldn't dream of asking where they were from. Strangely, they've never asked me either.

"But I'm not considered English, so therefore I find it rude to ask where am I from."

I am very puzzled that anyone would find "I can't place your accent- where are you from?" rude..............

That isn't the issue elendon however much to try and make it so.
Walking up to a brown person with an English accent and saying 'what country are you really from' is not the same as asking a person 'where are you from?'
You can ask anyone 'where are you from'.
It can mean what part of London/Cornwall/Manchester or what City/County or what Country/Continent.

Its not a rude question and it isn't racist.

What is the point of trying to persuade people who don't meet many non-white or non -UK people that they have to be really careful what they say?

Its the sort of nonsense the BNP and UKIP put about.

What point are you trying to make when you say that non-white people you know don't ask where you are from?
Presumably they know that already or are you suggesting that only white people take an interest in where people are from?

Really, Black are that self absorbed are they? All of them.

It's just a form of small talk isn't it? Weather's shit isn't it............Arsenal were a bag of arse last night weren't they............ah so where you from then?

"The only non white people I've ever met have had English accents. I wouldn't dream of asking where they were from"
Well, I might- particularly if the English accent they were using wasn't the local one. But when they said "Exeter" I wouldn't say "No, where are you from originally?" That would be rude.