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Original poster

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.

573 replies

Shitonmyshoe · 27/04/2017 23:34

Just that! For those who don't know, girls now call sexually aggressive/promiscuous boys 'fuck boy'. My daughter has no interest in lads and is only bothered about her GCSEs (very studious but outgoing kid). Today a lad in her year placed his index and middle finger to his face and wriggled his tongue between them (classy) towards my daughter. She told him, 'get out of my face fuck boy' which has resulted in her being punished via a detention. For background she is less than 5 foot in yr 10 and he is well over 6 foot and obviously trains (shithouse wall). Apparently, reason DD was punished was because she was being aggressive 😂

OP posts:
HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 10:51

And not all rapists start off with making obscene gestures at school.

But some do.

Sallystyle · 28/04/2017 10:56

I have plenty of teen neices who don't used that language

Grin Yeah right.

I thought that about one of my nieces until she didn't realise I was behind her one day.

I don't see anything wrong with op's daughter's reaction. I am 35 and if a man did that to me I would swear at him too.

Mind you, yesterday my daughter who is 10 years old got her tights pulled down at school, exposing her underwear to lots of other people by a boy the same age who claims he did it because he fancies her. He was told not to do it again. She spent the rest of the day feeling mortified, while he got a pathetic 'don't do it again'.

Datun · 28/04/2017 11:05

U2HasTheEdge

The Australian government has made an advert around "He does it because he likes you".

Perhaps your daughter's school could benefit from seeing it.

Sallystyle · 28/04/2017 11:11

DH plans to go in today as I'm working this afternoon to have a word with the teacher.

Poor girl was mortified.

That is a great video! I remember people telling me that boys wind you up when they like you. Get your hair pulled by a boy it was because he liked you.

Datun · 28/04/2017 11:20

U2HasTheEdge

Ask him if he will play the advert for them. He probably doesn't even have to speak. Just play the ad.

CopperRose · 28/04/2017 12:06

His actions were very aggressive.

A gesture is aggressive?!
Offensive, yes, but aggressive?

The boy should be suspended.

Utter overkill.
Suspended for a gesture?!

I'd have told the pair of them off tbh, with a detention for him but not her.

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:28

Suspended for a gesture?

It wasn't a"gesture", it was sexual aggression.

If someone grabs my arse on the bus, that's sexual assault. I suppose to you that would be a harmless tap.

Freddystarshamster · 28/04/2017 12:41

Homity

No it was a gesture. Nothing more. A rude gesture, granted but posters referring to it as sexual violence/aggression are ridiculously OTT

It's the same posters time and time again who no matter what the circumstances will minimise a females input into it. It was exactly the same with the jogger who was sprayed post.

Constant wailing "It's not the same because.....because patriarchy" Doesn't automatically absolve women of any wrongdoing. Both were rude. Both should be punished

Elendon · 28/04/2017 12:42

Your daughter has a right to be educated in school free from aggression of any kind. You can be sure if this gesture was made to a female teacher, the boy would have been suspended immediately - that's to the poster who said as a teacher they would have told both of them to grow up!

It's her immediate response to the disgusting sexist and aggressive behaviour of this boy that is being punished. He gets off.

I would say to the school, via email, that you are going to contact the police about the aggressive sexual behaviour displayed to your daughter. They should at least withdraw it from her school record. She should not be punished for her instinctive response to this.

AmeliaLion · 28/04/2017 12:43

I really think sexual comments and gestures should be taken as seriously by schools as racist and homophobic comments. In my school racist comments mean a minimum of 1-day exclusion. They happen rarely. If this were applied to sexual comments it wouldn't take long for the sexual comments to stop. It simply isn't okay that girls (and it is predominantly girls) are routinely expected to just ignore or remain calm in the face of sexual comments / gestures.

However, using sexual comments (fuckboy is a sexual insult) in the face of a sexual gesture is far from ideal, and I would expect a sanction to be applied. Albeit a lesser sanction than the boy involved. Provocation is a defence, but doesn't give you free rein to respond however you feel like.

Elendon · 28/04/2017 12:46

And to those who are saying his behaviour was way OTT. Would you be happy with a male teacher doing this to your daughter?

Datun · 28/04/2017 12:47

It's not just rude. Rude would be flipping the middle finger.

It's sexually aggressive.

To be fuming with DDs secondary school over 'fuck boy'.
CopperRose · 28/04/2017 12:51

*It wasn't a"gesture", it was sexual aggression.

If someone grabs my arse on the bus, that's sexual assault. I suppose to you that would be a harmless tap.*

It was a gesture.
It was not in any way sexual 'aggression'.

Someone grabbing your arse on a bus is sexual assault - I agree.
Why do you think I would disagree?

Just because I don't subscribe to hysterical hyperbole wrt a rude gesture, does not mean I advocate minimising actual sexual aggression.

PeaFaceMcgee · 28/04/2017 12:51

Good on her. And he WAS being a fuccboi. She was using language as a self-defence.

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:52

what people don't seem to realise is that so called trivial things like this are part of a much wider permissiveness in society which lets men get away with sexually aggressive behaviour.

We should have ZERO tolerance. Not minimise and excuse it with "it's just a gesture".

You wouldn't call rape "just a poke" would you?

Ladypieshop · 28/04/2017 12:52

Sometimes life is unfair, and a lot of us remember such injustices from our school days.

In 10 years time, your DD will be getting on with life successfully while this scrote may be featuring on Crimewatch or being treated for yet another STI.

Datun · 28/04/2017 12:53

CopperRose

Re that image and the tongue wagging that goes with it? You don't think that's aggressive?

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:53

Just because I don't subscribe to hysterical hyperbole wrt a rude gesture, does not mean I advocate minimising actual sexual aggression.

But you do advocate it, by default.

Elendon · 28/04/2017 12:53

And if the gesture was made to a gay teacher the shit would really have hit the fan on this pupil.

My daughter was once suspended for a week from school for making a racist remark against a pupil. Totally fabricated. We came down on the school like a ton of bricks. We counter accused of homophobia, the altercation took place because my daughter was called a fucking Lesbian and she retaliated. The suspension was erased from her school record. My daughter is now open about being gay, but at the time (13) she was an A* pupil and very conflicted about her sexuality.

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:54

And btw using the word hysterical is in itself misogynist.

Elendon · 28/04/2017 12:56

What is actual sexual aggression?

Is shouting monkey noises at a black person aggressive behaviour? Or should they just get over it?

CopperRose · 28/04/2017 12:57

And btw using the word hysterical is in itself misogynist.

Oh for goodness sake.

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:58

Elendon

I suspect a lot of the people here crying hysteria over this are the same people who dismiss casual racism as a "generational" thing and people "taking it too seriously".

HomityBabbityPie · 28/04/2017 12:59

See, copper proving my point nicely there :)

You can't escape misogyny. It's so insidious and ingrained 90% of the time people don't even realise it's there.

CopperRose · 28/04/2017 12:59

I suspect a lot of the people here crying hysteria over this are the same people who dismiss casual racism as a "generational" thing and people "taking it too seriously".

Why would you suspect that?