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Original poster

FUMING about this man's comments on my lunch at the supermarket!

650 replies

LunchRant · 27/04/2017 14:00

Working from home today. Extremely stressed as I'm really behind on deadlines for things. Decided to pop out for some fresh air and lunch. Went to the big Tesco near me and was browsing the lunch aisle (meal deal sandwiches etc) when a guy just walks by and tuts. Then he says "That's fattening. Definitely fattening."

I have definitely went up a size recently due to not having time to do my usual exercise routine, crappy sleep, and snacking for energy while i'm up at midnight typing/working. But the madness will end by the end of May and I can focus on losing weight again. Not my priority right now.

So i immediately got angry. Told him that he'd best stay away from it then (It was a hummus, falafel wrap btw). He giggled. Still didn't budge. He said something like he's been losing the same battle with his stomach for years. But his wife is still as thin as the day they got married. Then advised me to "stay away from all that. Fresh air is all that you need."

I asked if that's all his wife ate, fresh air. And i asked him to come over and tell me what i should be eating then. I was quite arsey. "Come on. since you've got such an opinion on what i should eat. Come and choose for me."

Another woman who had recently appeared in the aisle said i should calm down. Clearly the man was just trying to make conversation. I told her he should have said hello then and commented on the rain like a normal person. Not comment on my calorie intake.

Then the man starts acting like a victim. "now, now, that's not what i meant. Just being friendly." Tesco employee emerges, just walking by, and the woman informs him that I'm harassing an elderly gentleman.

The employee looked a bit awkward. Asked if everything was okay. I just grumbled 'fuck this'. Put down the bottle of water i was holding, swapped it for a full fat bottle of irn bru and also got a packet of crisps. Childishly said a big 'Yum'. Then told the man "you should be ashamed of yourself." then went and paid.

15 minute walk home and I'm still reeling!

Yes i over reacted. Yes i am half a stone overweight in terms of BMI. Yes i'm still stuffing myself into size 12 clothes when i'm now a 14. And yes, i'm touchy about it.

But i am so pissed off that someone feels it's their right to comment on what someone else eats (especially when he was clearly overweight himself!)

And i'm also pissed off that the woman just passed it off as 'friendly chatter'.

I now don't think i can go back there for a few weeks as I'm so embarrassed. Can't even stomach eating this lunch now as i'm actually feeling guilty about eating something so 'fattening'. Arsehole.

Also can't find the motivation to continue with this work. An hour til DD finishes school. Was hoping i'd make some progress today. Nope!

OP posts:
kaitlinktm · 27/04/2017 18:49

Ferris - I am not the OP - she's LunchRant - but I actually copied and pasted that from her original post - go back and look if you don't believe me.

Kjs81 · 27/04/2017 18:49

....albeit not always rude ones like this Hmm !!

kaitlinktm · 27/04/2017 18:51

But he did actually tell her to keep away from it say that all she needed was fresh air - which is all I was saying.

Ferrisday · 27/04/2017 18:51

I know Kaitlin
I was responding to her recent post

Original poster
LunchRant · 27/04/2017 18:51

What didn't i say in OP?

My later posts clarified that he was talking about the wrap in my hands, if not evident from my OP, if that's what you mean.

Also - nowhere in my OP did i say that he was looking at the food on the shelf. You made that assumption for some reason.

Yep, i have indeed had a shit day/week/month. And i'm feeling very stressed. Another reason why people shouldn't make personal remarks to strangers - they have no idea what's currently going on in that person's mind. If people must make small talk, they should keep it general and impersonal.

OP posts:
Ferrisday · 27/04/2017 18:53

Ok, lets change this a bit

I'm in the supermarket
Some guy comments that a product is fattening
Then I say- well you should stay away from It then
Who is being rude?

ArgyMargy · 27/04/2017 18:53

OP is fat. Man made a comment using the word fat/fattening. OP massively over-reacted and to punish him, bought something that will make her fatter/rot her teeth. How bizarre.

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2017 18:53

MNHQ have put this thread on their FB page.

On the plus side OP

'You' look very young and slim in the stock photo they've used and the guy really doesn't look very old either Grin

littleliving · 27/04/2017 18:55

He insinuated she should starve herself as women only need fresh air, and that's how his wife is still slim. Which is a bit odd at the very least.

Ferrisday · 27/04/2017 18:56

Oh dear Lord, he's making conversation
I give up
I'm out

Meekonsandwich · 27/04/2017 18:59

Honestly I dont think how you handled it was unreasonable. I think it's unreasonable to giggle and roll over like people expect women to do.
Oh he was just making conversation.
No he made a judgemental comment and op pulled him up on it.
Well done you. I hope he thinks twice next time.

He could go round saying that shit to everybody and he'll say it to someone with an eating disorder one day and it could cause them to break down.
Not acceptable.

NotOneThingButAnother · 27/04/2017 19:01

OP it wouldn't have mattered if you were 6st or 16st, he just wanted to be rude and you called him on it, then he got worried. Its nothing to do with weight and everything to do with his manners.

Anything on MN in which an OP mentions being a bit overweight seems to be a free pass for other posters to blame them for whatever they were complaining about in the first place, as if once you put on a stone you are fair game; exactly as that rude arsehole thought.

kaitlinktm · 27/04/2017 19:01

"Oh - those are delicious - I love those" would have been what I would call making conversation. Why bring fattening into it? That took him into rude territory.

ilovecardigans · 27/04/2017 19:03

It's rude and inappropriate to make negative personal comments on a stranger's food choices in the same way that it would be rude and inappropriate to make negative personal comments on their hairstyle, outfit or body shape. Rude is rude whether you're 18 or 80.

I have a friend who has a bold response in such situations, exclaiming 'And who the FUCK are YOU??!' before stalking off in high dudgeon.

booitsme · 27/04/2017 19:09

Sounds like he was tactless and inappropriate. Only you know the tone used. Some people are sarcastic and silly, maybe he was. Maybe he was lonely and saw you holding the sandwich and an opportunity to strike up what he thought was a jovial conversation. You think a 12/14 is big - maybe he didn't (i don't think it is). My dad is 76 and says the wrong thing often. I wouldn't have been that rude to someone older than me. I think you let yourself down. I don't know if i would have had the right words but i think i would have smiled but not responded or have said, ' you are tutting me but surely you know not to comment on a ladies age or anything to do with weight'. That would hopefully have given him food for though - pardon the pun! Im sorry you were upset though, i would have felt upset by it too as I'm self conscious about my weight

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/04/2017 19:13

Then he says "That's fattening. Definitely fattening."

See I'd have took that as a joke. But I'm that sort of person. I was getting a gift today in a chocolate shop, was offered a free chocolate whilst they sort the gift out I'd bought, me "oh don't, I'm fat enough already!". I actually am overweight. Blasted steroids. Only a little though according to the professionals that look after me.
I'd have probably replied "I know, and if you think that's bad you should see the Krispy kremes I'm about to buy, WITH a full fat coke". Wink

Even so, when he realised you weren't his usual 'receptive audience' he should have shut up refrained from commenting further. I dont think he would have said it to a man either, probably because he knew he'd get punched on the nose a similar reply.

Oly5 · 27/04/2017 19:17

What a rude arsehole he was. And dating his wife is as thin as the day they married shows that he believes woken should be skinny while men like him are allowed to get fat.
He's a dick OP and you dos the right thing calling him on it. He would not have spoken to a man like that
He was not "just making conversation".

Oly5 · 27/04/2017 19:18

Sorry for typos! Obviously I meant "saying" and "women"!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/04/2017 19:19

He wasn't commenting on the food on the shelf though was he? he was commenting on the falafel wrap in the OPs hand! Confused

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 27/04/2017 19:24

I'm inclined to believe the only witness. . . Another woman who had recently appeared in the aisle said i should calm down. Clearly the man was just trying to make conversation . . . . Tesco employee emerges, just walking by, and the woman informs him that I'm harassing an elderly gentleman

Bluntness100 · 27/04/2017 19:26

Tesco employee emerges, just walking by, and the woman informs him that I'm harassing an elderly gentleman

Out of curiousity just how elderly was the gentleman in question? Normally you have to be fairly elderly before someone calls you it to your face.

kaitlinktm · 27/04/2017 19:27

Witnesses can get the wrong end of the stick too though.

NotOneThingButAnother · 27/04/2017 19:29

I was at a wedding where an elderly man, lets say mid to late 70s, and his daughter were sat at our table, I was with teenage DD and another young woman about 19 and her mother, lovely family. The young woman had severe self esteem issues to the point where she wouldn't look anyone in the eye she was terribly shy and uncomfortable, finding the crowded event stressful. Weights varied widely around the table from mahoosive (me) to a stone or so overweight (this includes the young woman). Everyone was very jovial, pleasant enough.

Food was served, we'd been waiting all day and everyone was starving; we all went up (apart from elderly man), the buffet was cold meats, vegetables/salad and bread - nothing else. The man watched us all sit down (the young woman's mother was still queuing). She brought her knife and fork to her mouth and he immediately blurted out "YOU'RE NOT ON A DIET THEN?!! HA HA HA" - the girl turned crimson and he started to nudge everyone else, "she's not on a diet eh? Look at that, good appetite on 'er. I SAID YOU'RE NOT ON A DIET THEN?!". This went on until her mother came back and sat down, looking bewildered at the grim faces around the table, apart from the jovial old cove. It ruined the girl's evening, I was just waiting for him to start on me or DD but maybe he sensed it was a one trick pony.

I explained to his daughter later what he'd done and she said oh sorry he's drunk. The man in the supermarket didn't even have that excuse.

GardenGeek · 27/04/2017 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arealhumanbeing · 27/04/2017 19:33

He was being a cunt.

Obviously a random woman/flying monkey appeared to defend him! I mean of course she did! Grin

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