FUMING about this man's comments on my lunch at the supermarket!

[LunchRant]

Working from home today. Extremely stressed as I'm really behind on deadlines for things. Decided to pop out for some fresh air and lunch. Went to the big Tesco near me and was browsing the lunch aisle (meal deal sandwiches etc) when a guy just walks by and tuts. Then he says "That's fattening. Definitely fattening."

I have definitely went up a size recently due to not having time to do my usual exercise routine, crappy sleep, and snacking for energy while i'm up at midnight typing/working. But the madness will end by the end of May and I can focus on losing weight again. Not my priority right now.

So i immediately got angry. Told him that he'd best stay away from it then (It was a hummus, falafel wrap btw). He giggled. Still didn't budge. He said something like he's been losing the same battle with his stomach for years. But his wife is still as thin as the day they got married. Then advised me to "stay away from all that. Fresh air is all that you need."

I asked if that's all his wife ate, fresh air. And i asked him to come over and tell me what i should be eating then. I was quite arsey. "Come on. since you've got such an opinion on what i should eat. Come and choose for me."

Another woman who had recently appeared in the aisle said i should calm down. Clearly the man was just trying to make conversation. I told her he should have said hello then and commented on the rain like a normal person. Not comment on my calorie intake.

Then the man starts acting like a victim. "now, now, that's not what i meant. Just being friendly." Tesco employee emerges, just walking by, and the woman informs him that I'm harassing an elderly gentleman.

The employee looked a bit awkward. Asked if everything was okay. I just grumbled 'fuck this'. Put down the bottle of water i was holding, swapped it for a full fat bottle of irn bru and also got a packet of crisps. Childishly said a big 'Yum'. Then told the man "you should be ashamed of yourself." then went and paid.

15 minute walk home and I'm still reeling!

Yes i over reacted. Yes i am half a stone overweight in terms of BMI. Yes i'm still stuffing myself into size 12 clothes when i'm now a 14. And yes, i'm touchy about it.

But i am so pissed off that someone feels it's their right to comment on what someone else eats (especially when he was clearly overweight himself!)

And i'm also pissed off that the woman just passed it off as 'friendly chatter'.

I now don't think i can go back there for a few weeks as I'm so embarrassed. Can't even stomach eating this lunch now as i'm actually feeling guilty about eating something so 'fattening'. Arsehole.

Also can't find the motivation to continue with this work. An hour til DD finishes school. Was hoping i'd make some progress today. Nope!

I'm sorry you had to tolerate this shit OP. I reckon every woman alive has had a man comment on what they're eating at least ONCE in their life. As someone said on page one I think, men have this deep rooted idea that women are duty bound to be thin.

Whenever anything like this happens to me (stupid, sarcastic, trying-to-be-funny comments from men who think they're hilarious,) I ignore them.

These eejits do it for attention and to get a reaction, and as I said, they think they're hilarious. Ignoring them puts them in their place. When people do or say stuff like this, they do it for a reaction, and they can't BEAR to be ignored. So just do that next time.

I know several men who try (occasionally) to be funny, with some random person (usually a woman!) and if she ignores them, it really pisses them off. They say (when she's out of earshot,) 'miserable cow.' I say 'what, didn't she roll over laughing at your hilarious quip? Losing your touch are you?'

So ignoring this is the way to go. Don't even make eye contact. People HATE being ignored, especially attention seeking assholes like the man who hounded you.

As has been said, he would never have said this to a man. He would probably get a punch in the face if he did, or be told to fuck off.

What he said to you is right up there with 'smile luv, things could be worse!' Basically, a misogynistic twat who thinks women should do what men want and look how they want, so she looks/appears pleasing to him.

He said he was overweight.

He was just making conversation i think.

Yeah! he was overweight himself but he as a man thought it was okay to compaire a random womans eating/shape to his thin wife? the fuck the OP was UR!

He was incredibly rude. Don't care if he was lonely etc. Not surprising with social skills like that.

I would have been worse than you OP, the things I would probably say I would never put in writing

It's not a race to the bottom you know. [bmm]

LunchRant you are my hero! So what if you overreacted, it's got fuck all to do with anyone what you eat!

Years ago when I worked at a 'no frills' budget supermarket, an older man told me, 'you know, you'd be a bonny lass if you had longer hair'. I just looked at him like this 😐

Oh fgs, if OP had started the 'exchange' by saying what he did, she'd have been told 'you deserved to be shouted at,' and 'you were really rude,' etc. It's OBVIOUS that he was being unreasonable unless you don't believe the situation occurred as described here.

Nah, good for you.

Women shouldn't have to put up with this sexist shit.

By your own admission, you were "arsey", "childish" and "overreacted". So I think you have your answer.

There will always be people in the world who are arses or have poor social skills. You can't control them; you can only control your reaction. It's you who lost the afternoon.

You need to stop sweating the small stuff, seriously. Me too, tbh.

It could just have easily been a woman who said this to you - my grandmother regularly used to comment unfavourably on my weight and didn't understand why it was rude.

And btw - you can't be that stressed and behind or you would have battered on and not gone out for lunch!

Meh. Some old lad commented in big tesco he wanted to come to my house today because I had a bottle of gin in my trolley. I had a lovely chat with him about gin and tonic and him going to some gin tasting in Plymouth years ago. I didn't take offence or get arsey, I didn't really think beyond it was nice to have a conversation with another adult after a day working from home woth a toddler.

But Frouby, did he make any personal comments on your choice to buy gin and insinuate that you shouldn't have the gin because of his personal preferences on how a woman should look?

I can't believe how many people think this is okay.

What ferrisday said.

Sad times!

Frankly, women could do with being a lot more arsey, rather than less. I see these little occasions as being educational.

Some people just think its ok to make personal remarks. Which I think is pretty rude. I was in a Post Office queue a few years ago and some random bloke made a similar remark. I'm a bit fat, and he asked when the baby was due. I replied 'no baby, I'm just fat'.

Best to ignore them.

I think I'd have said are you talking to me a la Robert De Niro. I'd have told the interefering cow to "fuck off, how's that for making conversation and to take the food police twat with her".
I might have said "ooh that looks nice" if you were picking something but I'd never dream of telling you not to eat something even if you were 40 stone and 4ft10 tall.

Maybe you were the only person he spoke to that day.

And size 14 isn't fat. If someone said that to me I would think they meant how lucky I was that I could eat it and still have a nice figure.

He did comment (after I paused and smiled) that gin was mothers ruin. I replied that the only thing that ruins mothers is toddlers as I dragged my 3 year old out of the yoghurts.

One day we will all (if we are lucky) be old. We might be lonely. We might be a bit clumsy socially. A friendly conversation might be the only nice thing in our day.

Attitudes have moved on. Even now I listen to my 12 year old dd and her opinions and complete acceptance of things like gay rights and trans rights and think back to me at her age and how shocking a gay person would have been.

Was the old bloke pc? No. Should the OP have reacted aggressively? I don't think so. But I will probably be in the minority I know.

I don't sweat the small stuff tho. Someone's opinions on my lunch won't leave me raging.

Was making the point to him worth the negative impact and energy expense it had on you?

What gives him the right to discuss what the OP, a complete stranger to him, is buying? Would it be because she is female?

Hopefully the op was the only person he spoke to that day otherwise he'd be going around sticking his beak in commenting about someone else's size and what they should or shouldn't eat. Something that is none of his business.

It's rude, it's none of his business what you eat. I'm glad you set him straight!

Does it matter? He's no doubt gone home cowed and a bit upset. OP is FUMING. And all it was was a meddling clumsy comment. Do you not think life's just too short to upset old men for getting it wrong?

too touchy, move on 🙄

Massive over reaction by OP in my opinion

I think you overreacted a bit. Get some thicker skin and don't take things so personally.
Even better, if you don't like a conversation cut it off and move on.