To end 25 year old friendship over this comment

[nakedandconcerned]

Dh and I were out with another couple at the weekend who we have been friends with for over 25 years (since me and the other woman were pregnant with out first).

Was a lovely evening until the end when they asked who we were voting for in the next election. Myself and dh both said labour. Other couple said they were voting Tory and said that they thought we were stupid to even consider voting for corbyn. Both myself and dh were a bit at that but I tried to explain I work for the NHS and I don't like what the current government are doing and dh is heavily involved in unions so feels his heart belongs to labour despite their current leader.

Now I should add that when we met current couple we were from similar social-economic backgrounds. Man from other couple owns a business and over the last 15 years it has taken off and they now earn a lot more than us. This has never been a problem in the past except a few occasions when they have chosen restaurants that are out of my and dh's price range.

Back to the evening they went on to tell us that the reason they were better off than us is because they work harder than we do, and that we have easy life's because we have no 'drive'. This is completely not true, I might be a lowly nurse but Im always signing up for new training, courses and promotions despite doing my training 30 years ago. I find the comment that they are better off than us because they work harder as incredibly offensive and dismissive of other people's struggles. It kind of escalated into a bit of an argument at this point as my dh was very offended. We then said our goodbyes and made a swift exit.

The man has a bit of form for making arseholey comments. Last year he got very drunk and told dh that he didn't understand how anyone could be poor 'if you don't have money then don't spend any'.

Aibu to not want to speak to either of them again. I feel very offended.

I had friends of 20 years, like this. The husband said some horrible things about my DS who was only 6 at the time. I was livid, his wife ( my so called best friend) did nothing, just let him carry on. I picked up my coat and walked the 3 miles home. That was 4 years ago, and I haven't spoken to them since. Well rid!

Good grief. A right pair of dicks indeed. Terrible thing to say regardless of what you do for a living but for someone to have the audacity to suggest a nurse doesn't work hard!! Toxic people that you do not need in your life.

It was not really a discussion about politics , it sounds more personal . So if they can't keep politics away from the dinner table then don't bother with them . Nothing in politics or life is as black or white as they describe . It's not rich against poor either , because some rich people are huge employers and philanthropists , some are idiots and the same goes for everyone in between . You can have well off farmers and some that work for a pittance but love their life more . I personally hate this analogy of labour voters against conservative it's very devisive. Imo 🙂

It's one thing getting passionate about politics but to make such personal, obnoxious and crass comments is just plain rude and hurtful. Sounds like all their 'success' hasn't brought them much happiness!

I don't think you're unreasonable not to want to be friends with them anymore. If it were me i'd not bother getting in touch and if they got in touch with me, I'd probably let them know that I'll be turning down their invite because I'm feeling very hurt about the comments they made.

If they are good friends they will hopefully see the error of their ways and apologise. If not, then I really wouldn't bother with them anymore.

How utterly unpleasant they sound. Do not hesitate to drop them like a handful of cold cat sick.

I bet boris and his sister are having some heated dinner table discussions at the moment.but perhaps they just agree to disagree.

OP ditch them both. If she didn't speak up when her husband was being vile and stupid, then she's not worth the time either.

I think one should talk to friends about politics - if we all segregrated into little groups of like-minded people we'd be buggered but when it becomes insulting, forget it. OP, I'm glad you had an argument and your DH spoke up against this man's comments. What does his wife do? How much does he pay his staff? did he, like Donald Trump, get his seed money from family?

I'd have asked if he would do without "lowly" nurses. And whether they should be paid more/the govt should pay for their bursaries again etc/what he'd do about the shortages.

And ask if he'd do without care assistants who'll be wiping his bottom when he's old. Or will he have a "hard working" care assistant who earns a fortune and charges for every wipe.

Nothing to do with politics. Just to do with assholes.

Three subjects that are extremely bad form to discuss in a social situation:

Money
Politics
Religion

Reason: it nearly always becomes personal and end in tears.

It's not about how they vote, it's about them being dicks, YANBU OP.

I have friends who voted leave. Their vote, their choice. But I no longer speak to the acquaintance who said I should be hung for voting remain, and am almost NC with the relative who said all immigrants (i.e. my DH) should be kicked out of the country.

Don't have anything to do with them anymore. Ignore any texts, emails and calls. DELETE them from your life.

Uhm, nurses work extremely hard and contribute hugely to society!

They sound awful, I'd drop them.

What a pair of dicks...

I vote Tory, and voted brexit, but these twunts are so full of toxic brown bottom butter that they need to fuck right off.

Nurses are wonderful, you don't need these wankers.

Ditch them.

If wealth was related to hard work, then rural African women would all be millionaires

Anyone asks me how I vote, they get the same answer. "That's my business". Even my kids don't know.

That being said, your friends have put their politics before your friendship. I'd drop them faster than a hot potato. Life's too short. And yes, I lost a 28 year friendship over narky comments. Their loss.

Read on another politics thread about the funding for the NHS (from a nurse) that just funding the NHS and expecting everything to be free at the point of delivery is unreasonable. She wrote, along these lines:

We all expect crisis/life threatening injury care to be free and available in an emergency. The same for the elderly and the disabled, as a matter of course. Those are benchmarks for a civilised prosperous democracy.

Do we all all expect to receive treatment for our own wishes to be free? For example, tattoo removal, IVF and other fertility treatment? Sports injuries?

If we drive cars, should our car insurance policy contribute to the cost of medical care in the event of a road traffic accident?

If we need medical intervention because of our inability to resist cigarettes, drugs, alcohol or excess food consumption, should the tax payer shell out? Where do we draw the line?

What about conditions where medicine can provide a short term fix at a very high price? If a drug provides some help for a few months at a cost of £10,000 for three months, is it worth it? An experimental procedure that costs £1,000,000 for someone who has never worked and who is still drinking alcohol and smoking after the procedure, and who is over 60?

I know examples of all these, and while I struggle to make up my own mind where I sit, I do feel that we all need to consider where society should draw the line. It's not that I want to deny people the best care, it's the reality that the taxpayer (you and me both) needs to believe for fairness's sake that what we put in is not thrown down into a bottomless pit. With advances in medical science, there are endless opportunities to experiment in pursuit of progress, and to a degree the hard-nosed cost-benefit equation questions have to be asked.

Sorry, off topic, but I've been pondering this all day.

And well done to you for being a proud and hard working nurse who wants us all to have access to the NHS. It is a good job that some of us want to serve the public and are willing to be selfless in putting the needs of others ahead of possible higher incomes for themselves.

I work in education, I could take much higher pay from academy chains but stand by my convictions of LA maintained schools offering education for all and if public sector pay not screwing the system.

Ergh the worst of what lies at the heart of a lot of Tories right there. Bin them. Wankers.

I would also like to add regarding your friends, you will talk to them before you cut contact won't you, to let them know the cause? I have or rather had, a very long term best friend who no longer speaks to me, makes contact or will let me contact her. However I have no idea at all what I did to user her Been going on for four years. I can't even apologise as she won't accept any contact and I don't know what I have done!

Real, long-term friends, would have probably stopped the conversation before it became heated. And certainly would not have started to make odious comparisons.

It's a commonplace observation that people become more right-wing as they get older. These people have also become more ill-mannered. Bin without a second thought.

You've got a medal from me from sitting down and having a meal with a pair of Conservative voters.

I couldn't get past the amuse bouches.

You don't need buffoons like that in your life. Better you know the truth of how much misplaced disdain and pity they hold you in so it can set you free.

I am a left wing Christian socialist who thinks that Jeremy Corbyn has been shamefully treated by his own MPs. That said, I have many friends who are staunch Tories or Liberals [come to think of it can you be a staunch Liberal?] as well as many who are atheists, and with all them I have the same agreement; that we never discuss politics or religion and instead think and talk about the other things that matter to us: music, theatre, the arts, rugby, cricket, our families and children etc. And it works - we are too fond of each other to want to risk losing a friendship over things that don't matter. After Brexit [I am a Remainer] one of my friends started to have a go at me about my voting Remain and I simply asked him if he would rather have yet one more pointless argument or keep our friendship? We are still mates. That said, the OP's friends seem like a pair on whom you wouldn't piss even if they were on fire.

I clicked on this thinking what could be so bad as to fall out with friends of 25 years. But they are cunts of the highest order. Sack then off without a second thought. Did you never discuss politics with them before? I'm surprised. We have friends who are very wealthy but still don't vote tory because they actually care about people other than themselves . Conversely, ww have relatives who are poor but misguided and they do vote tory. There seems to be a great myth now about hard work, like the supposed Great American Dream, where people are being brainwashed into thinking that it's your own fault if you're poor and anyone can get rich if only they work hard enough, which simply isn't true. And the poor, jobless, disabled and migrants are scapegoats whilst we pay our taxes to subsidise benefits to people in full time work who aren't being paid a living wage by big, often tax-avoiding, corporations. So basically our taxes are funding their shareholders. By the way, I'm a nurse too. And tired all the bloody time when I'm not at work.

And to those who say politics doesn't matter and you shouldn't discus politics - politics is crucially important and impacts on every single area of life. And your politics say A LOT about what sort of person you are.

Annahibiscuits

"If wealth was related to hard work, then rural African women would all be millionaires"
Brilliant analogy. I'm going to remember that one, thanks.