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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have 50 minutes exactly to get this guy to ask me on a date

310 replies

Hopelessromantic1988 · 25/04/2017 15:24

What do I do?

He's been here a week in supply work. Instantly thought he fancied me as he always chose to sit by me. He would wear headphones when on his own but when I sat down immediately took them off and sat next to me. But he never ever spoke to me.

We both spent every lunch hour sat in silence, blushing the entire time and awkwardly avoiding eye contact. I'm the most extrovert person you can find but I can't even speak to him. He makes me too nervous.

I'm not completely sure he fancies me but I think he does.

He leaves work in 50 mins. I don't work in his department so not really appropriate for me to say goodbye as I've not even spoken to him.

What the hell do I do? . I promise I'm not 13!!! Grin

OP posts:
ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 25/04/2017 18:54

Is there an 'acceptable number' of mutual friends before you can add someone on FB? For example, is two okay? Just askin' Grin

Trills · 25/04/2017 18:58

Acceptable number of mutual friends before you add someone on FB:
zero - if you know them in real life you don't need to have mutual FB friends
infinity - if you have only seen them on FB and never met them - get some of your copious mutual friends to engineer you being in the same room

Trills · 25/04/2017 19:01

It's true that people add much more casually on LinkedIn - you never know who might come in handy.

OP has no LinkedIn though so will have to create one, add a bunch of people, and wait a little bit.

Lynnm63 · 25/04/2017 19:03

Too late now but you should have asked him out for a drink after work to celebrate the end of his week, that way you wouldn't have been asking him out on a date.

Ferrisday · 25/04/2017 19:07

LinkedIn is fine to add him
DO IT NOW!!

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 25/04/2017 19:12

Thank you trills, I've done it (we have spoken many times in real life but flirting is impossible because his Bambi eyes are rather distracting)

KellyBoo000 · 25/04/2017 19:17

Please add him on LinkedIn! It is literally exactly what it exists for - you met someone at work briefly, add them on LinkedIn, build your network. Just because you want to build a more personal network is neither here nor there Wink if he's interested it might help open up conversation, if he's not then he won't find it weird.

NoSquirrels · 25/04/2017 19:22

Oh good gravy, OP - are you for real?

The guy you think had the hots for you too but was too shy to say so lingered past his home time on his last day, then FINALLY spoke to you (he initiated contact, not you) and said how nice it was "working alongside you" and EVEN THEN you couldn't throw him an opening such as "yes, it'd be great to see you again" so he might have got a clue you were interested.

Why would he ask you out if you never gave him the appropriate opening to? Guys can be shy too, you know.

Honestly - set up LinkedIn, add him and a bunch of people, see what happens. Ask a mutual colleague for his email address (surely you could work it out if it's the same company?)

Life's too short not to take a chance.

Smellyoulateralligater · 25/04/2017 19:26

I bet he's on twitter.

indigox · 25/04/2017 19:30

Just add him on Linkedin, it's normal to add people you've worked with. If he thinks you're stalkerish who cares? You're never going to see him again.

SecretNortherner · 25/04/2017 19:38

Get your friend to ask his friend...

jennyfromtheblock1975 · 25/04/2017 20:25

FWIW whenever there is a story like this and everyone is saying "You should ask him out!" there is generally a reason why the guy hasn't made a move. Either he's already with someone, is ridiculously shy or just not that into you. If he can get a flat or a job, he can ask out a girl he likes.

But definitely add lots of people from LinkedIn and include him! As PP have said, it's not stalkerish that way and then the ball's in his court to keep up communication. If he doesn't you'll know he's not that bothered.

Reow · 25/04/2017 20:27

Get your friend to ask his friend

Grin
ToDuk · 25/04/2017 21:05

Just add him on linked in. It could lead anywhere!

MrsChopper · 25/04/2017 21:26

FS, this is the most frustrating thread ever.

Get a grip, OP. It's 2017, not the dark ages. You have got nothig to lose!

MrsChopper · 25/04/2017 21:26

Oh and Grin @ janice

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 25/04/2017 22:03

Oh, this has made me really sad Sad

Isthisusernamefree · 25/04/2017 22:16

1000% add him on LinkedIn!! Make a profile just for that. Send him a message. The worst that will happen is that he doesn't reply or says he's not interested.

Or it will all go well and you spend the rest of your life getting to see him naked.

I'd risk it!

You can always delete your account if it all goes tits up :)

GoldenFleck · 25/04/2017 22:30

omwords just ADD HIM ON LINKEDIN!

Adding him would not be 'serious stalker territory'!!. Linkedin is for connecting with professionals in a similar field. I have been added by people I've only spoken on the phone to/emailed once as you never know how useful a connection may be in the future. You could add a few other people first if you don't want it to appear as though you've created an account to add him but I really don't think it matters... it might actually help to have no other connections because that would (hopefully) be a hint that you like him.

I made a similar move 7 years ago and got my first boyfriend and we are still together now. It's scary to think I may have missed him. Point being is that you can't let potential romance like this pass you by when you have a great opportunity to connect.

joannegrady90 · 25/04/2017 22:33

OP I hope he knocks you back as this thread is frustrating and a stealth boast.

HateSummer · 25/04/2017 22:40

How is this thread a stealth boast? Confused. He didn't even ask her out, nor she him. It's just a pitiful, anticlimax of a thread. What's so boastful about that?! 😂

ohcraptoday · 26/04/2017 07:16

Wuss

MsStricty · 26/04/2017 08:03

OP, I stick by my question about your motive, because as much as you say you're looking for courage, that's not what's happening here, is it? There's nothing like spreading the load of a particular unconscious burden to make one feel temporarily better. Done it myself. What I think you're really doing is asking for help of a different kind, albeit indirectly. Please do consider therapy so you can reach out to people in more direct ways. All the best.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 26/04/2017 10:54

Jesus OP that's what LinkedIn is for! Making connections! I've just added a bunch of 'suggested' people for no other reason than to expand my network.

You really need to work on getting some confidence in this. Like I (and plenty of others) said, what's the worst that could happen? You ask him if he'd like to catch up over a drink and he says no? So what? You'll never see him again then.

Dozer · 26/04/2017 12:15

Add him and message him, not hard.