Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want to go to sleep in the dark?

98 replies

Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 07:14

This is beginning to driving a wedge between myself and my dp. He insists when he stays that he has the television on sleep timer so he can drift off with it on. After a long day, I like to be in darkness without any sounds or flashing lights. He is making me feel like I am not normal. I am, aren't I? I end up going into the tv-less spare room. If I am on my own, I put the TV on in the morning to listen to music and this livens me up and makes me happy as I put my makeup on and dry my hair. If dp is here, it's 'Good Morning Britain'. Hmm

OP posts:
youokayhun · 24/04/2017 07:15

No advice but my DP likes the tv or the lights on too, I HATE IT. So fee your pain!! X

Ifailed · 24/04/2017 07:15

He insists? LTB.

Janeinthemiddle · 24/04/2017 07:16

Ear plugs and sleep mask?

00100001 · 24/04/2017 07:16

Ugh this is why we have no TV in the bedroom. it's not good to "drift off" to TV. Does he have the sound on?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2017 07:20

This is your house , he stays over and insists on doing things differently that are pissing you off and disrupting your routine.

How long have you been seeing him?

Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 07:21

I have ear plugs but don't like the feel of a mask. He insists may be strong but he says he doesn't like the dark and has always done this all his life. He also snores like a train which is another reason why I ship out. Just woken up a while ago in darkness in the spare room. Lovely, but not what I want from a relationship.....just wondering how a compromise could be reached but we are poles apart on this one....

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 07:23

2 years. It's only really since he started staying over a lot more that it's started to affect me.

OP posts:
Fruitcocktail6 · 24/04/2017 07:24

YANBU, when we first met DP use to listen to music overnight Shock

AtSea1979 · 24/04/2017 07:25

How long have you been together? He stays over and your in spare room. Why does he stay over then? You might as well have a lovely evening then him go home. I think that's your compromise.

MiladyThesaurus · 24/04/2017 07:26

I have no idea why you decamp to the spare room in your own house because he insists that he doesn't like the dark (which does sound a bit like something a toddler would say).

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2017 07:29

I'd be resentful that , in my house, I was having to move rooms to suit someone else and their requirements.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 24/04/2017 07:32

Don't have him stay over is the answer I'd give.

DottyDonna · 24/04/2017 07:33

Oooooh my DP (now DH) did this too.

I just removed the TV from my bedroom one day, said it was broken and have refused to have one in my room since. Bedroom is for sleeping, not watching TV.

Ifailed · 24/04/2017 07:34

Has he also told you he doesn't like the washing machine, iron, hoover, cooker, mop & bucket?

TwoBlueFish · 24/04/2017 07:36

Get him a little resonate radio and headphones. If he wants some noise he can have it but he doesn't inflict it on you.

NerrSnerr · 24/04/2017 07:39

I do like the to on to go to sleep sometimes but I would never inflict it on someone else in their house! Can he put a telly in your spare room?

Didyoumeantobesorude1 · 24/04/2017 07:41

Don't marry him, it will only get worse. Especially the snoring.

BiggerBoatNeeded · 24/04/2017 07:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frouby · 24/04/2017 07:42

Dp used to like the tv on. I like it off. We compromise with it on until 10pm then if one of us wants to watch tv they come downstairs.

He also had a fucking annoying habit of turning the tv on when he woke up early. I solved that problem by throwing the remote out of the window one morning in w sleep deprived rage. He doesn't do that anymore.

Badgoushk · 24/04/2017 07:43

Why do you have a TV in your bedroom?

Crumbs1 · 24/04/2017 07:43

Completely reasonable. Bedrooms need to be completely dark form me - blackout curtain linings, no little red charger or standby lights and a cover over the smoke detector flickering light (not the whole smoke detector just the light). My husband used to charge phones etc in our bedroom but they are all now safely in the upper hall so he can check them when he wakes in the night.
Send him home until he can allow you to sleep or you'll end up resenting each other.

Believeitornot · 24/04/2017 07:44

Sounds like he didn't overcome his childhood fear.... he needs to grow up.

acornsandnuts · 24/04/2017 07:46

Just nope. If he stays over he decamps to the spare room. Not you.

If you stay at his house do you get your own way? I.e. Lights off and no tv? No thought not. He is wanting it all his way and it will set a precedent.

nursy1 · 24/04/2017 07:47

We had a TV in bedroom at one time but took it out because it was really interfering with our sleep patterns/ sex life. Would fall asleep with t on then wake up at 4am

IDoNotHaveTheFoggiest · 24/04/2017 07:47

Take the TV out completely or move it to the spare room