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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to want to go to sleep in the dark?

98 replies

Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 07:14

This is beginning to driving a wedge between myself and my dp. He insists when he stays that he has the television on sleep timer so he can drift off with it on. After a long day, I like to be in darkness without any sounds or flashing lights. He is making me feel like I am not normal. I am, aren't I? I end up going into the tv-less spare room. If I am on my own, I put the TV on in the morning to listen to music and this livens me up and makes me happy as I put my makeup on and dry my hair. If dp is here, it's 'Good Morning Britain'. Hmm

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 24/04/2017 07:47

I have never had a television in the bedroom.

He is being an uncompromising arse and by going to sleep in the spare room, you are pandering to him. It's your house-put your foot down!

Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 07:48

His home is 200 miles away...that's why he stays over. Until my divorce was over he stayed in local hotels but that became too expensive. He is lovely in lots of other ways....it's just these issues....

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/04/2017 07:52

He's wrong, and it's unfair on you if you can't sleep with that sort of background light/ noise. I had a boyfriend like this once - I told him if he needed the tv on then he could go downstairs and sleep on the sofa, but I wasn't having it on in the bedroom. Didn't last!

There are also supposed health issues related to not sleeping in the dark, with light and sound interference, so you're still right.

blankmind · 24/04/2017 07:53

Put the TV in the spare room and let him sleep in there.

Or make a tinfoil nightcap for each of you and give him this article and tell him you want to be EMF free at night Wink
www.electricsense.com/988/where-is-the-place-you-absolutely-must-start-if-you-want-to-protect-yourself-from-electromagnetic-radiation/

Bluntness100 · 24/04/2017 07:53

Remove the tv from the bedroom. I also couldn't stand that and I don't have a tv in the bedroom. None of our bedrooms do.

To be fair though I don't even like it on in the morning, I like silence, but my husband likes it on, I find chirpy BBC presenters irritating. 😂

rollonthesummer · 24/04/2017 07:53

Anyone that insisted they had to do things that meant I couldn't sleep in my own bed in my own house, is not being lovely.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 24/04/2017 07:54

sleepfoundation.org/sleep-news/lights-out-good-nights-sleep

blankmind · 24/04/2017 07:54

x-post with IDoNot. Grin

Seriously if there's no TV in your bedroom then there's no arguing about using it. Ditto phones, laptops ipads etc.

kingfisherblue33 · 24/04/2017 07:56

It's really bad for you to go to sleep to the TV all the time. Affects your quality of sleep.

Your house, your rules?

I'd try removing the TV from the bedroom and see what happens...

Frillyhorseyknickers · 24/04/2017 07:57

My DH is similar to your DP so he drifts off with iPad and earphones.

I would never allow a TV in the bedroom, it's not healthy and you don't need it. Take it out and tell him to watch iPad if he needs it.

TattyCat · 24/04/2017 07:57

Just remove the TV from the bedroom for heaven's sake! Problem solved.

blueskyinmarch · 24/04/2017 08:02

I won’t have a TV in the bedroom as i don’t think it is conducive to good sleep. If DH wants to watch something in bed he does so on his iPad and wear earphones. It is the way forward for you i think?

Original poster
Bigglassofwineplease · 24/04/2017 08:03

Thanks for the articles. Maybe I am the 'normal one'....

I don't want a TV in the spare room, it's not big enough....looks like my tv will have to move out....

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 24/04/2017 08:05

'Until my divorce was over he stayed in local hotels but that became too expensive. He is lovely in lots of other ways....it's just these issues....'

Except for bossing you around in your own home. Really, this 'he's lovely/great/a good dad . . . ' followed by being an uncompromising arse as ridiculous as . . . sleeping in the fucking spare room when your boyfriend comes over, or people trying to tell you how to enable such a rude person.

Give your head a wobble, if he were a houseguest the whole of MN would be telling you to street him.

You're not under obligation to enable him.

Get the TV out of the bedroom. Put it in the spare room.

RB68 · 24/04/2017 08:12

yup no tv in bedrooms its really unhealthy in my view

Fluffyears · 24/04/2017 08:13

This happens to me I'll climb into bed tired ready to go to sleep and DP will switch on telly. He gets Hmm look but he does turn it off before we settle in to sleep.

UrsulaPandress · 24/04/2017 08:16

No tv in bedrooms here.

Snorey, noisy breathing DH sleeps in another room now.

It's bliss.

ohtheholidays · 24/04/2017 08:16

No fuck that!

Before I met my DH I had to sleep with a small light in,but he likes to sleep in the dark,after a while of being together(he never forced me to,he didn't even ask me bless him)I tried sleeping in the dark and honestly I wished I'd tried it years ago.

I never sleep with a light on now and neither does our youngest DD9,I just wish I could convince the older 4 to sleep without the light on.

ohcraptoday · 24/04/2017 08:17

Take the to out of the bedroom. Problem solved.

MTBMummy · 24/04/2017 08:20

DP and I sleep in separate rooms, I'm always up early dealing with the kids, so really cannot function if I go to bed after 10pm, DP likes to stay up later, then sit and read in bed until midnight.

He also snores like a train, and I'm an exceptionally light sleeper.

Best thing I ever did was move into the spare room, been there for over 3 years and it's awesome.

Botanicbaby · 24/04/2017 08:23

YANBU he is wrong to 'insist'.

I couldn't be dealing with that and wouldn't be having him staying over he sounds childish and used to getting his own way.

SierraJensen · 24/04/2017 08:24

That's crazy and selfish. We've never had a TV in the bedroom. When I lived alone I did, but after DH and I moved in together or went. In the last 11 or so years I've genuinely not missed it once!

SuburbanRhonda · 24/04/2017 08:28

Google sleep hygiene.

If you carry on like this, you'll make yourself ill. He watches TV downstairs then comes to bed. That's your compromise.

flashheartscanoe · 24/04/2017 08:33

Surely he can compromise by watching a tablet with headphones? If he won't compromise then that's a problem.

SuburbanRhonda · 24/04/2017 08:34

A tablet gives out blue light - even worse for your sleep and impossible to ignore if you're sleeping next to it.