...to want to go to sleep in the dark?

[Bigglassofwineplease]

This is beginning to driving a wedge between myself and my dp. He insists when he stays that he has the television on sleep timer so he can drift off with it on. After a long day, I like to be in darkness without any sounds or flashing lights. He is making me feel like I am not normal. I am, aren't I? I end up going into the tv-less spare room. If I am on my own, I put the TV on in the morning to listen to music and this livens me up and makes me happy as I put my makeup on and dry my hair. If dp is here, it's 'Good Morning Britain'.

We have this problem too, so dh goes to sleep before me, then I turn it off and go to sleep myself.

Get him a sound pillow!
They're pillows you can plug into your phone and they play music that you can only hear when your heads on it! They're brilliant and feels like a normal pillow anddoesn't affect anyone else and means no uncomfortable headphones!

If he watches tv downstairs he often falls asleep, comes to bed at silly o'clock or I discover him with the telly on at 7am. I just don't think it's good for him and his health either as well as my sanity

I feel your pain. My boyfriend plays his PlayStation in bed. I normally go to bed first but don't fall asleep fast, he will come in and start playing it and insist I wear earplugs and an eyemask which I have just gone along with though it isn't the same as a quiet and peaceful room. I may actually say no now, as the replies on this thread had been pretty unanimous.

And I think game playing is worse than watching TV as with a game there is absolutely no chance of "drifting off"..

I've just been through this - I've needed tv for years to fall asleep due to anxiety & habit. I got sleep headphones that wrap around like a headband from amazon and plug that into my phone and watch/listen to Netflix as I fall asleep now, works like a charm. Now I barely use it, only as a crutch if I'm wound up but mostly just can go to sleep in the dark.

I often need the TV to sleep due to anxiety, other than that prefer it pitch black, I would also be happy to listen to the radio - I need the distraction not the light IYSWIM.

Sleeping in the dark is much better for your body/mind.

Dark sleep is good sleep. Natural rhythms here.

Personally, no, I couldn't do this, and no, I don't think Yabu. Darkness and silence help me sleep, I couldn't have a LTR with someone who wanted noise.

I think a lot of people on this thread have been v harsh. DH had a nervous breakdown a few years ago, and ended up in a psych ward. When he came out, he couldn't sleep in the dark either, as he used to wake up suddenly from nightmares, all disoriented. That didn't make him a child.

So we got one of those night lights you have for a children's room. Enough light that he didn't freak out at 3 am, and low enough light that I could sleep. Fair compromise.

I have a night light on - because I kept stubbing my toe when returning to bed if I'd been up to the loo at night. We've had it 10 years. We tuck it under the space near the bookcase. Just enough light to see but not too much to keep us awake.

I used to sleep with the TV on but it annoyed my DH so I swapped to music with headphones in. Problem then is you wake up tangled up in them!

Could he have a dim night light? Could either of you get used to sleeping with white noise on?

I have one of these: www2.meethue.com/en-gb/productdetail/philips-hue-iris
You can set a timer so it slowly dims the light over a period of time.

I would also be happy to listen to the radio - I need the distraction not the light IYSWIM.

I need the radio on to sleep. If it is silent I can't sleep as I start thinking.

Ooooh, this would do my head in. You go to bed to sleep, not watch telly. You need to lay ground rules down now OP, otherwise the relationship isn't going to go well. And he insists too. Sounds a bit bossy tbh. It's your house isn't it?

We have a telly in the bedroom btw, but we don't watch it often. It's an old 21" one that we had in the last decade, and it's useful on the rare occasional that one of us wants to watch something different, and there are already 2 things recording on the skybox. Yeah we watch too much telly.

And also, me or DH put it on when we're cleaning the bedroom. It's not on that often though, and never after we have gone to bed to sleep!

I think if you are together long-term, you will need separate rooms, but as someone said earlier in the thread, don't let him have it all his own way now. If you don't put your foot down with people (whoever it is; husband, in laws, mother, offspring, friend, anyone;) they will walk all over you and leave you angry and resentful.

I'm not going to bash your DP, or say LTB, or he is a child or anything, as he probably can't help the way he is, but that doesn't mean you should have to suffer because of it.

Wants to see you?! What other reason does he give for wanting light/TV, knowing its disruptive for you? Your house, your rules, IMO. I need silence and a dark room, dh is on shifts, so has the blackout up.

What about a lumie light? I have one where you can program a 30 min sunset. It starts like a normal bedside light and slowly turns itself down until it is totally off. It is relaxing and calm to fall asleep to.

I've never had a tv in my bedroom for this reason. Get rid of it, it's your house, move it somewhere else - problem solved

Ooop, a lumie light might be a good idea. He can see me for a bit then I will be relaxed knowing that the light will fade and of he needs noise, he can have headphones. Maybe I will get him to ship out whilst I stay in my lovely bedroom a couple of nights a week....so I can have my darkness. I'm slowly feeling more positive about this

I think he likes to see me for naughties too.... Again, I would prefer to be in the dark for that! I can pull whatever expressions I want without fear of scaring him 😱

I can still see my ex husbands expression when he was 'in the moment ' and it scarred me for life. Maybe I have issues too, away from the sleeping thing!

Tbh, what with the snoring and the ridiculous night light and noise business, I would tell him to sleep in the spare room.

I can't sleep without some noise or a dim light... if it's silent and pitch black I actually wake up. Sometimes I'll put a sleep timer on but otherwise I'll let it play away on a low volume and a dim setting all night... luckily DH knows I'm not lying and how hard I find it to sleep.

I hate it actually. If I ever stay over anywhere else I have real anxiety about just laying awake all night...

"Ironically,he is frustrated in the morning if it's too light and wants me to buy new black out blinds!"

I expect that's because he's still bloody TIRED because he hasn't had enough restful sleep while the bloody bastarding tv was still on!!