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AIBU?

To think i will call my boyfriend my partner if i bloody well want to?

200 replies

malificent7 · 23/04/2017 22:10

There is quite a nasty put down on mn which is disguised as a statement of fact.
If a woman is seeing a man but does not live with him she is told " he is not your partner... he is your boyfriend. "

Well my other half/ bit of stuff/ love of my life / darling boyfriend is my partner in crime. He is my rock.
We dont live together and we are very happy with this arrangement.
We dont have kids together, we hacd no plans to marry or have kids just yet/ if ever but we just get each other.

Did i mention that we have only ( shock horror) been together for 18 months? And yet we always introduce each other as partners.

Many people who are married, live together and have kids are not partners if they are not in live.

Aibu to think that no outsiders can tell you what to call your dp?

OP posts:

Report

BlondeBecky1983 · 23/04/2017 22:22

Agree chicken!

DoJo · 23/04/2017 22:23

Yabu: if you have neither joint home or finances he's a bf

By what official definition?

Zoflorabore · 23/04/2017 22:23

Sorry op but I absolutely hate the word "partner" almost as much as I hate being referred to as a "bird" which I heard my fiancé call me today, we still aren't talking

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 22:24

I see a partner as someone you're all but married to.

So living together and everything that it entails.

Otherwise, what exactly is a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Surely that's what you call someone you're dating but not living with?

Imaginingdragonsagain · 23/04/2017 22:24

Surely it's just semantics. Call it what you want, not up to anyone else to comment.

olderthanyouthink · 23/04/2017 22:25

I cringe when young people/teens use "partner" to sound more grown up.

Boy/Girlfriend sounds a bit young and not that serious to me though. Like my cousins who bought a flat or had a baby with someone who in my head is now their partner not just a girlfriend.

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 22:25

Zoflora, insist on calling him a worm every time he refers to you as a bird

ImperialBlether · 23/04/2017 22:25

'Partner' implies there's some legal connection; this is usually a shared bank account, shared mortgage etc. If there's nothing between you legally and financially more than there would be between you and another friend, I think he's a boyfriend.

MidnightAura · 23/04/2017 22:27

I had this from my family right up until DH and I got engaged. Up until then (a relationship of 8 years) people (family) always said boyfriend. Drove me mad. Boyfriend didn't feel right as we were in our twenties!

If people can refer to their partners as Husbands and themselves as wife's when they aren't married and that's acceptable, I don't see why you can't use the term partner.

AgathaMystery · 23/04/2017 22:27

Ugh. 'Partner' is the most awful term ever. Boyfriend or husband will do, surely.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 23/04/2017 22:29

I actually don't know anyone in real life who calls their significant others their "partners." They all say boyfriend/girlfriend. Gay couples, lesbian couples, straight couples-all boyfriend/girlfriend. If they aren't married.

If someone told me about their "partner" I would assume business or crime.

TheHiphopopotamus · 23/04/2017 22:29

I also hate the term partner.

But to me the word implies a couple who are more or less married in all but name. So they live together, share finances etc. I wouldn't call someone I didn't live with 'partner', they'd be boyfriend.

But s'up to you in the end.

cherish123 · 23/04/2017 22:31

Partner is a bit twee - may imply same sex. I would say boyfriend but it is your choice.

f83mx · 23/04/2017 22:31

You can use whatever term you want- I personally don't like partner so have been with my 'boyfriend' (own house, kids, share finances - blah blah blah) for 13 years - works for me. Do what you like!

Zoflorabore · 23/04/2017 22:32

Worra haha I like it!

He is a worm today, I was cringing hearing him say it ( to a newish friend of his who's horrible vocabulary includes the word "bird" ) they're both 40 fgs.

KoolKoala07 · 23/04/2017 22:32

I think partner after 18 months, living together or not is perfectly acceptable. I hate it when someone has been together 2 weeks and says partner, especially when it's all over after another 2 weeks. I called Dh partner pre marriage because I felt like a teenager calling him boyfriend.

littlefrog3 · 23/04/2017 22:32

You have the right to be pissed off OP, but like many posters on this thread, I hate the term 'partner' too. It agree that it does imply a business partner. 'Boyfriend' sounds more romantic; though it is odd (to me) when a woman in her 50's calls the man in her life her 'boyfriend.'

IloveBanff · 23/04/2017 22:32

What has crime got to do with your relationship? Why phrase it like that?

HeddaGarbled · 23/04/2017 22:33

I think it's when women post stuff like I've been with my partner for 2 weeks (exaggerating obviously) and I'm devastated that he's putting his mum, child, ex, best mate ahead of me.

It's a subtle crossover from dating to being "partners" and different timelines and milestones for everyone but I have read posts where it's been obvious that the OP has run way ahead of the actual stage of the relationship in her head.

Viviennemary · 23/04/2017 22:34

I think partner is a bit of a daft expression anyway. But you are free to call him whatever you like. And a partner is a person you dance with or maybe even play bridge with. Traditionally speaking.

dinosaursandtea · 23/04/2017 22:35

You do you, OP! You sound really happy, I'm glad. Everyone whining about it being a twee word can fuck off - as a queer woman, I'm very glad I have a gender neutral option to use when I'm in a situation where I'm not sure if it's safe to be out.

5OBalesofHay · 23/04/2017 22:35

What crimes do you comit?

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Chavelita · 23/04/2017 22:37

Yanbu. Boyfriend is cringeworthy in any relationship where said 'boy' is over about 20 and suggests teenagers snogging and getting their braces locked together in the back row of the cinema. People should move from 'bloke I'm seeing' to 'partner'. Or 'bloke I was seeing that I ditched', obviously.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 23/04/2017 22:38

Partner is a a daft expression, it implies a legal or business associate. It's used when people don't want to admit to not being married and refuse to use boyfriend/girlfriend.

If not engaged, then the correct term is BF/GF, then when engaged fiancé/fiancée and then husband/wife. I don't think financial or living arrangements change that.

askmenothing · 23/04/2017 22:41

I use partner because we're both in our 50's and boyfriend/girlfriend would sound ridiculous (and manfriend/ladyfriend even worse!).

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