To think i will call my boyfriend my partner if i bloody well want to?

[malificent7]

There is quite a nasty put down on mn which is disguised as a statement of fact.
If a woman is seeing a man but does not live with him she is told " he is not your partner... he is your boyfriend. "

Well my other half/ bit of stuff/ love of my life / darling boyfriend is my partner in crime. He is my rock.
We dont live together and we are very happy with this arrangement.
We dont have kids together, we hacd no plans to marry or have kids just yet/ if ever but we just get each other.

Did i mention that we have only ( shock horror) been together for 18 months? And yet we always introduce each other as partners.

Many people who are married, live together and have kids are not partners if they are not in live.

Aibu to think that no outsiders can tell you what to call your dp?

[Epipgab]

It's also confusing when people say they are going out with a "girlfriend" but they just mean a female friend

[FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue]

Haha

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Master' does sound hilarious though! DP recalls being called that when at the doctor as a child

Long as his surname wasn't Bates. Boom Tish.

[Meekonsandwich]

I would call a long term romantic interest a partner because saying "boyfriend or girlfriend" after the age of 20 is weird lol they're not boys and girls! You don't see 50 year olds with their "boyfriends and girlfriends" if they're not married!

Also having partners of different genders just makes it easier, one word, people don't get to judge!
Also with all the transphobia here, they might not fit the traditional girl/boyfriend wording.

[BertrandRussell]

Get them to change it back, roomster. The sooner all women are either no unearned title at all or Ms the better.
< gets out bingo card.waits>

[FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue]

Roomster101 I guess that's fine. 'Master' does sound hilarious though! DP recalls being called that when at the doctor as a child...

[Roomster101]

I've used 'Ms' for my LO who's 6 months old when I registered her at the GP and much to my dismay it was changed to 'Miss'.

I think that they have started to use "miss" for female children though. It seems okay if they are also using "master" for male children.

[BertrandRussell]

"Partner in crime" is a bit "You don't have to be mad to work here but it helps" isn't it? "Not three bad!"

[FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue]

YetAnotherSpartacus I always make a point of using 'Ms'.

I've used 'Ms' for my LO who's 6 months old when I registered her at the GP and much to my dismay it was changed to 'Miss'.

[C0RA]

Call him want you want.

But if you use words to mean something different from most other people, don't be surprised when others get confused or make incorrect assumptions about you.

Personally I prefer the term " gentleman caller "

[daisychain01]

There are some utterly twattish comments on this thread

I feel like setting my iPad on fire

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[BertrandRussell]

"Years ago when a woman insisted on calling herself ms it was because her previous relationship history was a bit of a mess and she was trying to cover it up"

Utter, utter bollocks.

[BackInBlack78]

I referred to mine as my partner even though we didn't live together or share finances... at 38 & 39 years of age I felt boyfriend and girlfriend sounded childish!

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Years ago when a woman insisted on calling herself ms it was because her previous relationship history was a bit of a mess and she was trying to cover it up

Really? I was inspired by feminist teachers in the 70s who used Ms because they didn't want people to make assumptions about their commitment to working because they were married, or didn't want to be a Miss when men they worked with were not 'Master'. Many other women were the same. Relationship history had nothing to do with it.

[Roomster101]

Roomster they were wrong then. Most straight people got married if it was a serious relationship. Lesbian and gay people couldn't do that. Wife and Husband meant opposite sex partners. Gay and lesbian people had no term for long term serious relationship, so they made partner up.

I'm talking about the 80s not the 50s/60s. Straight people didn't necessarily get married in the 80s if they were in a serious relationship. Many lived together but in my experience, they didn't usually say "partner".
Anyway, I didn't discuss whether they were right or wrong. I am just stating what people's perceptions were if someone said "partner" in the 80s. The point is there is no strict definition and the word means different things to different people and it has changed over time so it's pretty laughable that anyone thinks they can "tell" someone that they do or don't have a partner.

[daisychain01]

Years ago when a woman insisted on calling herself ms it was because her previous relationship history was a bit of a mess and she was trying to cover it up

Right.....so now people are not only obliged to enter a qualifying period before they are able to use an approved label, but must now justify a classification because of facts about their relationship. How very dare the woman insist on using the title and cover up those facts.

She should have typed it up and stuck it on the notice board in the coffee area, so all the nosey parkers at work could comb through the gory details and entertain themselves for hours gossiping.

[Willyoujustbequiet]

I actually prefer boyfriend but each to their own. Call him what you like.

[FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue]

Lol, the 1950s called asking for their rulebook back. I use 'partner' and 'boyfriend' interchangeably (we're married living together but I don't like the term 'husband'). I think I use 'partner' if I mention him at work, I'm sure people that don't know us assume we're a lesbian couple.
If he's present, I might say 'partner in crime', 'other half', 'better half', 'life companion' or other more cringeworthy alternatives just to annoy him.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

Partner was used in the 70s for those who didn't marry in the context of new social mores. It was also used by gay and lesbian people, at least in places where homosexuality was decriminalised. As I recall, gay marriage only became a thing in the 90s or 00s and many old timers are still perplexed that younger ones want to be so conventional!

[brasty]

Roomster they were wrong then. Most straight people got married if it was a serious relationship. Lesbian and gay people couldn't do that. Wife and Husband meant opposite sex partners. Gay and lesbian people had no term for long term serious relationship, so they made partner up.

[Roomster101]

Roomster They weren't trying to keep quiet about it. They could not get married, but were living as if married.

brasty. Most heterosexual people I knew would still say boyfriend/girlfriend even if living together. I know I did. Anyway, I am just saying what many people thought when they heard the term "partner".

[FrenchLavender]

My partner and i have been together almost 10 years. We own property together and have a three month old baby. I do not believe in marriage and will never marry, or we'd have done it by now. We're thirty-flipping two. He is NOT my 'boyfriend' fgs. I often say 'other half', which feels true, but it's a bit informal - when calling the bank etc, only partner will do!

Well of course in those circumstances it's perfectly right and appropriate to call him your partner and I'm not sure what else you could call him. It used to be 'common law husband' but partner is just the modern day, less clunky version of that.

But your relationship fulfils all the criteria people would expect of a life partnership. It ticks every box, not just one, or two. your decision to call him your partner is based on a solid foundation, not just some romantic idea that you would one day like it to tick all the boxes. That's the difference.

I agree with what FriendTill said, as soon as many young women buy into the idea of a partner rather than a relatively new boyfriend they seem incapable of seeing that if he's an abusive arse then it's no big deal to LTB because they are not tied to him in any way whatsoever and haven't even known him that long.

[brasty]

Roomster They weren't trying to keep quiet about it. They could not get married, but were living as if married.

[StoatofDisarray]

I'm with you on this, OP: some people seem to actively dislike it and get quite nasty about it for no good reason I can see.

I have been with my partner for over 30 years, and I wish there was a less formal term to describe our relationship than "partners": "life partner" and "S.O." sound so twee, "boyfriend" is a bit juvenile. Gotta say I loathe "partners in crime" too though...

We intend to get married at some point, but even afterwards, I would prefer partner to husband.