To think i will call my boyfriend my partner if i bloody well want to?

[malificent7]

There is quite a nasty put down on mn which is disguised as a statement of fact.
If a woman is seeing a man but does not live with him she is told " he is not your partner... he is your boyfriend. "

Well my other half/ bit of stuff/ love of my life / darling boyfriend is my partner in crime. He is my rock.
We dont live together and we are very happy with this arrangement.
We dont have kids together, we hacd no plans to marry or have kids just yet/ if ever but we just get each other.

Did i mention that we have only ( shock horror) been together for 18 months? And yet we always introduce each other as partners.

Many people who are married, live together and have kids are not partners if they are not in live.

Aibu to think that no outsiders can tell you what to call your dp?

[RainbowPastel]

Partner is awful it sound so clinical.

[MongerTruffle]

gabsdot

Many married couples don't have joint finances.

[expatinscotland]

No one cares!

[newbian]

I don't like the word partner and I always used boyfriend/fiance and now husband.

To me it should imply a long-term commitment but then you have couples who move in together after the third date saying "This is my partner" because to others it just means cohabitation.

I'll use whatever term the person asks me to and unless it's a close friend the less I know about their detailed domestic situation the better.

[Mulberry72]

Partner in crime makes my teeth itch!

Call him whatever you want, who cares what anyone else thinks?!

[Babbaganush]

If someone describes their significant other on here as their partner I assume that they are living together in the same household and are in a long term committed relationship - not necessarily sharing all finances but having some shared financial arrangements ,(mortgage, tenancy etc)
I do find it strange when some describe someone they have been seeing for a short length of time and don't live with as "partner", to me that is still boyfriend / girlfriend.

[JoanRamone]

I stopped calling DH my boyfriend when I was pregnant. It wasn't a particularly conscious decision but it started to feel inaccurate- he wasn't just my boyfriend; we had now made a lifelong commitment to each other and I felt a bit silly referring to my boyfriend to HCPs etc.

When we got engaged I don't think I ever referred to him as my fiance as again it just didn't feel right- we were partners already and fiance would have felt like a step backwards as we already lived together and had a child.

I'm not denying that this is all to do with societal expectations etc but I like that I can now say "husband", because that to me signifies being really committed and in a permanent relationship and that's how we feel.

[sparkleandsunshine]

What a load of rubbish, call him whatever you like, it's your relationship, your life and everyone else can shove it

[ElinoristhenewEnid]

Using the term partner is as bad as a woman using the title ms. Something to hide!

[Notso]

I hate partner. It's impersonal and ambiguous.

[ProudBadMum]

Something to hide? Oh like what? The sex of the partner?

[DancingLedge]

I use Ms.
Perhaps you'd be kind enough to let me know what I'm hiding, as I've clearly hidden it from myself, and am genuinely intrigued.
Thank you.

[ElinoristhenewEnid]

Years ago when a woman insisted on calling herself ms it was because her previous relationship history was a bit of a mess and she was trying to cover it up. This has stuck with me.

I have had the same with the term partner - not quite sure where this relationship is going or whether weshould/will be together long term

A sort of write and say nothing situation.

I am sure others will disagree but this is my reaction!

[Patienceisvirtuous]

I refer to my two cats as partners in crime 😳

[Elefant1]

I think we need a new word for someone you are with when you are too old for BF/GF to sound right. I have been with BF/DP for 5 years but we don't live together and are in our 40s/50s, BF sounds silly but I don't like partner either, I don't know what to call him. However he called me "her indoors" the other day, that might deserve an AIBU in its own right!

[Cantseethewoods]

I think Ms used to be mainly used by divorcees, but now I'd say its the default.

[Beardsareweird]

I hate 'partner' probably because it seems to be a word that describes a person in an unemotional way and also as a Primary teacher who currently has a Y2 class, I associate it with telling children to 'line up with your partner'.

[DancingLedge]

Thank you for replying.
ThenElinor you are simply misjudging many people; I am married, but fail to see why that should define me to people I meet.

As for relationship history, mine happens to be more vanilla than many, no mess involved ,but in any case I don't given a bollocks what anyone else thinks.

[KayTee87]

You can of course call him what you like, doesn't mean other people have to agree.

Below from Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge )
A domestic partnership is an interpersonal relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are not married (to each other or to anyone else). The term is not used consistently, which results in some inter-jurisdictional confusion

[weeblueberry]

I think if this thread proves anything it's that folk have their own idea of what the terms mean based on absolutely nothing based in reality....so do whatever you like.

People hate the word partner. People hate boyfriend. So yeah basically whatever you use someone's going to find it 'cringy' or 'old fashioned' or 'inappropriate'.

So it seems like we all just need to use whatever the hell we want and accept you're pissing someone off.

[allwornout0]

The word Partner always sounds like it's your business partner.
Having known somebody who was once talking about their business partner and finding out that people were automatically assuming they were talking about a boyfriend, showed just how confusing that word can sometimes be.

[PolynesianGirl]

I have to laugh sometimes at how MN seems to have some very clear cut definition of what a 'real' partner is (and otherwise said guy is only your boyfriend, implying not important, no feelings as strong as etc)

So apparently you have be together for more than 18 months at least (forget about people who get married before the 18 months mark - they clearly are bonkers). You need to live together (being together but living apart does NOT exist nor is it a basis for a relationship). You need to share 'stuff' incl finances (lets forget that quite a few couple do NOT share finances, even when they are married. Just see the numerous posts of married women having to ask for money when they go on ML).

In effect a very outdated view of what a couple is, very traditional.

[KinkyAfro]

I've been with my partner for 10 years, we don't own a house together or have joint finances. Doesn't mean he's not my partner