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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say she has brought this on herself?

299 replies

GreenHairDontCare · 23/04/2017 21:52

Dd is 13. A couple of months ago at great expense I let her have the bottom half of her hair bleached blonde. It looked lovely.

Last week she phoned me from her friend's and said she was putting a wash out green dye on it. I told her not to as it would stain the blonde.

She did it anyway. She has spent the last week washing it with dandruff shampoo, baby shampoo, washing up liquid and today as a last try we did a vitamin c powder twice.

Somewhat predictably she still has bright green hair.

She goes back to school tomorrow. They are VERY strict. Natural hair colours only. She will likely be sent home. She is now (at nearly ten pm) having a screaming fit about it. I've told her that if they send her home I'll be marching her straight to the hairdressers to get it cut short. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to her apparently.

I'm leaving dh to deal with her. As far as I'm concerned this is her problem to sort out, I told her not to do it and told her it wouldn't wash out.

AIBU?

And does anyone have any suggestions, other than bleach which I'm trying to avoid?

OP posts:

frazzledbutcalm · 24/04/2017 09:09

Haven't rtft.... hairdresser friend told me to put tomato ketchup on ...

Never had to try it but that was the advice.
Hope everything's ok.

Trills · 24/04/2017 09:10

not 'taking care of expensive things'.

That's a good way of describing it.

I also think it's important that you did tell her WHY she shouldn't dye it green. You didn't just say "don't do that" like Aunt Izzy in What Katy Did, you explained that it would stain and not come out. And that's exactly what has happened.

WhatThePuck · 24/04/2017 09:12

I don't think the OP needs flaming for spending her own money. I would never but each to their own.
I think you need to explain the options to your daughter such as dyeing it back and possibly her paying you back in instalments or getting it cut.

HKittyCat · 24/04/2017 09:22

She's 13, she's at an age where she's experimenting and doesn't nessecarily think of consequences, I was exactly the same and tried to bleach my own hair at 14 and had to go around with a ginger bob for the best part of a year. On the colour wheel red is the opposite of green, so I suggest getting a strawberry blonde dye so the red undertones cancel out the green and slapping it on the green bits(do a strand test obviously) that should neutralise the green a bit. It probably won't bring the blonde back exactly but using a dye with reddish tones is the only way to neutralise the green.

I've had mint green hair before (on purpose i'm ashamed to say) and using dyes with red undertones was the only way to fix it.
Good luck!

Runny · 24/04/2017 09:25

This is what 13 year olds do. I was about that age when I started dying my hair. I remember dying the front of my hair purple. This was the 90's and my school didn't care.

bobdylannumber1 · 24/04/2017 09:29

No help to you just reminded me, My son was 16 bleached his hair blonde very blonde then while later he put red in it it turned out bright pink he went round for ages with the pink hair he didn't care I didn't care was in summer holidays n sorted by going back to school my sil has family group photo in her house with him with his pink hair and always makes me smile at his individuality, he's now got shaved head and a lovely girlfriend, I used to have a mullet and used to cut it myself I was about 18 19 though I looked lovely I'm sure.

TrickyD · 24/04/2017 09:35

Lorelei

MusicToMyEars800 · 24/04/2017 09:35

Cannot believe ppl are judging you for spending your own money on your own 13yo's hair. So what. No one else's business, unless op stole or embezzled it. And how does it help her now to tut tut at her? Personally I wouldn't, but so what?

Original poster

GreenHairDontCare · 24/04/2017 09:36

Sorry, was on the school run.

Ok so we tried the sock and she hated it. So she's just put it in a plait and will hope for the best. It's actually quite a lot lighter in the daylight, sort of a minty colour.

I'm going to Tesco today and will get some strawberry blonde semi permanent, and cross my fingers.

It's actually her birthday today, so I am going back into nice mum mode . She's apologised for her tantrum.

OP posts:

Original poster

GreenHairDontCare · 24/04/2017 09:38

Meant to say thanks so much for all the advice.

OP posts:

MusicToMyEars800 · 24/04/2017 09:41

AnArrowToTheKnee I get a very nice wash, cut and blow dry for £26 at my hairdressers, just ask for a graduate to do it, if you have someone more senior it costs more, I once needed a haircut desperately the only available hairdresser was a senior and it cost me £55
spare a thought for me everyone, I dread these days and I have 2 dds that are 2 years apart in age < rocks in the corner >

blueskyinmarch · 24/04/2017 09:41

The joys of teenage girls! I am glad things are calmer this morning and happy birthday to your DD.

My DD1 managed to turn her hair sort of tartan when she was around 14 through repeated use of different box colours. I had to take her to get it all fixed at the hairdressers. Surely weird hair mishaps is a rite of passage at that age?

TheFirstMrsDV · 24/04/2017 09:42

I didn't even get my hair cut at that age. I looked like a tramp.
A year later I was dying it and to this day I am on the obsessed side of interested in clothes and hair and beauty.

If its any comfort to childhood bleachers and dyers on here (or parents of them) I used to be a hairdresser. I cannot tell you the amount of adults who think that chucking a bit of peroxide and powder bleach on their head will give them golden tresses.
It doesn't.
It gives you patchy orange ones that tend to snap off.

She is only 13 and she wanted to look different. Thank God for kids who want to look different.

MusicToMyEars800 · 24/04/2017 09:43

OP, happy birthday to your dd, it's nice she's apologised and it's not as bad as it first seemed, hopefully the reds in the dye will counteract the green.

MusicToMyEars800 · 24/04/2017 09:46

I once did a temporary hair dye that was supposed to be red, apparently not my hair ended up being a very odd bright copper red colour, needless to say I spent 2 weeks with my hood u when I went out, it took what seemed like a lifetime to eventually wash out... oh reminiscing about those teenage days of crazy hair, clothing and make up experiments

Doublemint · 24/04/2017 09:48

Aw bless her, happy birthday OPs DD!

Will the strawberry blonde work?! I hope it does, and she pays you back for it!

KathyBeale · 24/04/2017 09:49

I've not RTFT but washing up liquid fades colour, doesn't it?

Also I'd cut it. If her hair is long now and the colour is only halfway, it's not exactly going to be short. And it'll be in lovely condition afterwards.

But glad she was ok this morning.

Nanny0gg · 24/04/2017 09:54

I think you're taking a risk not getting it sorted professionally.

You could end up making it worse, or at best, having no effect. Hairdressers have products to sort out this sort of problem.

And make her pay for it.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 24/04/2017 09:56

Hopefully it will have served as an important lesson that mum does know what she is talking about .

Some of these replies are so shitty it's unreal. None of your business if the OP chose to spend £80 on her daughters hair. None of your business if she lets her 13 year old dye her hair. That's the age I started dying mine.

I have the same hair colour and length (minus the green), for all the replies saying put it in a bun, that wouldn't have worked. I put mine in a bun sometimes and I definitely have dark hair with a blonde bun, it's very obvious. I also feel fortunate that mine only cost £60 the first time (including toner and either straightening or curling) and £50 after to get the ends redone and restyled.

SoupDragon · 24/04/2017 10:03

Why are people still suggesting the OP tries things she says in her first post that they've already tried with no success?

FlyingElbows · 24/04/2017 10:05

By the time you've spent a fortune making up yourself with box dyes you'd be cheaper (and quicker) just taking her to the hairdresser. There's a reason professional hairdressers exist and it'll be far from the first time they've fixed a bodged home job! Just cut your local losses and have it fixed properly, your daughter is also less likely to throw a toddler strop in the hairdresser.

SoupDragon · 24/04/2017 10:05

Glad your DD was calmer this morning :)

This has reminded me that I need to go put something over my accidental orange "Fox red" hair...

Oldraver · 24/04/2017 10:13

I went to school that was very relaxed, I dont think they would of blinked if someone turned up with green hair...I despair of the draconian school rules of today. I thought we had moved on and a bit of individuality is to be embraced...

AwaywiththePixies27 · 24/04/2017 10:18

My DD is 11 and my ex has been moaning all fucking week because he's had to fork out to get her hair sorted with extensions. But you see that's what you get when you take her to a hairdressers not specialised in afro hair and he tells them to 'cut it short' how I'm not on demand for murder I don't know.

I dont judge you for spending your own money on her OP. We're forever forking out for DDs hair but I haven't had my own hair cut in years!

P.s similar happened to my friend a couple of months ago and I'm afraid it did take a professional job from the hairdressers to fix it before she had work the next day!

MusicToMyEars800 · 24/04/2017 10:26

Oldraver oh I know, my school were very laid back about hair, uniform etc but these days the rules are never ending, and I do despair at them all.

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