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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked if the lady had children with her in parent and child space?

220 replies

CoffeeCoffeeCoffeeCat · 23/04/2017 11:05

So I know I probably was being unreasonable (pregnant, hormonal, toddler playing up royally that day!) but I just wondered how long I needed to feel mortified for.
Waiting to pull into a parent and child space but due to layout of car park other car got there first. Lady got out, locked car, started walking away. I couldn't see any child or car seat in the car from my view, so pressumed she was doing my massive bug bear of using P&C space with no child. So I wound down my window to call her out on it.
Coffe "Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"
Lady "What?"
Coffee "It's a parent and child parking space for people with children!"
Lady"Of course I've got a child with me"
Coffe (hands shooting up to mouth in dismay) "have you? Oh I'm so sorry."
Lady (extremely cross) "don't you judge me, how dare you"
Coffee "I am sorry, you must hate it when people park in these spaces without kids too tho? I didn't realise"
Lady-storms off sending me evils.

I wasn't judging her and unsure how she thought I was, just when she locked the car and went to walk off without getting a child out, it looks like you dont have a kid with you surely! She was going to get a trolley which was obviously fine, and I won't be questioning anyone about their accompanying child status again, but it was a fair enough assumption no?? And I wasn't agressive about it at all!
Had to do my shop in Sainsbury's instead of Aldi as that's where she headed, and I was too miserable/embarrassed to bump into her.
Small local area and now living in fear of bumping into her Confused
How unreasonable was I?!

OP posts:
Cammysmoma · 23/04/2017 11:08

It probably is unreasonable but I would bloody hate this, I'd be raging and I would have said something too!! Ignorant Bitch

Cammysmoma · 23/04/2017 11:09

P.s she obviously didn't have a child with her either

ProudBadMum · 23/04/2017 11:09

I struggle to give a shite tbh. I never understood the rage they cause on Mn. Yet to see any of it in RL

PeaFaceMcgee · 23/04/2017 11:10

No, you weren't very reasonable but what's done is done. No point torturing yourself over it x

coolaschmoola · 23/04/2017 11:11

You asked because you didn't see a child. Which was reasonable.

She did have a child. Fine.

You were polite - she was unnecessarily arsey.

Don't worry about it.

Mumteedum · 23/04/2017 11:11

When you questioned her, what did you hope the outcome would be? She'd realise she'd inadvertently taken a P and c space and she'd move for you? Unlikely.

I think you were bold to question her but then you don't sound the type to cope with confrontation. That's a shame you're left feeling worried about it. Forget it and move on.

PeaFaceMcgee · 23/04/2017 11:11

I think there was a child in the car Cammy?

coolaschmoola · 23/04/2017 11:12

I read it as she went to get a trolley to put the child in - locking the car for safety. I used to do this as it was easier.

TaliDiNozzo · 23/04/2017 11:12

Oh dear. Strap in OP, this is a popular topic here. Yes, YABU but what's done is done and you can't go back now.

P&C parking need to be abolished, it makes people too judgy and confrontational.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 23/04/2017 11:17

You need to stay mortified for as long as it takes for you to learn the lesson that YOUR bad day shouldn't be taken out on random people going about their own business.

Birdsgottaf1y · 23/04/2017 11:18

""Ignorant Bitch""

Or disabled and has had enough of explaining this and just got out of the situation quickly.

She may not have been, but please think of this before the confrontation.

I'm currently disabled, have been for over a year, it's shit.

Much harder than when i had three children, as an widowed LP and no online shopping. Also much harder than when i was a full time Carer to my Mum who was a wheelchair user.

Every time i get in a lift, i get this stuff said and it makes you want to not go out, or you get instantly aggressive/defensive.

Vanillamanilla1 · 23/04/2017 11:19

So what ! It was none of your business if she had a child with her or not ...
Get rid of the damn things I say... They just bring grief
And yes I have used these spaces with no child in the car . Id tell you to fuck off if you confronted me .. It's none of your fucking business

MaximaDeWit · 23/04/2017 11:20

I'd be more annoyed that she'd taken a space I was waiting for than I would be that she'd parked in a P&C space.

memyselfandaye · 23/04/2017 11:21

Someone did that to me once, I got out of the car swiftly followed by my Mum.

Woman driving past bellows out of her window, "those spaces are for parents that have children with them" then parks further up the car park.

My Mum opened the back door took the car seat out with my 3m old son in and walked up to her and said "what do you think this is?" followed by "I'll have my apology now" and "that's called shitting before you're ready"

You looked like an idiot OP.

Surely those spaces are wide so you can get a baby in its car seat in and out? You have a toddler that can walk.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 11:22

There is no point in confronting people. They either don't care and may give you a mouthful of abuse. Or they have a valid reason for being there (with or without a child) and you will come across in a bad way and they may also give you a mouthful of abuse.

Dlpdep · 23/04/2017 11:24

I did this once after spending too much time on MN. The lady looked at me as if I was crazy and said 'but I do, I have 4 children at home!'. Hmm

Nothing to be gained from challenging people like that in my view!

AgentOprah · 23/04/2017 11:25

Does it really matter? Why not just park further away if you need extra space? P&c spaces are a nice to have but not really a necessity.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 23/04/2017 11:27

We have four dc. My DH was challenged for parking in the P & C spaces (presumably real men don't shop in the supermarket with their children). He said in a cold, furious voice that of course he had children, and swept off.

It wasn't until he got half way around the store that he realised that he didn't actually have any of the children with him Grin.

IndiaGrace · 23/04/2017 11:27

I have a brief moment of irritation when I see this but I would never, ever call someone out on it.

You just don't know. They could be going to pick up their child. They could have an invisible disability. They could be pregnant and struggling.

EsmeeMerlin · 23/04/2017 11:28

To be fair I would see op question of how many children do you have as passive aggressive so no wonder the woman reacted the way she did.

Cammysmoma · 23/04/2017 11:31

Yes ignorant Bitch.

Birdsgotta- my sisters child has a disability (muscular dystrophy) which is exactly why I think it's pig ignorance! There has been so many times I've had my sisters child in the car and send people parking in P&C spaces or disabled spaces unnecessarily, how are we supposed to get a wheelchair out of a normal space of someone parks too close to the back of the car or my baby in the car seat next time someone parks too close to the car door. These spaces were created for a reason, they are wider to allow more space for wheelchair users and car seats, peaks etc.

There may not be anything gained by confronting someone about it but really the person parking in a wheelchair/child space should be made to feel like the ignorant person they are. At the end of the day, maybe they'd understand if they had a disability or child of their own.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 11:31

You said you were calling her out on it so you were judging her by appointing yourself as the p and c parking police.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 11:33

Disabled spaces aren't wheelchair spaces Cammysmoma.

IndiaGrace · 23/04/2017 11:35

I think parking in a disabled space when you're not disabled is a whole different kettle of fish though

Cammysmoma · 23/04/2017 11:35

I meant disabled space 🙄 simple error.