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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have asked if the lady had children with her in parent and child space?

220 replies

CoffeeCoffeeCoffeeCat · 23/04/2017 11:05

So I know I probably was being unreasonable (pregnant, hormonal, toddler playing up royally that day!) but I just wondered how long I needed to feel mortified for.
Waiting to pull into a parent and child space but due to layout of car park other car got there first. Lady got out, locked car, started walking away. I couldn't see any child or car seat in the car from my view, so pressumed she was doing my massive bug bear of using P&C space with no child. So I wound down my window to call her out on it.
Coffe "Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"
Lady "What?"
Coffee "It's a parent and child parking space for people with children!"
Lady"Of course I've got a child with me"
Coffe (hands shooting up to mouth in dismay) "have you? Oh I'm so sorry."
Lady (extremely cross) "don't you judge me, how dare you"
Coffee "I am sorry, you must hate it when people park in these spaces without kids too tho? I didn't realise"
Lady-storms off sending me evils.

I wasn't judging her and unsure how she thought I was, just when she locked the car and went to walk off without getting a child out, it looks like you dont have a kid with you surely! She was going to get a trolley which was obviously fine, and I won't be questioning anyone about their accompanying child status again, but it was a fair enough assumption no?? And I wasn't agressive about it at all!
Had to do my shop in Sainsbury's instead of Aldi as that's where she headed, and I was too miserable/embarrassed to bump into her.
Small local area and now living in fear of bumping into her
How unreasonable was I?!

OP posts:

KoalaDownUnder · 23/04/2017 11:35

You are not some self-appointed car-park police.

You were bloody rude, whether she had a child with her or not.

Honestly, the business owners are not interested in policing who uses these car parks, and would never stop a non-parent from using one. They're a token gesture.

Squirmy65ghyg · 23/04/2017 11:35

Its a car parking space. Get a grip. I honestly don't get the ire it causes.

People who park in them without kids are being twattish. Don't lower yourself.

stitchglitched · 23/04/2017 11:36

The way you asked was extremely passive aggressive. And she isn't answerable to you just because you are having a bad day.

Ktown · 23/04/2017 11:37

Look this happened to me and my relative when they had cancer and couldn't walk far. They weren't registered disabled and it was my car.
We got the nastiest note and the relative was mortified and ashamed.
I am not saying that this is the case but you should probably not say anything bad you didnt know her circumstances.

ZilphasHatpin · 23/04/2017 11:37

Ignorant Bitch

Are you serious? I think you are the ignorant one. She may have been collecting her husband/nanny and child from the supermarket or her disabled mother or she may have been disabled herself. Use your brain.

PotteringAlong · 23/04/2017 11:38

@Cammysmoma she did have a child with her, she'd just left her child in the car whilst she went to get the trolley, like I do every time. It was the op who was at fault here, not the woman legitimately parking in a parent and child space with her children...

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2017 11:39

YWBU OP. Stop being the car park police and get on with your own shopping.

thecatsarecrazy · 23/04/2017 11:39

Our local shopping center car park only has about 6 family parking spaces. They're nearly all taken up by big expensive shiny cars they don't want scratched.

ZilphasHatpin · 23/04/2017 11:40

And yes you were unreasonable and rude to the woman OP.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2017 11:41

Our local shopping centre has no P&C spaces at all. But weirdly people cope just fine.

SnoozeTime · 23/04/2017 11:41

Let it go. She's well gone so don't waste your energy reliving it in your head. I'm sure she won't give it a second thought.

LucieLucie · 23/04/2017 11:44

Yabu, entitled and twattish behaviour from you.
She got there first, what right does anyone have to question whether or not they had s child with them?!

It's the Supermarkets property and up to them to 'police' if they wish. It's not a criminal matter and I wish these spaces had never been created.

A stupid woman came over to my car after I'd parked in a parent and child space and aggressively knocked on the window and gave me grief about how I'd driven dangerously and nicked the space she was about to drive into with no child. (I drove a sports car with tinted windows - car seat wasn't obvious)

It took all my restraint not to knock her out!
Pathetic behaviour.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/04/2017 11:44

You were unreasonable simply because you aren't the parking police. You don't have authority to go round challenging people and one day you will do it to the wrong person.

This is a classic case of Mind Your Own Business

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/04/2017 11:46

Your embarrassment is reasonable because you made a total arse of yourself. Probably best not to go round doing that...

NoDramasPlease · 23/04/2017 11:47

I personally wouldn't approach someone in those circumstances, especially with dc in tow. You don't know if they'll respond aggressively for a start (and entitled twats who misuse these spaces are not usually reasonable people). Not worth the risk imo.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2017 11:48

I'm sure she won't give it a second thought

She will be back home recounting the story to her family about this weird person that questioned her parking earlier.

WeAllHaveWings · 23/04/2017 11:49

"Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"

You started the conversation by confronting her instead of minding your own business, or asking politely where you would have found out she did have a child. There could have been other legitimate reasons for her using the space (children in shop already with partner, disabled etc), you are not the parking police.

FrancisCrawford · 23/04/2017 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Athome77 · 23/04/2017 11:54

Someone once tried to confront my mum for parking in a p and c place. I world in a big superstore, she came to pick me up with my kids, they came in, I finished, we all had lunch, then we walked to the pet store next door, my mum went back to her car and drove it to the pet store to pick us up (we had several large bags of dog food so it was easier for her to drive over and put them in), when she got to the car some random weirdo started having a go at her for parking with no kids... She just ignored them and got in her car. I'd keep my mouth shut unless you are 100% sure of all the facts. We just

Athome77 · 23/04/2017 11:55

Had a laugh at the person

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 23/04/2017 11:55

Oh and P&C spaces aren't legally enforceable so she wasn't doing anything legally wrong even if she had no children with her.

rollonthesummer · 23/04/2017 11:56

Did she have a child with her or not??

MycatsaPirate · 23/04/2017 11:56

I park in a P&C space when I don't have dc with me because I'm disabled and sometimes the blue badge bays are full.

If you'd started questioning me I'd probably get arsey as well. My disability means I can struggle to walk far without being in excruciating pain. If there were other spaces for you to park in I'd wonder why on earth you were questioning me.

teabagsmummy · 23/04/2017 11:56

I was judged the other day in a parent and child space after doing my shopping. I have blacked out windows in the back and the women could only see my very tall 10 year old in the front. She said I was a disgrace using the space. I jumped out the car and asked her if my 9 week old ds was a figment of my imagination .
I do get your point op it is annoying but it's also annoying to be judged

IndiaGrace · 23/04/2017 11:56

wings how do you ask that question politely in that context though, without coming off as a complete PA twat anyway?

I don't think it can be done.

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