To have asked if the lady had children with her in parent and child space?

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffeeCat]

So I know I probably was being unreasonable (pregnant, hormonal, toddler playing up royally that day!) but I just wondered how long I needed to feel mortified for.
Waiting to pull into a parent and child space but due to layout of car park other car got there first. Lady got out, locked car, started walking away. I couldn't see any child or car seat in the car from my view, so pressumed she was doing my massive bug bear of using P&C space with no child. So I wound down my window to call her out on it.
Coffe "Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"
Lady "What?"
Coffee "It's a parent and child parking space for people with children!"
Lady"Of course I've got a child with me"
Coffe (hands shooting up to mouth in dismay) "have you? Oh I'm so sorry."
Lady (extremely cross) "don't you judge me, how dare you"
Coffee "I am sorry, you must hate it when people park in these spaces without kids too tho? I didn't realise"
Lady-storms off sending me evils.

I wasn't judging her and unsure how she thought I was, just when she locked the car and went to walk off without getting a child out, it looks like you dont have a kid with you surely! She was going to get a trolley which was obviously fine, and I won't be questioning anyone about their accompanying child status again, but it was a fair enough assumption no?? And I wasn't agressive about it at all!
Had to do my shop in Sainsbury's instead of Aldi as that's where she headed, and I was too miserable/embarrassed to bump into her.
Small local area and now living in fear of bumping into her
How unreasonable was I?!

It has nothing to do with you anyway. You have no idea why others might need an accessible space so mind your own business and stop putting people in rotten situations where they might feel forced to disclose private information or feel uncomfortable.

Just so I know for the future OP.

If I park in one of these spots, the first thing to do is not actually get ready for the shopping but to put my child on display (I am thinking something like the Lion King, standing on top of my car and holding it aloft so you can bow down in some kind of genuflected acceptance of my right to that parking space) and then do my shopping once eye contact with other drivers has been established and the presence of the child acknowledged?

You may think you were entitled to ask, those of us with a little more civility are entitled to think you were being an arse.

That's ok. We can agree to differ on this.

Scottish

I agree that's it's staggeringly arrogant to think that someone should have to explain their medical condition to you, so you can decide if they are deserving of the P & C space or not!

My friend who is registered disabled and has a blue badge, parked in a P & C space a while back, when there was no disabled parking spaces left, and was subjected to a tirade of abuse from a big nasty 30-something thug who had a baby with his girlfriend who was sat in the passenger seat...

Said girlfriend looked uncomfortable and kept telling him to 'leave it,' but he refused, and kept attacking my friend, telling her 'you don't look disabled to me,' and 'if you ARE disabled, it's you're probably disabled coz yer fat.' and came up right in her face and told her that her blue badge was a fake.

She refused to move out of the space and went into the store and told the security what had happened, who promptly confronted the man, and gave him a warning. He said if this happens again, he will be banned from the store.

My friend also used to get filthy looks from people over 60, for being in a disabled bay, because she looked too young to be disabled apparently.

Some people are such entitled-to snowflakes. A P & C space is only a courtesy space, and there is no law attached to using them. No-one has any right demanding to know why someone is using them, and they should not be surprised if the person they confront tells them to fuck off.

As someone said earlier, if someone IS parked in them, they either don't give a shit, or they need it because of a disability. So why confront them? It's terribly arrogant to do so.

It really Annoys me how pent up people get over parent and child bays.

A lady once shouted at my df because he had parked in the parent and child space, my children and I had gone to get the trolley but he forgot his bags so went back to get them. A lady saw my df on his own, going from the car towards the shop, wound down her window and shouted at him asking where his children were. Cue him pointing at us, saying 'who do you think they are' she soon drove off. Her husband caught up with us in the supermarket and apologised for his wife's behaviour but she was nowhere to be seen, it was so awkward.

I don't think you had the right to question people because you don't immediately see a child. Next time I wouldn't say anything just park elsewhere, some car parks don't have parent and child spaces and everyone manages Ok there.

scottishdiem

I don't think it's rude. i think the onus is on the person with no children using the P&C spot to expect to be questioned but of course there's no need to not be polite about it on both sides.

There's no onus. Anyone can use them until the law states otherwise.

I don't blame you as I'm sick of people using the spaces that aren't entitled

Entitled how?

Good god how do you all manage in legoland and peppapig world if you can't manoeuvre a simple shopping trip without a p&c space.

^
Sirzy, what is has to do with me is that I'm a P&C. If I wasn't or my kids weren't with me, it would have nothing to do with me and I wouldn't remark on it at all.^

Jaxing RTFT. You cant know for certain if the person has or is waiting for DCs or GDCs. The woman didnt know my Dad can't get round a supermarket, she also didnt know he was waiting for me with my DCs. That's why it's rude to accost random people over something that isn't actually illegal. On a good day. If you accosted me or my Dad I'd ignore the batshit lady giving my ill father the Spanish inquisition and walk away and carry on my business. On a bad day I'd give you short shrift and I certainly wouldn't be justifying my use of the spot by explaining my medical conditions to you. That's my consultants business, not some random woman in the supermarket who's pissed off someone got a p&c space.

Thankfully though, I've started doing online shopping so all the self appointed parking police can accost random strangers to their hearts content.

Gosh, I just can't believe there are so many selfish people out there replying on this post. I know the spaces are not legally enforceable, but they were created for a reason: to make the life of parents that bit easier when they go shopping.

A lot of you have the attitude of 'fuck off I'm parking where I like because I can' which IS being unreasonable when you don't have Dc in the car and there are other spaces available. A little bit of consideration for those who the spaces where designed for would go a long way to help neighbourly love.

I have on a couple of occasions asked people politely 'Oh, where is you child?' Of course these people had no child. I don't scream at them as I say this, I say it in a very measured and polite voice and ask if they have no child not to park there again. But, I've had all sorts of abuse and nonsense hurled at me. Including I am the child said a 40 something woman with her 60 something dad. And one that she had a child's car seat as if that qualified her for the space. Of course they get arsey as they have been pulled up on a public selfish act. They are embarrassed and don't want to admit to a perfect stranger that they have been a dick.

I say it to make them realise that they are SELFISH. And just perhaps, next time these selfish cunts will think twice about doing it again because like it or not we will all need to go to the supermarket sometime soon.

I would never park in a space that was specifically not meant for me, even if it meant circling the car park for some time. But, then again most of you will think I'm some obedient cunt.

So how do you manage at peppapig world then?

The only people being selfish are those who lump having a baby with having a disability.

And one that she had a child's car seat as if that qualified her for the space

Well, surely it did, I assume she hadn't just put a car seat in the back in case some self appointed parking police member with nothing better to do with their time decides to question her about it.

I don't really care who parks where - disabled spaces excepted obviously.

I would never accost someone without a child in a P&C space. Meh.
Live and let live.

But I will (and have once) verbally shred someone asking me where my children are after parking in a P&C space and walking to get a trolley.

I would have no problem with someone who had kids in their car asking me where my children were if I was parked in the P&C spot and my children weren't there. I just politely say 'they've gone ahead with their dad'. I wouldn't think the person was bad for asking. And I wouldn't be rude to them, it's a fair question.

Of course they get arsey as they have been pulled up on a public selfish act. They are embarrassed and don't want to admit to a perfect stranger that they have been a dick.

They're really not. They're getting arsey because most rational people don't go around accosting people over their justification to use a space and people who go around questioning strangers just look silly.

Almost every time I don't park in a P&C spot I have to rest my door on the next car over to reach in and pull my kids out. I'm always terrified of leaving a mark or even of the owner being rightly annoyed at me touching their car. I would have thought it was in everyone's best interest to not have a parent with little ones needing hauled from the back seat parked in a normal spot beside them.

Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"

That isn't particularly polite. I would think saying that to someone is very likely to get their back up. You can hardly be surprised that she was irritated at being questioned. I'd have told you to mind your own business.

You must have known that even if she didn't have a child, she would not have been receptive to being questioned.

I do this all the time. It makes my blood boil when I see someone in such a space without kids and I just hope my challenging of them will make them think twice about doing it again. Lazy barstewards

FrancisCrawford if only someone could come up with some sort of online delivery service to make life easier for people...

I can highly recommend sainsburys

I am surprised at the number of people who are critical about people being upset about the clear rules about p&c spaces being broken. Most places are clear that these spaces are for people with children and they often have an age limit. Of course you can choose to ignore the purpose they are there for and do as you please. We all choose whether to follow rules or not. Just doing what you want may make life easier for you in the short term but I'm not sure it is helpful in terms of everyone rubbing along.