To have asked if the lady had children with her in parent and child space?

[CoffeeCoffeeCoffeeCat]

So I know I probably was being unreasonable (pregnant, hormonal, toddler playing up royally that day!) but I just wondered how long I needed to feel mortified for.
Waiting to pull into a parent and child space but due to layout of car park other car got there first. Lady got out, locked car, started walking away. I couldn't see any child or car seat in the car from my view, so pressumed she was doing my massive bug bear of using P&C space with no child. So I wound down my window to call her out on it.
Coffe "Excuse me, how many children do you have with you to park in that space?!"
Lady "What?"
Coffee "It's a parent and child parking space for people with children!"
Lady"Of course I've got a child with me"
Coffe (hands shooting up to mouth in dismay) "have you? Oh I'm so sorry."
Lady (extremely cross) "don't you judge me, how dare you"
Coffee "I am sorry, you must hate it when people park in these spaces without kids too tho? I didn't realise"
Lady-storms off sending me evils.

I wasn't judging her and unsure how she thought I was, just when she locked the car and went to walk off without getting a child out, it looks like you dont have a kid with you surely! She was going to get a trolley which was obviously fine, and I won't be questioning anyone about their accompanying child status again, but it was a fair enough assumption no?? And I wasn't agressive about it at all!
Had to do my shop in Sainsbury's instead of Aldi as that's where she headed, and I was too miserable/embarrassed to bump into her.
Small local area and now living in fear of bumping into her
How unreasonable was I?!

YABU.

Jheeze.

Yabu, it's not illegal to park in a P&c space without the c so you just sound like a busybody I'm afraid

I often bump into my parents who take the kids home with them leaving me to go back to my car sans children, I'll be honest I'd totally ignore anyone asking me where my kids are. I also use the P&c spaces when my back pain flares up. And if mum is with me who struggles getting in and out.

Or if it had been a man who had parked there?

Given my Dad was one of those men once. I wouldn't have judged. He can't go in supermarkets due to his health. He'd given us a lift as I dont drive and was just out of hospital myself but you know, kids still need feeding and all that.
Some arse was in the middle of making a beeline to the 'twat sitting in a p&c space with no kids' when me and the DCs appeared at just the right time and started to unload the shopping into the boot. Stupid mare didnt know where to put her face and quickly turned on her feet. I'd have given her short shrift if she'd uttered so much as a syllable to my Dad, and that is why you don't judge something on a snapshot you only get to see.

The most I'd do is give a unsavoury look. It's not worth the hassle.

I've parked in P & C spaces without DS when I've got to pick him and OH up occasionally. I wouldn't be impressed with you on such occasions.

I wouldn't worry about it op, you apologised. I was verbally abused for parking in a parent and child parking space as I had my 16 yr old daughter with me and no little ones. The look on her face when I walked round to the boot and got her wheelchair out was priceless! She's newly disabled and we're in the process of jumping through hoops so we can get her a blue badge hence why we didn't park in the disabled spaces.

I'm heavily pregnant and need room to get the car doors open - someone parked too close to me a couple of weeks ago and I had to climb in over the passenger side to get into my seat. But I still don't use P&C spaces, instead I park at the back end of the car park and hobble over. Thanks to the fear of being confronted by people like you.

Havea - use the P and c spaces! And just pretend you haven't heard if anyone does have a dig.

It was 4 yrs ago now but worth reminding on every thread of this nature.

A man died in these circumstances, when another driver did not think he should be parking in a disabled bay. He was punched and was dead at the scene before his disabled wife came out of the shop they had been in together.

Can you imagine going shopping and never coming home again, because of a fucking parking space?! We need to get a grip and stop feeling so entitled all the time.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10221578/Man-dies-after-row-over-disabled-parking-space.html

TBH I'd like to P&C to be at the back of supermarkets or renamed to include other people who may need them but not blue badge qualified.
I saw someone in a P&C spot get abuse for having a school-aged child. This child was on crutches so I think it's fine for people like that to use them.
I've also seen a heavily pg woman get stick. She needed extra space tbh.

I think you were being unreasonable (and rather officious). Honestly, I think P&C spaces are more trouble than they are worth, since they invariably elicit such angst and entitlement.

Incidentally, I was just reading about high-context and low-context cultures. In the former (e.g., Japan) communication tends to be focused on non-verbal cues: body language, tone, status, etc. Low-context cultures (like the U.K.) rely more heavily on direct expression via language and explicit rules. But of course, no culture is solely one or the other. In this case, there was a clash between low-context and high-context communication: the other woman perfectly understood the "rules" of the game (parking in a P&C space because she had a child with her) but your direct approach challenged both her understanding and her status. That may account in part for her comment about being "judged."

Or maybe not. But on the subject of culture, I think this comment must be one of the most typically British reactions I've seen in a long while: Had to do my shop in Sainsbury's instead of Aldi as that's where she headed, and I was too miserable/embarrassed to bump into her.

I'd have totally agreed with you if you'd accidentally told me off and if probably have treated you to a camaraderie coffee!

I hate people abusing the spaces. I've got a big car (needed for towing horses) and I physically couldn't get child out as well as myself, in some normal spaces (budget supermarkets are the worst offenders) especially now I'm pregnant, I remember having to climb in though the passenger side when returning to my car as I couldn't open door wide enough for me and bump!

Ps I have to open the door fully to get my 2.5 year old in his car seat, yes he can walk to the car but he's yet to learn how to slide in the sun roof and buckle himself in.

I would have told you to jog on if you had challenged me.

Why are they pisstakers exactly?
Well, you know, people who do not have any children with them, are not pregnant, are not collecting children, and use the spaces. It's bloody annoying to see someone with no DC in tow (and who you later see is not collecting any either) pinch the last P&C space when you have a baby, a toddler and a small child and have to walk in the rain from the other side of the car park.

Am I alone in finding this annoying?

Well, you know, people who do not have any children with them, are not pregnant, are not collecting children, and use the spaces.

There is no statute anywhere that says only the above may use a p&c space.

Am I alone in finding this annoying?

No. But it's one of the things most sensible grown ups manage to shrug off and not accost random strangers over.

Last week I had an older lady, probably in her 60s getting annoyed at how long it was taking me to put my two children in their car seats in the P&C space. Big sign up saying for "under 5s". She didn't even have car seats in the car, let alone children.

No, but she maybe had a greater need than a parent of being nearer the door of the supermarket...

If you can't go to the supermarket with your toddler without causing it because you're not getting special treatment, probably not a great idea to be having another baby really.

Are you a parking attendant OP?

Otherwise you are being an interfering busybody.

I think you did the right thing by calling her out (based on what you could see), though you could probably have done it in a less PA manner.

You were wrong and you apologised.

You were unreasonable not to go into the supermarket you wanted to go to anyway.

Some of these responses are hilarious I love that from my 2 posts people have been able to infer so much about me as a person in general! Including that I'm not stable enough to be having another child
I obviously haven't read the threads on this topic before, genuinely surprised by the majority of attitudes. Interesting. Wave to the few folks who do seem to think they should be used by the people they're provided for!
Out of interest tho, to the very able bodied out there, with no need for wider space access, or any of the other acceptable reasons for ignoring the suggested intended space rules, I don't understand how you can call me or other parents wanting to use these spaces entitled when surely that's exactly what you're being by deliberately ignoring the clearly signposted provision and feeling sod that I'm going to use it anyway?
Anyway, clearly a subject people have their views on, and we'll agree to differ. I won't be calling anyone out on it again, as as several of you have said, if someone is twaty enough to be using one without kids or valid reasons, they're not going to do anything, and you're right, it's not worth it. Thanks for the education Mumsnet!

I wouldn't have reacted well tbh op

I had a P&C incident at the weekend. I probably wouldn't have said anything but my mood was low after a horrendous hour of tantrums from the 4yr old and the 2yr old screaming the car down at the same time. The car in front of me pulled into the only P&C spot left, clearly no children. So I went off and parked where there was space at the far end of the car park. As I hauled the 4, 2 and 1 yr old across the car park, 4yr old still tantrumming so not easy to communicate with and keep safe, also distracting as the 2 yr old was likely to bolt and I was close to tears myself at this stage. I passed her as she got out of the car and said politely 'you've parked in a mum and child space'. She mumbled 'oh, do you want me to move' and I said 'no, just maybe think about it for next time' as I walked on with baby under one arm, handing into 2yr old with the other hand and repeatedly telling roaring 4yr old to stay close etc.

She either felt bad and hopefully won't do it again or was annoyed and thinks I'm the dick. Either way doesn't matter but it's better than not challenging her at all I think.

I feel your pain Jaxing, but apparently according to most people here you're entitled and in the wrong