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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be utterly disgusted and depressed that women think its ok to make small penis gags?

532 replies

deffonamechange · 22/04/2017 18:16

Just been reading a thread further down where yes some scumbag bloke had been horrible to someone. Lots of outrage and tell him he has a small dick, tell him he has a micro penis basically mock the size of his genitals.

Can you imagine if a woman upset a bloke and all his mates said tell her she has awful labia, tell her her fanny is horrible, tell her she doesnt look normal down there
Its horrific!!

Do you know how many lovely men with smaller penises get inundated with this? Do you know how many teenage boys worry themselves to death because of comments like these?

Its depressing/sexist/cruel and plain nasty. You should be ashamed of yourselves!

OP posts:
itsmine · 22/04/2017 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerchantofVenice · 22/04/2017 22:54

Hmm. Bit like men saying women are dumb blondes to 'cut them down to size'. Putting people down via sexist physical insults is never something intelligent people do.

Well, it's a bit like that, yes - but not a lot like that. In this type of situation (and I am, yes, doggedly referring to the case the OP mentioned, since that is the only documented instance we have on MNetters being a load of penis shamers), the balance of power resides firmly with the guy who is busy enjoying his male privilege and ranking women according to their ability to shed baby weight.... so, erm, not that much like the dumb blonde trope.

didn't read the thread in question. But I think using a disability to insult some is wrong, even if the person hasn't got that disability and even if the insult is private and those with the disability don't get to hear about it.

Fair enough if you didn't read the thread in question. All I'd say here is that having a dick that is on the smaller side isn't, as far as I know, a disability... (Is it?) If it is, then I'm with you on this point.

And where did I do that? You referred to a "certain vibe" which appears. I merely pointed out the equally nasty and misogynistic vibe which often appears in the "handmaiden " put down.

Your explanation of your orgasm comment as an equal opportunities is noted although I still think it is no better than , as someone pointed out accusing posters of "frothing" or " being hysterical"

Ok - I don't know why you keep quoting me, Lass if you're not specifically disagreeing with stuff I personally have said. Haven't said 'handmaiden', haven't said 'froth'... By all means, take issue with those words, just not with me!?

newdaddie · 22/04/2017 22:57

YANBU

Papafran · 22/04/2017 22:57

meek the disgusting text was he didn't think she was good in bed. Guess what, he doesn't have too think she's good in bed. Doesn't warrant the small dick responses!

Come on, KungFu, that makes it sounds as if it is OK to text people to tell them we think they are shit in bed. It's not and he was completely out of order.

I agree that it is not nice to use the small penis insult, but it's not very different to the rhetoric of 'big boobs' or 'pert boobs' that makes women massively insecure if they haven't got that. Lots of lovely women and girls with smaller breasts will feel upset when they hear guys say 'she's got to have nice tits for me to date her' and when they hear jokes about how padded bras are false advertising etc etc etc. All jokes told by men on a frequent basis.

But personally, I would never put someone down for penis-size. It's something they cannot help and it's horrible to insult someone's body like that.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 23:04

"Well we can't comment on every single post can we? I tend to respond to the ones I disagree with or interest me, as do most people."
Yeah. Course you do! Grin Periah the thought that you might respond to anything that challenges your rigid mindset.....

MerchantofVenice · 22/04/2017 23:08

Ok, I am going to backpedal a bit.

Only because I think there are two different discussions getting all mashed together.

If you did read the thread the OP mentioned, I doubt you'd be that upset for the guy. He was a pig (no offence intended to pigs). As far as we know, he didn't actually have a small dick, or any kind of disability. He was a sexist who thought his assessment of female bodies was important. So, to hit him where it hurt seemed sort of ok - especially because he was slagging off his own wife's body. Sort of ok. [I realise 'sort of' is not a convincing term here.]

In general, no, the shaming of body parts, on any grounds, is shit. Women know how it feels so they should not perpetuate it. Agreed. And I am willing to concede that the aforementioned situation, although it contained an asshat who deserved it, does not help the cause.

So, I am sorry on those grounds.

But may I make one final point... (Hint: I'm gonna)

We have had pages of hand-wringing over one hypothetical instance in which a man might have been insulted in this way. Do you think the men are doing this? Do you think they see one suggestion that a man should tell a girl 'well, you're fat anyway' and they all spend hours worrying and arguing about it? Do they BOLLOCKS.

Now, I know this doesn't make it right, and we all have to rise above it and shit, and set the example, and never ever get just a little urge to shout 'Oh just fuck off you small-dicked PILLOCK' when we've been catcalled or felt up or intimidated just one too many times - because we are trying to set an example and be perfect... because if we get it wrong we are FEMINAZIS who deserve nothing but contempt.

But we're not winning, ladies. We're really not.

Arealhumanbeing · 22/04/2017 23:10

Worra

You really come to life on these threads don't you?!

What was it again. Something about having sons?

For what it's worth, body shaming is always unacceptable. Your almost wilful blind spot though, when any discussion touches on feminism/women's issues in general really grinds my fucking gears.

MerchantofVenice · 22/04/2017 23:12

Oh, as an aside, I think I might actually have been thinking of the wrong thread.

This does not affect my argument at all.

WomblingThree · 22/04/2017 23:12

Ultimately there are so many insults that you can apply to a dumb arse of either sex that don't need to involve genitals. Referring to a micro- penis isn't even a relevant insult. The bloke sent the woman a repulsive email; that literally has nothing to do with the size of his dick. He's a letch, a perve, a sleaze, a slimebag, a shit...

If a woman sent a totally inappropriate email to someone, I doubt anyone would be saying "oh I bet she's got no tits" or "yeah she's just a bucket", because it would be irrelevant.

WomblingThree · 22/04/2017 23:17

Actually, come to think of it MerchantofVenice, I wouldn't have much of a problem with the small dick thing if a bloke was in the act of catcalling or commenting about someone's body to their face.

I guess it's about relevance and context.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 23:19

Meh. Stick a bit of oil in them Arealhumanbeing, or book your bike in at Halfords.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2017 23:25

With that thread, the boyfriend insulted her, I probably would insult him back if he said that to my face, but as its a text, I would have said something like ditto, and delete and block him.

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 23:26

Yes- I wish I thought men were leaping to the defence of women the way women leap to the defence of men. Very interesting that they don't..........

Arealhumanbeing · 22/04/2017 23:27

Ah you're funny too! That was great Grin

Yeah I know you don't care. You worry me though. I'm sure you're a decent sort underneath it all.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 23:30

I think if any internet random grinds your gears and starts to actually worry you, it's probably time to take a step back.

I find myself rolling my eyes out of my head most days at a lot of posters, but that's very much my problem if I let them worry me Grin

MerchantofVenice · 22/04/2017 23:35

I wouldn't necessarily let a single Internet random worry me either... but I see shitloads of misogyny on the Internet and it genuinely does worry me.

My heart fills with joy, however, when I see MEN defending feminism (and they do).

Arealhumanbeing · 22/04/2017 23:37

Worra

Thanks for the advice Smile You're right of course, it is my problem.

No need to get so invested though. I'm just an internet random after all.

WorraLiberty · 22/04/2017 23:39

At least we agree on something Grin

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 23:52

"My heart fills with joy, however, when I see MEN defending feminism (and they do)"
Oh God, me too! And it counteracts the utter gloom that overcomes me when I see women attacking feminism and allying themselves with the most awful of men....

MerchantofVenice · 22/04/2017 23:56

Totally agree, Bertrand

There are many, many right-minded men who are prepared to fight for feminism. It's a shame they are so often over-shadowed...

StillHungryy · 23/04/2017 01:45

There's basically a whole thread in classics about men's penises and making fun of them, I do think it's wrong, all body shaming is of course, it seems odd to me to think body shaming is wrong BUT men do it to me/ women when that man ( a man in general )may not have said a thing about a woman's body

kali110 · 23/04/2017 02:06

No i don't think i'm atypical at all Confused
School, college work even it was the women that was worse to my friends and i, a lot worse.

kali110 · 23/04/2017 02:10

LassWiTheDelicateAir
And where did I do that? You referred to a "certain vibe" which appears. I merely pointed out the equally nasty and misogynistic vibe which often appears in the "handmaiden " put down

And 'cool wives' Angry that serously pisses me off when that gets trotted out on a thread just because you happen to have a different view to the majority.

MerchantofVenice · 23/04/2017 07:34

kali ok. But were those same women doing it to men? I highly doubt it. As I've said, misogyny is misogyny, whether it's coming from men or women...

BertrandRussell · 23/04/2017 07:36

People get very angry about the use of "handmaiden" and "cool girl/wife" And they are rather tedious terms, I suppose. But they are terms for something that really exists. There are women who excuse and justify men's behaviour, however appalling. Who always put men's needs and wants first and who always seek to blame the woman in any given situation. Who look at a situation where women are having a hard time and who immediately say "Oh, but it's just as bad for men"
A lot of women do this without realising it-many of us were socialised to put men first- so it's a shock to have it pointed out. Very often our reaction to having our world view questioned is to get angry and lash out. Particularly if it's a world view that has suited us very well in the past.