To stop the 'nicknames'?

[PrtyPsn]

Expecting DS1 very soon and starting to think about when he's here.
OH's parents already have grandchildren from his siblings. When their first grandchild was learning to talk, they mispronounced 'Granny' and 'Grandpa' (as young children often do) it was cute and funny at the time but the in laws encouraged it.
Now, several grandchildren later (all at an age of speaking perfectly well) they all still refer to their grandparents as these mispronunciations.
It really grates on me - I come from a child education background so I know how frustrating it is when children use alternative words for something and teaching children to mispronounce a word is a big pet hate of mine.
So, AIBU to ask them to stop this for my child? It's not a habit I want him to fall into and definitely not something that will happen with any other family members but it's clear they like it as they've done it for years.

But then we are working class and I'm not from a child education background.

My family has a grandad know as Gangans and dp's family have a Gaga. Everyone else also has ridiculous nicknames. It's completely normal to me. Not sure why this is such a problem really.

I come from a child education background

Right, so, you're the MDS otherwise you would have told us you were SALT or and Ed psych.

This happened with my son. He created funny sounding names for my ILs and whilst funny at the beginning, they did begin to get quite cringey as they encouraged my son and referred to themselves as these nicknames.

The name for MIL also meant 'mother' in another language and just drove me mental every time she called herself it!!!

We called them their regular names at home, and the nicknames faded over time. If the in laws had it their way they'd be known as the silly names forever, bit unique n'all...

I think it's also a reluctance to be known as 'granny'/'grandpa'
My mum tried a nickname too as 'granny' was soooo ageing...
Happened with my friend's mum too and it annoyed her no end as well.

I don't think you're BU at all but don't focus on it too much, it's just a name

Right, so, you're the MDS otherwise you would have told us you were SALT or and Ed psych

My mother in law (head teacher) was told by her new neighbour that they did pretty much the same job. The neighbour was a midday supervisor.

I'm an SLT. We have many funny little words for things in our house based on mispronunciations from the children.

My grandparents had nicknames that developed because my brother struggled to say Mamgu and Dadcu when he was little. Many of our friends growing up referred to them by those names too. I'm actually quite sad my children never knew them to be able to use those names. they are affectionate and loving. not 'bad habits'.

chill the fuck out.

My (now) husband nicknamed my Grandad with a silly name (not mispronounced) when we were staying with them back when we were 19 and my Grandad found it humorous so it stuck quite quickly and the wider family started using it and then Grandad's friends to the point when he passed it was written on the funeral cards and when we talk about him we still use it. It made my Grandad happy initially that he and my Husband had a great bond, then he thought it was quite cool and loved being called it. He enjoyed it so we used it (even if it was weird to explain to people who you were talking about when I used it by accident referring to him!)

Grandparents won't be here forever, so if they liked being called a cutesy name that makes them happy and makes them feel special, just bloody do it and don't be so precious.

You are on a hiding to nothing trying to police this, quite apart from the whole calling people by their choice of name rather than imposing one.

If it bothers you that the moniker is a bit babyish the reality is that the children will use it around the house and talk about their grandma/whatever at school and with friends so its not likely to reflect back on you anyway.

This happened in my family Ds 2 couldn't say grandad and a nickname was born and my dd has always called him that. I don't see the issue - I think it's endearing. Why make a big deal out of a non issue. Just keep referring to them as grandma and grandpa or whatever you prefer and they will eventually stop

The same happened with my eldest son, he was 11yrs older than ds2 and he got a nickname which dd went on to use. He's 24 now, 12 and 9 and goes mad if they call him by his actual name. They don't have any education issues and do know the correct terms.

To be fair HRH Lilibet and her mother were notoriously poorly educated so that would explain the persistent mispronunciation

It's not baby talk - it's a charming nickname - or at least the grandparents think so.
Focus on something else - this is absolutely nuts

I think YABU to use the judgey tone when referring to your nieces and nephews. However I think if you want to encourage your child to be traditional then you can give it a go as long as it will not offend the grandparents. My inlaws wanted to be called Grandma and Gramps. My son, the eldest gc, used Grumps instead and it stuck. When my bil had children he insisted they use Grandma and Grandad. My sil got her children to use Gramps. None of the children have noticed the difference and everyone knows who is being spoken to. Personally I prefer the cute name and so does Gramps!

insancerre I have to know what name ended up as "arses"??

Family nicknames are lovely - we have an "oni" (fiona), an "ah-bee" (edward) and a "bill" (wilhelmina) because of children not being able to say their names. In addition an "(great)uncle mouse", who I've just realised I never knew what his actual name is...

I think allowing nicknames is a very different thing to encouraging baby talk in children who should know better.

And in any case, the damage is done, the oldest grandchildren generally "choose" the nickname. My European grandparents were Oma and Opa, and the English grandmother also ended up as Oma x, because at that point her mother was still alive, and she was always "granny x". The English cousins also called her (English GM) Oma x, because by that point that was "her name".

I always called my GPs by my childhood mispronounciaton.

My cousins called the same GPs by their own affectionate names.

We all knew that they were our grandmother and grandfather.

I completely agree! OH and I had the same discussion before DD1 was born. We used 'correct' words/terms and no nick names etc. Ganga maybe cute when they are at home but as OP says, as children grow older it is not cute telling the dentist you are going to 'gangan's for dindins' If the word is repeated/reinforced as a baby/toddler, the child will struggle when having to learn the correct term. When DD1 pronounced a word incorrectly, we would repeat the correct word. I do not think YABU at all. As for telling PIL, just say you are doing it with all words and if it does not change anything by what your DS1 calls them then Grandma/dad is ok.

as children grow older it is not cute telling the dentist you are going to 'gangan's for dindins'

Except that doesn't happen. Children are bright enough to know the difference between a proper word and a nickname.

the child will struggle when having to learn the correct term.

Do children struggle to learn that Mother (obviously can't be mummy) is also called Wilma or Mrs Flintstone?

In child development terms it's a good thing for children to refer to wider family with unique names and identifiers. Don't be a misguided pushy sod trying to race your children to perfect vocabulary and pronunciation. That kind of attitude is damaging. Which you should know. Being all experty and that.

Ganga maybe cute when they are at home but as OP says, as children grow older it is not cute telling the dentist you are going to 'gangan's for dindins' If the word is repeated/reinforced as a baby/toddler, the child will struggle when having to learn the correct term.

Absolutley none of this statement is true. Utter nonsense. This never happens. Children are smarter than you seem to give them credit for.

Lord, such ridgedity. Get a grip girl. Your dc's relationship with his or her grandparent is just that - their relationship, not yours, and if that includes a pet name so be it. God forbid your dc ever has any issues with its speech, what will that do to your plans.

As soon as my dc2 could talk he called my MIL by her first name, dc1 only ever referred to her as Nan/Nanny. All three loved each other beyond measure. Let your kid decide

Ok, just imagine you're all there at Christmas.

"Pass Gamgam the potatoes please Oona" calls Fievel from the other end of the table.

"Here you go Gamgam!" Oona booms. "They're great by the way, thanks so much for this wonderful dinner!"

"Gamgam, what games are we playing this evening?" asks Fievel, scratching his ear with his fork.
That can't be hygienic. You raise an eyebrow and give your DH the look.

"Oh Gamgam is it Pieface? I hope it's Pieface again! I love it sooooo much!"

It's your small DS Calendulus, he's so excited he's squeaking, with his rosy cheeks, his little paper hat from his cracker upon his head of golden curls.
Everyone smiles fondly at him.

"Gamgam, remember last year? Calendulus laughed so much when Googar was splatted in the face he fell off his chair!" Oona giggles and giggles and giggles, remembering.

Of course, this can't be countenanced.
"No darling"
"Mummy? No more Pieface?"
"Darling, remember what we talked about?"
"..."
DH chimes in. "We call people by their proper names, don't we Calendulus? Not baby names, for silly babies. You're not a baby, are you? You are a big boy. Can you try again?"
"..."
"..."

"Um, I'd like to play Pieface, Grandmother, later."

Everyone is quiet. Fievel's knife scrapes on his plate.
You wonder what time it would be reasonable to set off home in the morning.
More silence.
Oona is staring out of the window, somehow both pinched and gormless at the same time. She is a strange girl, your niece.
You swallow your stuffing.
It's a bit dry.

Only read about half the replies so far...

My nephew was the first grandchild for each set of parents. The grandparents picked their own names. So my mum & dad became Nana Mo & Grandad. 3.5 years later, our dd arrived. She refers to my parents as MaMo and Granad. Ds (15 months) looks set to call my dad Gaga. They don't appear to be held back in any way...

Leeloo2 we also have a dandad rather than a grandad, named by my 18 month old ds I adore it and so does dandad!

I love toddler nicknames, so unless the other dc call the grandparents something along the lines of 'wanker and arsehole' instead of 'granny and grandad' I think it's time to unclench a little

@Meeep has nailed it and I have nothing to add!