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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop the 'nicknames'?

200 replies

PrtyPsn · 22/04/2017 08:19

Expecting DS1 very soon and starting to think about when he's here.
OH's parents already have grandchildren from his siblings. When their first grandchild was learning to talk, they mispronounced 'Granny' and 'Grandpa' (as young children often do) it was cute and funny at the time but the in laws encouraged it.
Now, several grandchildren later (all at an age of speaking perfectly well) they all still refer to their grandparents as these mispronunciations.
It really grates on me - I come from a child education background so I know how frustrating it is when children use alternative words for something and teaching children to mispronounce a word is a big pet hate of mine.
So, AIBU to ask them to stop this for my child? It's not a habit I want him to fall into and definitely not something that will happen with any other family members but it's clear they like it as they've done it for years.

OP posts:
MrsDustyBusty · 22/04/2017 10:09

This a completely unreasonable projection. You are irritated by your inlaws and don't want their influence so you're hanging this as a way to explain it. You might as well be honest, child educator and all.

kel1493 · 22/04/2017 10:13

I would just correct your child, and ask if others could do the same.
(And I can't stand baby talk at any age, my husband wanted to do it with our baby and I said no).

MitzyLeFrouf · 22/04/2017 10:16

I agree with whoever said that this strategy is a sure fire way to ensure you get your own family nickname. But perhaps not one they use in your presence...

ADishBestEatenCold · 22/04/2017 10:16

Am really curious, PrtyPsn, so can I ask ...

a) whether the names used by your partner's parent's other grandchildren are offensive words, or simply made-up words?

b) what would you like your son to call your partner's parent's and your parents?

EdmundCleverClogs · 22/04/2017 10:20

kel1493, baby talk is important for language development....

Archduke · 22/04/2017 10:25

Oh my God, I love you OP.

So bonkersly uptight. Brilliant.

Why on earth does it matter? It's a family nickname. My rather grand grandmother was called Toodles by family members. It was affectionate. We can actually speak normally and distinguish 'correct' speech from nicknames. This is because we are humans who fortunately have the power of reasoning. Hmm

MrsMozart · 22/04/2017 10:29

Gosh My degree educated children, one in Liguistics (child speech acquisition), were obviously destined for something far greater (to hold a chair somewhere perhaps), and it's all because a set of grandparents had nicknames. My bad.

OP if you're really so knickers in a twist over it then feel free to go your chosen route. Just be prepared to have to explain and defend for the next fifty years.

Garnethair · 22/04/2017 10:30

I've no problem with nicknames, and baby talk that evolves affectionately and becomes part of a family's language.

Gee gees and Woof woofs and 'say ta' pisses me right off however.

Greggers2017 · 22/04/2017 10:31

I'm an early years teacher. I'm also 33 years old and still call mine 'momma and pompa and 'nanan and gangan'

ClashCityRocker · 22/04/2017 10:33

My dh is pushing fifty and his best friend of a similar age is still known by the name his (much younger) sister called him as a tot.. She's in her thirties now and I can't see that it's been a negative impact on her life.

ClashCityRocker · 22/04/2017 10:33

My dh is pushing fifty and his best friend of a similar age is still known by the name his (much younger) sister called him as a tot.. She's in her thirties now and I can't see that it's been a negative impact on her life.

MsHooliesCardigan · 22/04/2017 10:36

kel You sound a right bundle of laughs. Did you go around sharply correcting anyone who said choo choo train or doggie in your PFB's presence?
Hilarious mispronounciations are one of the things I miss the most about having small children. I fondly remember visiting the Maritime museum and 4 year old DS1 calling it the Marmite museum. We still call it that to this day and lollipops will forever be 'peepops' in this house.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/04/2017 10:37

Can't imagine getting worked up about this.

Gdd of nearly 2 has her own names for me and Dh. We love them and will probably be sad when she starts using the 'proper' ones.

What I do think unwise is using non standard terms for bodily functions, esp. if other people need to understand. I well remember a friend who worked at a nursery, telling me about a little new boy who told her several times 'I'm going to be a good boy!'

'Well, that's lovely!' she said brightly, and didn't realise until eventually, with a very worried expression he told her he'd BEEN a good boy, that he actually meant he was about to do a poo.

Bigblug · 22/04/2017 10:41

I used to call my grandad something that didn't even sound remotely like 'grandad'. I was the eldest and my sister's and cousins follower suit. They even signed cards with it. When I was about 15 my grandad said 'would you stop bloody calling me that!' So now i call him grandad. Why it took him 15 years to admit he hated it is beyond me.

NiceCuppaTeaAndASitDown · 22/04/2017 10:43

I wouldn't be unduly concerned OP.

I know a couple of siblings who had a gangan and na-na (pronounced as in banana)

One is now a paediatrician and the other a very highly regarded civil engineer.

Chavelita · 22/04/2017 10:46

Honestly, OP, based on our experiences with DS, the child decides what to call his/her adults. My and DH's parents all had a G8 summit-style confab about what they were going to be called, but DS called them all by their first names for the time he started talking, and he has elaborate nicknames which bear no resemblance to their actual names for his favourite aunts and uncles.

Bigbiscuits · 22/04/2017 10:50

I was the first grandchild and am in my 50s.

I still use the mispronounced nicknames for my grandparents as do all my siblings and all my cousins.

They like it. We like it. It's become a term of endearment.

SuperBeagle · 22/04/2017 10:54

Oh remove the stick from your bum and get over yourself.

Your child is no more god's gift than anyone else in the family and if it hasn't done them any irreparable damage, then you've no reason to kick rocks over your DD.

Crumbs1 · 22/04/2017 11:06

This is making me laugh so much. It also reminds me that my husband still uses the words 'psghetti, persific and arky'........he's a professor of education.
As a family we have Betty scolonaise, baked Alsatian and stumbled eggs.

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite · 22/04/2017 12:04

Btw, my lovely DH is also weird about language etc.

He hates word like "up the duff"/"expecting" or also other polite euphemisms (is that the English word...?).

But nicknames? nicknames are lovely :)

GinIsIn · 22/04/2017 12:10

All this stuff about mispronouncing and child education is a little odd coming from someone who, judging by their username, isn't sure how to use a vowel....? Hmm

HoneyDragon · 22/04/2017 12:11

Weird, as both my kids were under SALT and we were told such nicknames were perfectly common as stem from when children are developing language and simply stick. They then learn the correct word and apply it properly when needed.

EdmundCleverClogs · 22/04/2017 12:11

FeedTheSharkAndItWIllBite, they're idioms, and I know certain other cultures don't 'get' them - Germanic languages for example.

PoohBearsHole · 22/04/2017 12:15

Frankly, it's far more hateful for SIL dh to call her parents "mum and dad" and refer to them as such. he has his own parents wholbhe also calls mum and dad. He's 44 ffs.

Dh is a calm and rational person and i watch him get stabby about it. i'm surprised he's still breathing - especially as he started it when they got engaged. and he's a twat of major proportions.

SeaCabbage · 22/04/2017 12:17

Surely the other kids can call their grandparents by those other names, that is fine.

You don't like it, nor does your DH so, fair enough, I don't see why you can't have things different for your family. What does it matter if the cousins call their grandparents different names, I am sure it's very normal.

BEfore your child is born, I would suggest a chat with your DH's parents to talk about names. I am sure you could suggest very warmly and kindly some of the names you do like and ask them to choose one of those? So long as you are diplomatic, I am sure it can be doen without upsetting anyone.

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