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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop the 'nicknames'?

200 replies

PrtyPsn · 22/04/2017 08:19

Expecting DS1 very soon and starting to think about when he's here.
OH's parents already have grandchildren from his siblings. When their first grandchild was learning to talk, they mispronounced 'Granny' and 'Grandpa' (as young children often do) it was cute and funny at the time but the in laws encouraged it.
Now, several grandchildren later (all at an age of speaking perfectly well) they all still refer to their grandparents as these mispronunciations.
It really grates on me - I come from a child education background so I know how frustrating it is when children use alternative words for something and teaching children to mispronounce a word is a big pet hate of mine.
So, AIBU to ask them to stop this for my child? It's not a habit I want him to fall into and definitely not something that will happen with any other family members but it's clear they like it as they've done it for years.

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 22/04/2017 08:43

BertrandRussell, I think it will be less hurt feelings and more a case that the OP's child with be 'that cousin'. The one that doesn't quite fit in.

QueenofLouisiana · 22/04/2017 08:43

I'm fairly sure that my 12 yo DS doesn't go around asking for "snuffing" with his lunch anywhere but his grandparents' house- even though safe and onion stuffing is served with every roast dinner there as a joke about his earlier mispronunciation. Those little jokes about speech as a young child are part of their relationship.

DS doesn't have those wth my dad as he lives abroad and is visited infrequently. It's a bit sad.

MelinaMercury · 22/04/2017 08:45

This is actually a pet hate of mine, because i do/did it myself and am only just breaking the habit at 30 so YANBU Blush

When i was younger I called my Gran by a name that I'd picked up through other family members and if i mentioned her to other people it earned me some funny looks and "who?" then repeating myself not understanding why others didn't get it immediately. Of course once i got a bit older i understood that it wasn't what people normally call their Gran and managed to correct myself unless i was with family. Now i'm trying my damnest to ensure my kids don't follow suit but i forget sometimes and they look at me like "who are you talking about?" :o

MamaPuffin · 22/04/2017 08:46

I think YABU.

What does your OH think? It's his family after all.

prettybird · 22/04/2017 08:48

Dh is known as Uncle Steg by his nieces and nephews as his oldest nephew couldn't say his name when he was little. Strangely they've all learned to talk well. Confused

My mother's mother was Dodo. I knew she was my grandmother (and guess what, I could say the word "grandmother" when I explained to friends who she was): Dodo was simply what we called her. Smile

Ds calls my dad "Opa" - the German for grandfather - as that's what my dad had called his grandfather (who was German). His other grandfather sadly now dead he called Gramps. Strangely, he too speaks very well, is highly articulate (public speaking one of his strengths) and on course to get an A for his Higher English Confused

As long as children understand the context, there is nothing wrong with nicknames. Next thing you'll be arguing that being bi-lingual is bad for child development Confused

Another YABU from me. You'll have bigger things to worry about when your PFB arrives. Allow your dd/ds to feel part of the family when he/she gets old enough to start talking. If they pick up the nickname, be glad that they are absorbing family traditions and learning a "personal" language.

BanjaxedFecker · 22/04/2017 08:49

you're being a bit miserable OP

Original poster
PrtyPsn · 22/04/2017 08:50

OH agrees with me - he doesn't like the nickname and it frustrates him when his nieces and nephews refer to them that way.

OP posts:
PandasRock · 22/04/2017 08:52

As QueenofLoiusiana says, these little things are part of what makes up a family and shared history.

We often have Ramangues for pudding (dd2's mispronunciation), I do a lot of undusting around the house (can see dd1's point there, tbf, although it does sometimes seem as though I am putting down a song much as I clear up!) and says wears jamamas to bed.

They are all aware of the real words. They are all doing fine academically. They are all old enough to know when to use these words and when to explain to poor hapless strangers who don't share our jokes, even dd1 who's has learning difficulties.

User2468 · 22/04/2017 08:52

Child hasn't even hit the ground yet, I'm 90% certain you'll not give this a second thought for at least two years when they do!

insancerre · 22/04/2017 08:52

I miss the made up names
Dd used to call herself "arses" because she couldn't say her own name

Original poster
PrtyPsn · 22/04/2017 08:53

Feel like I need to add - I'm fully aware the nicknames aren't going to severely damage my child or ruin their public speaking confidence, it's just a bad habit I would rather they didn't get into.
In my family there were mispronounced words, yes we laughed but we also corrected when appropriate and moved on - this is the step I think in laws are missing.

OP posts:
MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 22/04/2017 08:53

Lighten up! Grin

ProudBadMum · 22/04/2017 08:54

I don't get how you can be annoyed by how others refer to their grandparents.

I find that stranger than nicknames. You child will call their grandparents whatever they want. You can't change it.

My son called his grandad gan gan and his other one Irish gangan.

It doesn't matter if you like it. It's not your name.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 22/04/2017 08:54

Yabvvu

It's fantastic the way pet and family names evolve. I cannot understand why you'd wing to stop that for the grandparents who clearly like their nicknames.

Seems a bit selfish of you.

EdmundCleverClogs · 22/04/2017 08:55

How is it a bad habit Hmm. Sorry op, but you're just reading like a language snob.

BeyondThePage · 22/04/2017 08:56

What IS the nickname - is it close to a "naughty" word?

Can't think why else you would want to encourage your kids to not be a part of a funny little tradition with their cousins. Childish names are for children to call people. If they stick, they stick... hey-ho

My MIL insists on pronouncing DD's name wrongly - where she is from they say it her way. It is not how I say it - but even though it grates, I would not DREAM of getting her to change it just so I don't have to hear it.

Okite · 22/04/2017 08:57

My DD couldn't say her cousins name properly when she was little. One day she just suddenly dropped the mispronunciation and said it properly. I was a little bit heartbroken! The mispronunciations are such a sweet little part of baby/toddlerhood and don't last long at all. Now they're older, my DD calls her cousin by the nickname again, she knows her proper name of course but she's the only one to call her by the nickname and it's a special bond between them.
I think you are really overthinking this OP.

chocatoo · 22/04/2017 08:57

I'm with you OP. Frankly amazed to be so much in the minority!

CheekyLoki · 22/04/2017 08:58

OP chill the fuck out. You worry about what? The nickname given to the grandparents? Really?

BertrandRussell · 22/04/2017 08:58

Cue post in 3 years time "AIBU to want to go NC with pil? They have lots of grandchildren but our dc just don't seem to be part of the gang. I have a child education background and I've pointed out a few things where they are going wrong, but they just won't take my advice on board....."

WaitrosePigeon · 22/04/2017 08:59

How on earth is it a bad habit Hmm

Sometimes nicknames just evolve. Your child may even call them a nickname totally different from the one the other grandchildren use.

You'll look back on this post and cringe.

Fruitcocktail6 · 22/04/2017 08:59

YABU. It's such a non-issue and a rather ridiculous thing to worry about.

And as it happens. I work in a child educational field, if that means what I think you meant.

SoupDragon · 22/04/2017 09:00

How would you feel if they decided they didn't like the name you choose for your child and decided to call them something else?

They have decided those names are what they want to be called instead of Grandma and Grandad. That is their right.

DCs have Grandma and Grandad (my parents) and two completely different nicknames chosen by their father's parents. I couldn't give a stuff. XH named his maternal grandfather with a "baby talk" name that stuck for other grandchildren to use. It wasn't "baby talk" though as it became his name.

SarahS2404 · 22/04/2017 09:00

In my family my auntie (allyson) is called auntie lal as none of us as young children could pronounce her name. It's been her 'nickname' for nearly 50 years now since my mum&2 aunties were young and couldn't pronounce her name.

I don't see the harm personally, bad habit or not

usernumbernine · 22/04/2017 09:00

yeah I'm sure you get it by now but yabu