To stop the 'nicknames'?

[PrtyPsn]

Expecting DS1 very soon and starting to think about when he's here.
OH's parents already have grandchildren from his siblings. When their first grandchild was learning to talk, they mispronounced 'Granny' and 'Grandpa' (as young children often do) it was cute and funny at the time but the in laws encouraged it.
Now, several grandchildren later (all at an age of speaking perfectly well) they all still refer to their grandparents as these mispronunciations.
It really grates on me - I come from a child education background so I know how frustrating it is when children use alternative words for something and teaching children to mispronounce a word is a big pet hate of mine.
So, AIBU to ask them to stop this for my child? It's not a habit I want him to fall into and definitely not something that will happen with any other family members but it's clear they like it as they've done it for years.

my son, my parents first grandchild, called my dad gandor, now all the other grandchildren do aswell, I love it

Well I do in part sympathise. Baby talk is cute from babies but a bit lip curling from adults I find (someone I work with talks about having chocky bikkies with nana.)

The thing about the mispronunciation here is OPs child didn't mispronounce it - another grandchild did.

That being said it would be a shame for OPs boy to be the only one saying grandma while everyone else says Nangie or whatever.

These days it's not unusual for a child to have several grandmothers /step grandmothers /great grandmothers. So not unusual for children to call them things other than Granny or Grandpa.
Children work it out fairly quickly that their friend's Gammy is the same thing as their own Grandy

Ds couldn't pronounce his sister's name properly when he was wee and to this day she is known as Dodies or Dodes.she is 26!

I think you don't need to decide now. You call them whatever you want to call them. Your kid will call them whatever he/she chooses. You don't need to correct them either way - they'll definitely work it out.

(I don't work in the child education field though, so what do I know?)

The thing about the mispronunciation here is OPs child didn't mispronounce it - another grandchild did.

It doesn't matter. That is what the grandparents have decided they want to be called. No one else gets a say.

PrtyPsn, I totally get where you are coming from in terms of mispronouncing words, using the example of 'pacific'/'specific' as someone did upthread.
Nicknames for people children love and who are involved in their lives are something different though. From an Early Years point of view, they help create a sense of identity and belonging.
I love reading all the little family in jokes that have built up from mispronunciation!

OP, Don't you think language and imagination develops through these family 'in jokes'.
Much healthier and often replaces the use of 'choo choo' for train for instance.

Yabu. It doesnt matter at all, to you, if they prefer that name.

Its their name. Its not going to cause your child speech problems or indeed any problems at all.

The thing is, it's not like mispronouncing a normal word, like a child who calls it pasghetti and then learns that it's called spaghetti. The nickname becomes their name and it's quite difficult to call someone something else once you have started. Is the nickname itself something awful? I think it's just like any other term of endearment.

Im in my 50s and called my gd a name that was a shortened childish version..He is long dead ut l still get a warm feeling in my tummy when l think of that name. Doubt any other gd had it. Im with you with baby talk generally and lm in the education field but would relax about the pet names. They are comforting in a way and sort of give special meaning to the relationship.

So, you want the whole family really to not use the names they gave been using for some time? My dm isn't the traditional "granny" name and the entire extended family call her by this nickname. Why should my children call her "grant" when everyone (including herself) refers to her by the nn? My dc and the other gc don't have a granny like everyone else, they have something special!

i hate "grandma" but dh's dm likes to be called that. my dc weren't the first gc so that is what she is.

you wouldn't like my name. however it happens to be my name and i'll be damned if i should change it because it doesn't suit what you deem is suitable for language development.

as a pp has alluded to, you are good in to look like you have some thing stuck where the sun don't shine, and probably irrevocably damage your dc and dh relationship with this side of the family. And no i'm not over exaggerating, but hell each to their own.

Surely the correct thing is to call people by their preferred title/name not somebody else's?
My MIL didn't like granny so has a made up version that is used still. My mother disliked granny and grandma. She preferred nanny (which I think is a paid childcarer or a female goat ). She thinks nanny demonstrates a warmer relationship, I think it's common. She is definitely nanny as it's her choice and I cringe quietly.

Mine needed nicknames - my parents got remarried to others so often!! Gran and Grandad- stayed for DH side (they were a bit "old" fashioned grandparents anyhow... )

mine were Granny and Grampy. Then we had a grandma, then a nanna, then a nin, then a grandpa, then an opa. (they still have a Gran, a Granny, an Opa and a Grandma)

You need to think more deeply about why it's OK for them to mispronounce these particular words.

It's because (IMO) anyone can be a Granny or Grandpa, but the mispronounciation is special because it's a unique name for these particular grandparents. It represents their special bond. That's why they encourage it. It's nice!

For some unfathomable reason I called my Grandfather 'Bapu'
I was the first grandchild quickly followed by several more who all called him Bapu. We all referred to him as 'my grandpa' when talking about him but everyone called him Bapu. It really wasn't an issue because nobody made it one.

Yeah, I'm also from a "child education background" (I'm a primary school teacher) and some words that are mispronounced like this just become family words.

We have a few words in our family lexicon that you won't find in a dictionary because they are words my son mispronounced from being a toddler and we just kind of ran with it.

Obviously, you correct the majority of words, but something like the nickname of a family member is no big deal. When the world is full of "granny"s and "grandpa"s, it's nice to have something that makes yours a bit more unique.

Ok I will start by saying that I agree with you disliking the silly names and I would also prefer my DC to use normal names as I hate such twee-ness, it makes me cringe.

But... what the grandparents want to be called is up to them I'm afraid.

Also, as these names are well established with the older grandchildren, I would be worried that making a stand and making my DC different could in some subtle way make their relationships less close than those of the others.

The reason you are getting harsh replies is the nonsense you are spouting about this having any impact on their language development. These are annoying nicknames, that's it.

You need to just accept it and get on with it. If I were you I would probably refer to 'your grandmother and grandfather' when talking to my DC but not correct their use of the name they use for them.

We still use the mispronounced names for our children that they gave each other. I think most families do that

eg my cousin is Matmoo, because his sister couldn't say Matthew

Don't worry, OP, if you insist on making a big thing of this, I'm sure it won't be long before the rest of the family will have a couple of nicknames for you! 😉

'The child who is loved has many names.' (Anne Fine)

The parent or grandparent who is loved also has many names.

There is also Alice in Wonderland.

"'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'
'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.'"

So, language is powerful. As a mother you wish to be master and choose the words your daughter uses.

This is nothing. I mean absolutely nothing to do with you.

You aren't parents yet. You sound very much like the people, who believe they will make perfect parents.

Chill out!

Pandasrock - you've reminded me that at 50+ (), I still often within the family jokingly refer to rhubarb as barbrhub.

My English teacher mother set a dreadful example as that was who I got the habit from ("...from whom I got the habit" )

She was a brilliant teacher and I still hear of people on different fora, or get former pupils of hers contacting me via Facebook (the benefit of having a unique surname), describing how much of an inspiration she was and how much she inspired a life long love of English (even those who went on to study Sciences or go on to be front man for Wet Wet Wet )

Mispronouncing names is different from getting the correct name for a thing wrong, we call people things other than their real name all the time.

Calling DH father Grandpo is not the same as calling scissors skissors.

Actually its up to the grandparents to decide what they want to be called.
You decide if your child is going to call you Mum or Mummy or Mater or Doris. The GP decide what they want