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AIBU?

He said I'm bad in bed

165 replies

Beforethelastpetalfalls · 20/04/2017 22:28

Been seeing one guy on and off for a couple of months. He's text me to say I'm bad in bed and I just lie there.

Every single time I've tried to get on top I'm told no because he likes to be in control.

I've give him a blowjob every single time and he's never once gone down on me.

I'm so pissed off. I feel like I've been told I played a shit match when I was benched throughout the whole game.

OP posts:

Report

purplecoathanger · 21/04/2017 08:26

Don't even reply to this, you're worth more than that. Delete his text and block him.

Onwards and forwards, don't look back.

00100001 · 21/04/2017 09:02

hissy

x2boys · 21/04/2017 09:05

yeah i agree TheNaze73 any comeback looks contrived and shows your bothered just ignore the twat its his problem not yours dont lower yourself to his level.

ScrambledSmegs · 21/04/2017 09:08

'Yeah, you don't do it for me either. Bye'

Although quite frankly I'm on the side of 'Ok fine' and then block. Anything more looks like you care.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 21/04/2017 10:11

I absolutely wouldn't go down the "you've got a tiny penis" route. It's such an obvious thing that some women would say to upset men, which in itself shows the man how upset they are. It's also unlikely to be true and the man will know that. The "who is this" is equally unlikely and is so obviously trying too hard to look not bothered, so by default showing you are bothered. Far better to simply ignore. Nothing worse than being ignored when you've poked the hornets' nest, and he probably really wants a response. What an anticlimax

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 21/04/2017 12:32

I actually stopped dating someone a couple of years ago because after i saw how tiny their penis was i couldn't see how it would work?! I sent a few excuses along the lines of we lived too far away feom each ofher, not aure we had the same life goals and he pushed and pushed then turned nasty saying inwas damaged. Felt i couldnt add at the point actually it is your penis. It cant be two inches long hard. Mamas got needs. So i just blocked and deleted.

DuckDonald · 21/04/2017 14:54

'I'm really sorry - I'm not very good with a small penis, I'm always worried it will slip out'.

youwouldthink · 21/04/2017 15:37

Who is this? ..Best response ever! (grin)

SheSaidHeSaid · 21/04/2017 15:41

He's obviously set out to hurt you.

'New phone, who is this?' Would be the best answer or some for of blasé comment that makes it seem you don't give a f.

AlternativeTentacle · 21/04/2017 16:43

My take on it is 'who is this?' suggests he has already been deleted from phone contacts...

Yes exactly.

And you can follow it up with a 'Well, I don't remember any sex but if you say so. Perhaps I fell asleep???'

feathermucker · 21/04/2017 16:45

Do not go anywhere near this man again OP.

NavyandWhite · 21/04/2017 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LiarLawyer · 21/04/2017 16:57

Tell him you faked every orgasm with him.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/04/2017 17:14

Wow just wave bye bye to this one.

Arkhamasylum · 21/04/2017 17:20

Mmm. See, I thought one person being 'in control' in bed was a mutual decision if that's what two people wanted. It's quite different from him telling you what to do for his maximum enjoyment. Your imagery is telling - he's the player manager and you're a substitute.

I'd be really tempted to go with 'who is this'. Leave out the question mark as it removes the sense of curiosity. You should probably just ignore him though. Bad manners out of bed as well as in it. He must have been a thoroughly crap shag.

Arkhamasylum · 21/04/2017 17:23

Or you could tell him that giving him blowjobs made you nervous because you were worried his penis would get stuck between your teeth.

wheatchief · 21/04/2017 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyandWhite · 21/04/2017 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittybiscuits · 21/04/2017 17:47

Arkhamasylum

You could say 'I agree the sex was crap. Child maintenance will be in touch to collect maintenance when twins are born'

Mylittlestsunshine · 21/04/2017 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jellycatspyjamas · 21/04/2017 18:10

I'd reply along the lines of "if the sex is so bad you'll not miss it". and leave it, and him, there.

picklemepopcorn · 21/04/2017 18:22

"You made it hard to get excited, TBH. Glad you saved me the effort. x."

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UnicornButtplug · 21/04/2017 18:27

I was hoping if I lay still you might eventually find my clitorus.... you didn't.

I agree, you don't do anything for me either. Bye.

Takes two babe ;)

But I think the best course of action is block and delete . Life is too short for bad sec and it does sound like you weren't getting anything out of it either.

Grilledaubergines · 21/04/2017 19:10

"Well, it was difficult to any muster enthusiasm so I mentally wrote my shopping list."

picklemepopcorn · 21/04/2017 19:19

Gosh, I wish I was still in the market to be dumped, so I could use some of these!

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