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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she should have informed me her kids are unvaccinated?

420 replies

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 08:24

I went to antenatal yoga with a lovely teacher, who then visited my house with her two children once my baby was born. I also attended her baby group several times with my DS, and her children were also present.

I've just found out that she's an anti-vaxxer, and I cannot stop thinking about the fact that she exposed my tiny baby to her unvaccinated kids, without my knowledge! AIBU to think she should have informed me before bringing her kids to my house, knowing my baby was too young to have been vaccinated yet?

And what about all the babies at the group - I get that it's her personal choice to not vaccinate (though I am vehemently against it) but as she is acting in a professional capacity surely she should be informing parents that her unvaccinated children will be there? I certainly would have thought twice about taking my DS before his vaccinations.

OP posts:

nokidshere · 20/04/2017 09:07

Given the hysteria shown on mn when someone's friends cousin twice removed dares to go out in public because a sibling of theirs has chickenpox I'm surprised at the responses here.

She runs baby groups for newborns. She has no idea, just like the rest of us, if her child has been in contact with an infectious person. Her classes should be for other like minded people or she should disclose to parents of children who have not yet been vaccinated that hers haven't.

If she was a random person you just met in daily life that's a completely different scenario.

NinjaLeprechaun · 20/04/2017 09:07

I feel the need to point out that anti-bac gel isn't going to do anything against viruses.

NauticalDisaster · 20/04/2017 09:08

YANBU she is running a class for newborns and should be providing full disclosure so parents can decided whether or not to attend. I would be contacting the Environmental Health department of the local authority.

UppityHumpty · 20/04/2017 09:09

Contact the venue where she has her classes. Contact a local yoga group if available. Contact the local council. Definitely leave a Google or Trustedpilot review

BettyInc · 20/04/2017 09:11

YABU. Her kids aren't harbouring little germs. They just don't have protection if THEY were to catch it.

I'm 10000% pro vax by the way.

PupPupBoogie · 20/04/2017 09:13

It's being in contact with the illness that causes it. Not being around unvaccinated kids.

BalloonSlayer · 20/04/2017 09:13

But surely the whole point of being an anti-vaxxer is that she thinks that vaccines are bad, and that no harm whatsoever will come to anyone from her DCs - or anyone else's DCs - being unvaccinated.

So to expect her to have the mindset of: "I had better warn InMemoryofSleep that my children are unvaccinated so she is aware of the danger" is ridiculous. To her there simply is no danger.

The best analogy I can think of is this: back in the days before it was the law that you had to wear a seatbelt, I knew plenty of people who never wore them and who fervently believed that seatbelts were pointless and even dangerous, eg they might argue they stopped you getting out of a car in a hurry. Someone like that would not think to warn you that a car they were driving your DC home in did not have seatbelts, because they simply did not believe it was a safety issue.

PurpleDaisies · 20/04/2017 09:14

Have you posted about this before? I'm sure there was another thread about an anti vax pregnancy yoga teacher.

BalloonSlayer · 20/04/2017 09:14

Oh and BTW in case it looks like I am defending her I am definitely pro-vac.

Original poster

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 09:15

@BettyInc & @PupPupBoogie but she would have no way of knowing if her kids were ill. Many of these diseases are asymptomatic initially, which is why they're so contagious - by the time symptoms appear the ill person has usually been in contact with numerous other people, not knowing they were unwell.

OP posts:

musicposy · 20/04/2017 09:16

You do realise that most of the older generation won't have had these vaccines, don't you?im just wondering what the difference is between those children and grandparents or other older relatives. Even other parents won't have had the same vaccines.

Original poster

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 09:16

@PurpleDaisies no I haven't posted, but someone else mentioned there was another similar thread - I'd be interested to read it if anyone has the link!

OP posts:

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 20/04/2017 09:19

a thread with exactly the same premise was on here few months back! It was a out a fitness class teacher too.

Cheby · 20/04/2017 09:20

She isn't incredibly unreasonable to run a baby group for newborns and born disclose her antivax views. For one thing, I would never want to give someone like that my money or support. But the main thing is she is putting those babies at risk.

Has she got a Facebook page for her classes? I'd be leaving a very clear review.

Likeaninjanow · 20/04/2017 09:21

The MMR is given until 12 Months I believe. Does that mean you won't be going to any baby groups, as none of them will have had that yet? Confused

Cheby · 20/04/2017 09:22

musicposy the difference is that the diseases are mostly spread in populations of children, and also a good proportion of older people will have had measles, chicken pox, mumps etc during childhood, so will be immune.

KurriKurri · 20/04/2017 09:23

Anyone who decides to put others at risk and not tell them is selfish IMO. And to deliberately bring your unvaccinated children to the home of a newborn is extremely so. Everyone has the right to choose whether they vaccinate their kids of course, but then the parents of as yet unvaccinated newborns also should have the choice of whether they want them exposed to an unecessary risk.

Newborns are vulnerable and unprotected - as are people with compromised immunity, no one has the right to put them at risk. If you choose non vaccination then you should inform those with vulnerable people in their house - it's hardly betraying a medical confidence to say your child hasn't had a particular medical procedure, because nothing medical has taken place.

As for the argument of 'I didn't have the vaccines kids had today because I am older' This applies to me - I;m in my fifties. I didn't have the vaccines - I had the diseases - measles, chickenpox, mumps,rubella and whooping cough (which I caught before vaccination, I missed most of what should have been my first year at school, and was left with permanent scarring on my lung)

My Mother lived in the age before diptheria vaccs, she remembers escorting a poorly child home from school one day and then her own mother being in a state of terror because that child (who was thought to just be a bit under the weather) died a couple of days later from diptheria.

That's what life was like before vaccs.

It's everyone's individual choice, but don't let your rights remove other peoples rights to risk reducing knowledge.

peggyundercrackers · 20/04/2017 09:29

YABU - as someone else pointed out some vaccinations aren't given until 12 months - what are you going to do then? avoid everyone? walk around in a space suit so your protected? why are so many people furious all the time?

from the minute your baby was born, in a hospital I imagine, there will be people who are ill all around them - you cant stop virus's travelling through the air, everyone is open to them all the time.

stop being a loon!

bumbleymummy · 20/04/2017 09:30

It seems like you are assuming that her children are carrying all these viruses around with them because they haven't been vaccinated. If that was the case then many older children/adults would be the same. This isn't the case.

It's also worth considering how you would feel if her children couldn't be vaccinated for medical reasons. Would you still want to avoid them? Technically they still pose the same 'risk' to your children whether they're unvaccinated through choice or because it's been medically advised.

GohomeRoger · 20/04/2017 09:35

Shedding the virus after having a live vaccination isn't a load of old clap trap I'm afraid. I'm immune comprised and I've been told by my consultants not to come in contact with anyone who has had a live vaccination in the weeks prior as they shed the virus and I would be at risk of becoming seriously ill. As a result of this my youngest two haven't been vaccinated with MMR. I'm not happy about this at all, and I'm definitely not an anti vaxer.

BollardDodger · 20/04/2017 09:36

If your you don't want your baby around unvaccinated kids, you need to ask whether they're unvaccinated or not rather than expected to be told. After all, there might be kids around who may be unvaccinated for medical reasons.

BishopBrennansArse · 20/04/2017 09:38

YABU.

On a trip to the average shopping centre you will encounter several unvaccinated people.

Some like my DD are unable to be vaccinated for medical reasons and are relying on herd immunity.

Others not.

AntiHop · 20/04/2017 09:39

I would be furious. It's totally irresponsible to run a group with new born babies and bring your unvaccinated children.

Original poster

InMemoryOfSleep · 20/04/2017 09:42

@BishopBrennansArse but she came to my home, surely you can see that this is completely different?

OP posts:

bumbleymummy · 20/04/2017 09:43

Why? Would you not allow BishopBrennan's DD near your child?

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