AIBU with my friends?

[PhyllisNights]

I'm the first one in my social group to get pregnant. I talk to my friends on a daily basis through WhatsApp and see them all in person at least once a week.

As it's my first pregnancy, I'm very excited. I can't stop talking about it. I'm so lucky, so happy, so fortunate & so privileged. My baby feels so special, like I know my baby will do something incredible in this world - I can feel it!!

And yet, my friends have started to turn on me. They've become very jealous. They make snide remarks, they mimick me & give me side eye. I feel like my pregnancy is the butt of all the jokes.

I can't help that I've been so blessed and so fortunate to get pregnant out of my friends first. I went to college, uni, started a professional career first & got married first. I've just always been up step ahead - I can't help it!!

Would it be unreasonable to sit my friends down and ask them to stop being so negative? I want to ask them to support me better and help me out.

[GaelicSiog]

That actually sounds highly sensible, up. Although I fear SIL has taken it to extremes. I'm starting to think SIL is the root of OP's problems

[OnTheUp13]

Ah see Toddler OnTheUp hates having her hair brushed and it doesn't mean we let her run around with matted hair because she doesn't like it. Oh no that kind of fuckery would send Irish MIL into a blessing frenzy!

[OnTheUp13]

I suspect OPs SIL doesn't agree with children being told No, being respectful, saying please and thank you unless they want to etc. This is just 🔔🔚 parenting.


However I'm also partial to Organic Child Rearing AKA Benign Neglect

[GaelicSiog]

[https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2909579-Fajita-Friday-2-0-aka-Celtic-kitchen-baby-shower-extravaganza-the-second?watched=1&msgid=68505026#68505026] new thread. I'm tired and we hit 40, what can I say

[GaelicSiog]

Oh ffs did it again [https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2909579-Fajita-Friday-2-0-aka-Celtic-kitchen-baby-shower-extravaganza-the-second?watched=1&msgid=68505026#68505026]. @phyllis please do let us know how fajita Friday went. We really do want to help you. High expectations and pregnancy do not mix well.

[GaelicSiog]

[https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2909579-Fajita-Friday-2-0-aka-Celtic-kitchen-baby-shower-extravaganza-the-second?watched=1&msgid=68505026#68505026]. Grrrrr

[GaelicSiog]

Ok, last try [https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2909579-Fajita-Friday-2-0-aka-Celtic-kitchen-baby-shower-extravaganza-the-second?watched=1&msgid=68505026#68505026]

[GaelicSiog]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2909579-Fajita-Friday-2-0-aka-Celtic-kitchen-baby-shower-extravaganza-the-second?watched=1&msgid=68505026#68505026

[PhyllisNights]

Fajita Friday went really well. The main conversation with my friends was surrounding one of the groups weight loss plans since we went to NY last year. She hasn't made much progress and everyone was trying to be supportive. Usually, I would be more to the point, but I took the advice of many from this thread and listened to what she was saying. I gave her advice on her current diet, ensuring that she understood the importance of a good balanced diet (more fruit and veg, less cake and doritos!). Her birthday is soon, so I may get her the 5:2 diet book (which I hear is really good), but I'm worried it may be a tad insensitive.

Whilst I was contemplating my confrontation on recent attitudes, I overheard a separate conversation in which I realised everyone had recently met up without me. From what I gathered, it was at least twice. I know they're planning on going to the annual group holiday this year, and they don't want me to feel bad about not going. I mentioned how one of my sister in law's friends had recently hired out half of a pub for the evening for someone's baby shower. I planted the seed, so hopefully they'll discuss it when they're meeting up separately to plan their holiday!

No one asked about my pregnancy, which I found quite funny given that I was sat there with a bump in plain sight! I decided to just let it go for the evening, and just relax. I was a bit upset with how inconsiderate some of them were being, though. One of the girls kept budging past my seat every time they went to get up (I don't like the bump banging into surfaces), and the host kept going out to smoke, but was leaving the French doors open! I know it's her house, but I could still smell the cigarette smoke, and she shouldn't really be smoking anywhere near someone who is pregnant.

As for my friend's kitchen extension, she is extending out to the right. There was some trouble with the planning permission because the lady next door is 90 and her kids keep interfering (I think they're worried about the house devaluing and them losing inheritance). Regarding the jokes about a floating microwave, I believe the microwave is going to be in a wall and apart of the oven, like they'll be a microwave, grill & then main oven going down.

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

Wow. Just wow.

[FaithAgain]

Indeed Pickle.

Phyllis don't buy your friend that book. I know you're trying to help but it will not come across the way you intend it to. I'm bemused that you say it went well and then complained about your friends?!

[GaelicSiog]

Oh Phyllis, I know we've had our disagreements, but I'm glad you're back.

Don't buy her the book. Please. Just don't.

I'm glad it went well. Although maybe don't get your hopes up about the baby shower. Will you expect the host to pay for the hall?

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

I'm
Glad it went well.
One of the main reasons it went well
Was possibly that everyone felt
Included in the conversation? That it
Was lots of people chatting about this and that rather than baby? Or college diplomas?

[MadamePomfrey]

Your gut is right for once the book is a no no!!
If you want a baby shower I honestly think you should look else where for an organiser!
But most importantly I'm glad the microwave issue is sorted 😉

[Crapuccino]

I wish I'd been there for the magical moment where you told a grown woman struggling with her diet to eat less cake and Doritos...

[GaelicSiog]

Are you sure the meet ups were to discuss the holiday?

[Arkhamasylum]

OP, are you trying to cover all of the AIBU subjects in one thread? Any parking issues? Where are you going for Christmas?

[PhyllisNights]

In regards to healthy eating, I've never had to diet. I'm someone that can eat what they want. I've always had a naturally slim body (might not be the case post-baby!). In my friends position, it's been a long time since NY and there's no point in her going to her Slimming World every week to announce that she's lost a little, not lost anything or put on a little. There seems to be no actual change.

I presume the meet ups are to discuss the holiday. I can't imagine why else they wouldn't invite me as we've always all been so close. Like, this time last year we were discussing NY. They're going on a holiday this year, but they're not mentioning it when I'm there which I presume is because I won't fly or go abroad pregnant.

As for the baby shower, not sure I'd like a hall (makes me think of those grotty community centre places), but I wouldn't mind a nice family friendly independent pub like the one my sister in law goes to. I imagine my friends will pay for fee to hire out, but if they asked, I wouldn't have any problem with contributing.

[Crunchymum]

Just a wee observation. The OP doesn't talk in weeks?

So she is 5 and half months pregnant? Not "23w and 5d" (all women - when pregnant - could tell you their gestation in this way! To the actual day)

Although I think it was about 38.5 pages back we thought OP may be not completely genuine

[GaelicSiog]

I looked so impregnant before I had DD I didn't know I was. And yet I still had a baby belly after. I have still not worked out how this is possible

[DaviesMum]

Are you sure you only ever hurt your wrist from falling off a horse, OP?

It sounds like you've had one too many knocks to the noggin. Well, either that, or you're just a bit fucking loopy. Top marks for coming back and taking the shit you have, but the whiff of bullshit coming from my tablet makes me think either iSmell has been invented, or clearly you are just talking shit.

[peachgreen]

I know this is fake (sorry MNHQ, but come ON) and yet I'm still so infuriated by all OP's posts!