Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU with my friends?

999 replies

PhyllisNights · 19/04/2017 21:24

I'm the first one in my social group to get pregnant. I talk to my friends on a daily basis through WhatsApp and see them all in person at least once a week.

As it's my first pregnancy, I'm very excited. I can't stop talking about it. I'm so lucky, so happy, so fortunate & so privileged. My baby feels so special, like I know my baby will do something incredible in this world - I can feel it!!

And yet, my friends have started to turn on me. They've become very jealous. They make snide remarks, they mimick me & give me side eye. I feel like my pregnancy is the butt of all the jokes.

I can't help that I've been so blessed and so fortunate to get pregnant out of my friends first. I went to college, uni, started a professional career first & got married first. I've just always been up step ahead - I can't help it!!

Would it be unreasonable to sit my friends down and ask them to stop being so negative? I want to ask them to support me better and help me out.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
FaithAgain · 20/04/2017 19:58

ilkboo I went to baby shower recently. DD (4) was very disappointed that she couldn't come because she wanted to watch a baby having a shower Grin

EdmundCleverClogs · 20/04/2017 20:00

If you're actually for real, op, you are one of the most astonishingly self-absorbed people I've ever met in either real life or here. Just wow. You are not owed a baby shower and you certainly shouldn't expect gifts because you managed to get knocked up Hmm. Awful behaviour and attitude, I'm squirming in embarrassment on your behalf!

EdmundCleverClogs · 20/04/2017 20:04

Op, please watch this video. It was written especially for you it seems.

Chippednailvarnishing · 20/04/2017 20:04

Ahhh, come on now Edmund, compared to last night's first time poster who was dumping the DSS this is much more enjoyable.

my husband felt that was going too far he's not the only one OP.

Cococrumble · 20/04/2017 20:07

I have integrated appliances OP, can I come to your baby shower?

MSLehrerin · 20/04/2017 20:07

This thread is fab! My bet that it's a crowd of blokes in the pub having a bit of fun 😃 as nobody can possibly have got to the age of 29 with such a spectacular lack of self awareness.

wizzywig · 20/04/2017 20:11

Someone asked if op was haylee from maui. I think it is. She has visions...

EdmundCleverClogs · 20/04/2017 20:12

Chippednailvarnishing, oh this is certainly more enjoyable Grin. That other one made me very anger (especially the deletion message). But I'll shush now or I'll get in trouble Wink.

TheZeppo · 20/04/2017 20:13

Oh, it's fun Grin

And it's given me my new favourite poster. Not original OP. Smeaton is hilarious!

VikingLady · 20/04/2017 20:14

StillStayingClassy For the responses!

PasswordInvalid · 20/04/2017 20:19

I really wish you were my friend OP, then I could be one step ahead of you and dump your entitled arse!

Chippednailvarnishing · 20/04/2017 20:21

I'll jump right in and start off the wish list, John Lewis I'll have you know.

  1. this lovely bag, only £259. Bargain.
AIBU with my friends?
user1492692527 · 20/04/2017 20:22

Apparently they do showers for dogs now! JML have this lovely thing... www.jmldirect.com/pets/pet-grooming/woof-washer-360-outdoor-dog-shower/?gclid=CMeN8dXgs9MCFcUcGwodt_8MHQ&gclsrc=aw.ds

wizzywig · 20/04/2017 20:24

Yesss i was the first one to reply to op.
Anyway, Op please stop drip feeding! Fajita fridays, john lewis, city breaks, lavish wedding, what next?!. I think these mates of yours are users. They are happy to be rent a mates when you are paying for it.
P.s. do you have taco tuesdays too?

TooManyMugs · 20/04/2017 20:24

This thread has made my day Grin

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 20/04/2017 20:27

I'm not a comedian or some person making up stories to provoke a reaction. My sister in law and her friends don't go on mumsnet, so perhaps the people in my life have a different perspective? I'm not sure. I have discussed some of this stuff with people at work and no one has accused of being spoilt or entitled.

I'm not a bad person. I have direct debits to charities going out every month. I'm very giving with my friends and my family. I'm very interested in other people's lives and asking them how they are. This whole pregnancy isn't about me, it's about the baby. I just want to make sure that I have a support network when the baby is born. I want my friends to feel happy for me, and at the moment, I'm just not getting that. I genuinely hope they have children and that my child can become friends with their children.

I'll see how tomorrow night goes. Perhaps I won't need to return to this forum if things go well. I'm not going to start going on about my pregnancy or an upcoming baby shower (might just slip it into the conversation to gauge what they think).

OP posts:
frieda909 · 20/04/2017 20:30

Just read the whole thread and it's fabulous. Thank you, everyone.

There's a part of me, though, which is worried that you actually are real, OP. I certainly know a few people who could pretty much have written your post! I used to have a friend who often made it clear that she felt she'd 'won' at life because she got married young and had kids soon after. She made no effort to conceal her pity for me and seemed to think I must be awfully jealous. I wasn't. I was busy getting a Masters degree and landing my dream job at that time, but she couldn't have cared less about that. In her eyes I was a failure and a poor dried up spinster (aged 27 or so) because I hadn't 'achieved' all the things she saw as important.

We're no longer friends. Just a cautionary tale for you there.

Also, once you've asked 'when are you due?' and maybe 'have you decorated the nursery yet?' there's actually very little to say about someone else's pregnancy. Your friends can be excited for you without needing to talk about it all the time. Once you've had your baby you're going to find it hard to see your friends as much, so why not enjoy the opportunity to talk about something that isn't babies before that time comes?

And finally, baby showers are fucking awful as it is. Demanding that someone else throw you one? No, no, no. Do not even think about it.

PasswordInvalid · 20/04/2017 20:31

What have direct debits got to do with it?

Beeziekn33ze · 20/04/2017 20:32

OP - if it's all about the baby I've news for you - the baby really doesn't care whether there's a shower.

beargrass · 20/04/2017 20:34

As the OP says, everyone has their time to shine. And tonight indeed, most of MN has been blessed with a golden opportunity to do just that.

Crapuccino · 20/04/2017 20:35

*Phyllis: This whole pregnancy isn't about me, it's about the baby.

I just want [x].

I want [y],

I'm just not getting that*

^^ See any problems here?

GaelicSiog · 20/04/2017 20:35

Op. If you demand a baby shower, you will be returning to this forum. Please trust me on that.

If you want to start helping us out here, we could help you, you know.

Crapuccino · 20/04/2017 20:36

What fajitas do y'all make, OP? Chicken or steak or something fancier? I'm thinking of trying fried avocado in mine tomorrow night. Pushing it too far, maybe?

EdmundCleverClogs · 20/04/2017 20:36

I'm not a bad person. I have direct debits to charities going out every month.

Just.... what? I mean, what does that have to do with what kind of person you are? If I had written this whilst pregnant, I'd read it back and wonder how my friends hadn't disowned me by the time the sprog arrived. Do you honestly have no self awareness? Can you not see how horrifyingly boring you must be to your friends? Did you really imagine you'd get pregnant and be treated like some second coming of the Virgin Mary?

I mean this is hilarious to read, but if I was your friends, I'd actually be quite concerned with your delusions about how pregnant women should be treated. It doesn't make you a special flower in the slightest.

HazelBite · 20/04/2017 20:38

OP when i read this thread I thought you were not for real and that it was a wind up, but I actually think you are for real.
Have you really no self awareness?
What is important to you is not important to other people eg I do not wish any harm to my neighbour and I like her but the things that are important in her life to her are not really that important to me.
Why do you assume that your friends are not gaggling with excitement about your pregnancy, basically because its not really that important or interesting to them and why should it be?
Just give yourself a good shake and get real, and for goodness sake don't be so crass as to suggest someone throws you a baby shower!