AIBU to ask about confidentiality

[SoyaCoconutOrAlmond]

DH is an addict. Has been for a while. He managed to stop through sheer willpower and started again.

Clearly he needs professional help. Problem is he works for the NHS and people have been suspended/struck off for being addicted .

Is there any way he can obtain professional support without it compromising his career?

So it DOES affect your life, and your DC?

To be clear, I am not suggesting you do anything. But I keep asking you questions about how YOU feel, and you ignore them.

No problem, you owe me nothing - but you should examine your own position in all this.

Although, as an aside, I do wonder how you can be so sure his patients aren't at risk- either he is addicted to a drug that could impair his performance, or he isn't. Addicts are not reliable judges of their own competence- and you are relying on his judgement.

It doesn't affect the children as far as I know. It affects me because I love him, I'm worried about him.

I'm really not trying to be harsh for the sake of it, but I wonder if you realise what it's like at a hospital when patients get sick? Decisions need to be made with a sharp mind. They need to be communicated sensitively and clearly, with a kind and assertive manner. There needs to be the resilience to deal with situation after situation. You have just said that your DH's problem is affecting his sleep, his mood and his daily energy. So whether you think it is having an impact on his practice, I can assure you, as someone who works in that environment, it will be. If you needed hospital treatment, would you want to be treated by someone who hadn't slept well, was low in mood and generally low in energy? Of course not.

I understand you'd rather he came to his senses painlessly, it must be so hard.

I know but tiredness is par for the course for doctors, I think, and honestly I think he somehow holds it together at work.

I know you're not being harsh but I just can't even begin to contemplate something that might harm him in any way, I love him so so much, he's such a good man, he really is.

He is a good good man who is making poor poor choices.

I'm sure he is, and the stress of being a doctor is so immense. I was only thinking last night (I'm a nurse) how odd that in my 'day job' I regularly talk to people about the fact that their family members are not going to survive and take them through the process of treatment withdrawal. That for me, it hasn't been that unusual, over the years, to see dead bodies, but that's really odd...it's not normal to see dead bodies and find it normal. We take for granted the hard and stressful parts of our jobs and it's not that surprising that some people find themselves unable to cope with the extreme demands unless they do something drastic.

But, alongside the great demands of our jobs, we also have great privilege to be entrusted with the care of vulnerable people at their time of need. And we have to act with integrity and put the interests of our patient above our own interests, no matter how hard that is. I hope you get some sleep tonight