Holiday plans ruined

[winterbaby85]

I'm currently on maternity leave so money is tight due to one income. Myself and my husband discussed going on holiday this year but June July and August are out due to high prices and OHs work commitments. DS1 starts school in September so I looked at holidays over the October mid term and got a great deal so I booked it provisionally months ago after discussing it with OH. The holiday came up in conversation two weeks ago and OH goes what date is it again and I told him to which he goes I think that's the day I'm doing the marathon (which it is). I've now tried changing the dates/destination we go and it's working out approx £300 more which we can't afford. I don't understand why he didn't tell me the marathon was on when I discussed the holiday with him initially. There are a few runs and marathons he's doing this year and tbh I don't know the exact dates of them but he should have checked when I brought up booking the holiday for October.

[CottonSock]

I went on my holiday when my sis lost passport. Just me and baby. It was very hard work to be honest. He is being a prick, I'd go ballistic

[BarbaraofSeville]

Who have you booked with that you cancel at any time without penalty?

I was always under the impression that for flights at least, once you've booked, you've booked and you lose most/all of your money if you want to change or cancel. DPs work is quite unpredictable so we can't book until last minute, and then we still sometimes have to face him missing out on lucrative work projects from time to time. If there was an option where we could book and cancel if necessary without losing hundreds of pounds, it might make things easier.

Having said that, I still think you should have your holiday as planned and go on your own or with a friend/relative if your DH would rather do his marathon

[Seeingadistance]

Take a friend with you, and definitely you go on this holiday.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

We have a holiday booked like that with Booked.com, although that is in the UK so no issue with flights.

Not all the bookings are available like that, and often are a bit more than the standard price but not by much. Its useful if you want to book something because you will have the money but dont have it right now.

[juneau]

Could your mum/sister/friend go with you instead?

Lanzarote is lovely and very easy and relaxing. I'd go without him, but I think he's a selfish c* I'm afraid.

[Blatherskite]

This far out he should be able to defer his marathon place.

Holiday for the whole family trumps a marathon just for him and I say that as not only a runner but a marathon director too!

I actually got back from Lanzarote on Saturday morning. I was supposed to be doing a challenge run that afternoon but missed it because we were all tired. Family comes first.

2 days recovery is over the top too. I drove someone to the airport the day of her first marathon once so that she could fly to China the following morning. I know plenty of people who run another marathon the day after a marathon!!

[JaneEyre70]

Let him get a flight a few days later. You'll be fine OP.

[EweAreHere]

He sounds like a prize ass.

I'd still go. You'll be fine.

Can you invite someone else to go with you?

[DungballInADress]

"No you wont you'll bottle it."

Print off a map of the area around the hotel from Google. Mark a 26.2 mile route around it. Give it to him. Family holiday trumps marathon.

Alternatively, ask a friend/parent/sister if they want an AI holiday for the price of the name change. Take your children and have a lovely time without Marathon Man.

[alltouchedout]

Take someone else with you. Someone who is actually nice and supportive.

[Inertia]

Your husband is being an arse about this.

Do you have a supportive friend or relative who could come with you?

[ShoesHaveSouls]

Ugh, holiday would definitely trump marathon here - your DH is being a dick about this.

I would go on my own I wouldn't actually, I'd blow my stack and make DH come with us, but that's me

[BarbaraofSeville]

There is a marathon in Lanzarote. The route looks like it runs from the northern end of Costa Teguise to just before you get to Puerto del Carmen, so unless you are staying in Playa Blanca, quite likely to pass or go very near your hotel.

He could run that route while you are on holiday instead (I know it is not the same, but I still can't believe anyone (except a professional athlete) would want to do yet another marathon instead of going on holiday). Is it a partucularly significant marathon, or just one of many throughout the year?

[TheAntiBoop]

Just for that comment I would go on my own! What a disrespectful arsehole

I've travelled with my two at similar ages and similar distance - it was fine - and when you get there you can relax and just go with the flow. If you don't have a replacement can you get some of the money back for his ticket?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

You know why he is being gloatingly nasty about you "bottling it"? Its so your confidence is too low to actually go on your own.

He doesnt want you to go on your own because a man who puts a marathon over a whole family holiday is a prize shit. People will find out that you had to go alone and will think less of him. He knows this and doesnt like it, he doesnt want to be shown up as the selfish wanker he is. So if you dont go then no one will know that he put himself and his hobby above his whole family having a holiday together.

Make sure you go. He is playing chicken with you, so dont back down, dont blink.

[msrisotto]

Invite someone else? He sounds like an arsehole btw

[1bighappyfamily]

2 days recovery is over the top too. I drove someone to the airport the day of her first marathon once so that she could fly to China the following morning. I know plenty of people who run another marathon the day after a marathon!!

^^this. And my husband finished a marathon, rushed to an airport, got on a 4.5 hour flight home, got to bed at 11pm our time and went to work the following day.

Your "D"H is a fuckwit who clearly doesn't know how to train if he needs that degree of recovery.

[ThreeLeggedHaggis]

He sounds like a cunt.

Go without him and have a better time!

[Jaxhog]

If he won't go, take a friend.

[putdownyourphone]

He should pay off the extra to go at another time if you can't find anyone else to go with you

[kalinkafoxtrot45]

What a prick! Take a friend instead, if you can. And tell your selfish arse of a man to run a marathon off a short pier.

[BitOutOfPractice]

He sounds vile

[PurplePidjin]

You're on a massively tight budget and he's booked multiple races at £30-50 a go? Plus taking time out from family life when you have a 3 week old baby to train?!

Fuck. That.

Dh is a runner. This precedes our relationship and is very important to him - there have been several times I've virtually kicked him out the door to run because he's in a mood about something. We have a 4 and 1yo and he's decided for himself that he'll go for a full marathon next year not this like he planned because it takes him away from us too much. Because, y'know, grown up real life

[Crispbutty]

He should be able to get a single flight out to join you for next to nothing. One way with easyJet/monarch/Thomson are usually very cheap. Let him do his marathon and join you after.