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AIBU?

Holiday plans ruined

181 replies

winterbaby85 · 18/04/2017 07:22

I'm currently on maternity leave so money is tight due to one income. Myself and my husband discussed going on holiday this year but June July and August are out due to high prices and OHs work commitments. DS1 starts school in September so I looked at holidays over the October mid term and got a great deal so I booked it provisionally months ago after discussing it with OH. The holiday came up in conversation two weeks ago and OH goes what date is it again and I told him to which he goes I think that's the day I'm doing the marathon (which it is). I've now tried changing the dates/destination we go and it's working out approx £300 more which we can't afford. I don't understand why he didn't tell me the marathon was on when I discussed the holiday with him initially. There are a few runs and marathons he's doing this year and tbh I don't know the exact dates of them but he should have checked when I brought up booking the holiday for October.

OP posts:

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 18/04/2017 10:33

Marathons are expensive with rail fares and accommodation if not local so best he pulls out now and avoid wasting that money

I still can't get over the 2 days to recover bollocks thing. If lying by a pool and all you can eat inclusive isn't relaxing enough I don't know what he's hoping for... medically managed coma?

SquinkiesRule · 18/04/2017 10:51

I'd tell him, "enjoy your run, I'll be in the sun with the kids without you"
Dh used to try and pull crap like this, about going boating without us/kids in school etc. I told him to make sure he packed his stuff and that he and the boat will be very happy together.
Family trumps hobbies every day.
Take a friend or family member with you if you want to.

EweAreHere · 18/04/2017 10:56

I would tell him the family is going on holiday, and that the family holiday trumps the marathon. He can run anytime; family holidays are few and far between when you have limited funds. This one has been booked, he was consulted before you did it, so suck it up, and make nice.

If he's feeling the need to run, he can go for a run wherever you're staying.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/04/2017 10:57

Sure the holiday with sun, pool and unlimited food and drink will be a lovely relaxing recovery, but I can see how a 4/5 hour flight will be pretty uncomfortable post marathon.

Underparmummy · 18/04/2017 10:59

Leave DH at home and take a friend/mum/sister.

He's being a dick to priotise a race over a family holiday.

winterbaby85 · 18/04/2017 13:04

So I tried to discuss the holiday plans with him and told him I've tried my best to find a holiday for the same price or within reason (DH knows I'm good at finding bargains when I can) he refuses to pull out of marathon so I told him I was going with the two kids anyway and he goes to me no you won't you'll get to the airport and bottle it. You can't manage two kids on your own you're a stress head. My baby is only 3 weeks so obviously things have been a bit stressful/unorganised around here but I'm still really hurt.

OP posts:

Underparmummy · 18/04/2017 13:09

3 weeks is different to 6/7 months.

Is there someone else who would come with you? Just because some adult company is always good.

He has been quite rude to you here, I hope he apologises at a later date.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 18/04/2017 13:10

He's a nobber. Do you have a friend or relative you can't ask to come with you? Changing over flight and accommodation names would still cost but not that much.

If there's wifi I'll come with you

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 18/04/2017 13:11

If you're going all inclusive there's probably a baby club and kids club on site so you'll be fine.

Chloe84 · 18/04/2017 13:12

It was HIS responsibility to check the dates worked for him. He said they did. HE fucked up. Now he expects you to sort it all?

Please find someone else to go with you and never do the fucker another favour again.

KatharinaRosalie · 18/04/2017 13:13

Can you take a helpful friend instead?

AnnaleeP · 18/04/2017 13:15

I hope you find someone else to come with you and come October he gets injured and can't run. Nothing serious, just something that definitely requires rest for a month.

That will be such a shame, no marathon, no holiday, just sitting on the sofa all by himself.

KatharinaRosalie · 18/04/2017 13:17

So what does he actually suggest? That you all must cancel the holiday because he wants to go for a run? It's not some kind of once in a lifetime opportunity, there is some marathon or the other pretty much every day.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 18/04/2017 13:19

With each post you make OP I take a bigger dislike to him .

clippityclock · 18/04/2017 13:19

He is an arsehole!! Not very helpful but what a selfish prick!! Do not let him belittle you.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 18/04/2017 13:20

Shin splints will do it AnnaleeP.

Xmasbaby11 · 18/04/2017 13:23

If he wouldn't go with you, I'd cancel the holiday. It's no holiday being the only adult with two young dc! That's my feeling anyway. But I'd be mightily pissed off. I cannot imagine my dh acting this way.

Topuptheglass · 18/04/2017 13:23

Does he want you to cancel?

will you not lose money pointlessly in that case?

elQuintoConyo · 18/04/2017 13:23

Show him Dover cliffs and yell him to run a marathon over that

I think if you went alone it would give you a nice confidence boost, a lovely bonding holiday with your two littlies and two large fingers to your DP. If you figure out how to minimise stress during the flight over, the rest should be fairly plain sailing.

winterbaby85 · 18/04/2017 13:25

It's booked but has free cancellation up to 24 hours before travel and also pay at hotel on arrival given us time to save. If I cancel it won't cost a penny but unfortunately the price shoots up by changing the date of travel

OP posts:

edwinbear · 18/04/2017 13:25

OP go on your own - and don't you dare bottle it at the airport! You will be absolutely fine just the 3 of you. Baby will be in a relatively predictable routine by then and it will teach Your DH a valuable lesson!

Guitargirl · 18/04/2017 13:31

Your husband's fuckwittery in your last post OP would be like a red rag to a bull to me.

Go on the holiday and prove the fucker wrong - arrogant jogging tosser.

Disclaimer: Theresa May might have put me in an absolutely stinking mood...

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expatinscotland · 18/04/2017 13:33

'he refuses to pull out of marathon so I told him I was going with the two kids anyway and he goes to me no you won't you'll get to the airport and bottle it. You can't manage two kids on your own '

What an arsehole! Can you get someone else to go?

DartmoorDoughnut · 18/04/2017 13:34

Try and get a friend to come instead? Think I've read it's about £60 to change the name?

CoolCarrie · 18/04/2017 13:37

He is a selfish git if he doesn't drop the marathon. It will be a marathon for you coping with the dc. I would be raging with him if he doesn't put his family holiday first.

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