Holiday plans ruined

[winterbaby85]

I'm currently on maternity leave so money is tight due to one income. Myself and my husband discussed going on holiday this year but June July and August are out due to high prices and OHs work commitments. DS1 starts school in September so I looked at holidays over the October mid term and got a great deal so I booked it provisionally months ago after discussing it with OH. The holiday came up in conversation two weeks ago and OH goes what date is it again and I told him to which he goes I think that's the day I'm doing the marathon (which it is). I've now tried changing the dates/destination we go and it's working out approx £300 more which we can't afford. I don't understand why he didn't tell me the marathon was on when I discussed the holiday with him initially. There are a few runs and marathons he's doing this year and tbh I don't know the exact dates of them but he should have checked when I brought up booking the holiday for October.

Go for a run? Or go on holiday? Let me think about that one... 🌞

Holiday would trump a run any day. Unless he's a paid Olympic athlete?

I'm not sure whether he had it booked before holiday but I was very clear on the dates I was looking at for the holiday so he could have said then I think that's the weekend of the marathon or can you wait till I find out the date of the marathon till you book it. He's also suggested I change holiday to a week DS is in school as its only his first year. I'm open to letting DS have one day off school either the day before or day after the holiday but not a week

October is the start of marathon season really. So he will train over summer (tough to do)

There's quite a few biggish ones so for me it would depend

He could easily have booked this a year ago as most need advance booking.

Where's the holiday to and where's the race?

He needs to drop the race. It's not like there's only one.

The holiday is to lanzarote leaving the Friday the kids start the midterm and for 9 nights all inclusive which I though would cut down on spending money needed

I think that your husband should just go away with you all - its hard getting the perfect break when you have kids at school - it does tie you down to the their holidays. He should just suck it up this time, invest in a big calander for next year or sit in with you when you book it all up next time around/

He needs to give the marathon a miss and don't be changing what you've booked.

Flying with a baby, 5 YO and luggage on your own will be difficult if not impossible and who in their right mind would give up Lanzarote in October to run a marathon.

Ach we accidentally double book regularly, and I think my friends do too. The classic one is we jiggle something for work and something for school, and fail to notice the new plans clash with each other. No need to chuck a load of blame and ire around. However he should give this particular marathon a miss IMO.

One additional flight to Lanzarote on the Sunday if the race is on the Saturday? You all go on Friday as planned and he joins you for 7 days?

No brainer! The FAMILY holidays takes precedent.

I'd go without him but wouldn't be impressed if he didn't cancel the marathon.

He wants two days to recover afterwards. So I can't even change it for the next day. I'm gonna suggest going on my own and hope he sees sense before we go otherwise il be a very frustrated mammy at the airport with 2 DC in town

DH and I put everything into a google calendar that we share so we can check these things before booking.

Although I'm CRAP at checking so still double book

Any childess friends or family who might be glad of a cheap holiday?
But definitely go with or without him no reason everyone should miss out. If it is all inclusive do they have kids clubs? If so you can get a rest and won't be "on" all holiday

2 days to recover? What does it mean, he plans to sit on the sofa and not move for 2 days? As otherways going on holiday is not exactly climbing the Everest, it in fact counts as relaxation and recovery time (less so with small kids but still)

DH and I both run. Unless maybe it's one of those marathons where you have one chance per lifetime to participate, a run would be dropped in favour of family holiday, no questions asked.

Do you not discuss in more detail dates, venue, timings etc before booking?

From the OP first post:

I booked it provisionally months ago after discussing it with OH.

2 days to recover? He's got 7 days all inclusive in Lanzarote... if that's not the time to recover I don't know what is?!

He either flies out as planned or he flies out on the Sunday.

Either way he needs to stop being a twat.

What is the matter with him? Is he always a selfish prick?

Your dh should be able to realise that the family holiday comes first. However he obviously can't so you are going to have to say it loud and clear. Why would he think a race takes priority over a family holiday? Is his race a special one has he had sponsorship from it or are a lot of his colleagues taking part? Or is it just one of many?

People drop out of marathons all the time. Usually injury or illness but often other reasons.

Also a runner.

Seriously he is a vey selfish arse if he goes ahead with the marathon then has two days sat on his arse recovering.

Family holiday comes first.

You will doing this for years if you put up with it now. It's like the 2010's version of the 70's neglectful parenting - 'the cycling/running hobby'. There's so many of these family avoiding middle aged heart attacks on legs these days I like to imagine running some of them over when I'm driving my car.

Say either no marathon or he's going to find it hard to fit any running in with every other weekend, school hols & a couple of midweek overnights and mean it.

You should explain to him that he has booked onto the wrong event because he's going to be doing the high jump and not the marathon.

He wants 2 days to recover??. Wtf? Why can't he recover lying by a pool in Lanzarote? Go without him OP. I took dc of 7 & 5 to Gran Canria on my own last year as DH couldn't get the week off work. We had an awesome time and it really was no bother travelling without DH to help.

Good point fireplace. I wonder if the OP gets the equivalent time to do her own thing and money to spend that has gone on marathon entry fees.