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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd

58 replies

Realjournal123 · 17/04/2017 23:59

What do you do when you have cabin fever? I've been at home solid for the past 6 days, only going out to shop for more food. I've got my stepson staying for 10 days( hardly talks and lies around on the sofa in his pyjamas most of the day) which I can't stand as u feel it sets a bad example to my two daughters.
DP seems to be pissed off with me because I've gone quiet, he and his son went out yesterday to see his friend and his family, which I wasn't invited to, but was later told that he wants to invite them here and I have to make plenty of food.
I'm just fed up of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride! I'm always expected to put food on the table, be happy and friendly but don't get invited when there's something going on.
As I say I've got cabin fever and really need a day to myself. There will be questions from my kids etc if I just say I want to go out alone, DP will think I'm being difficult and moody- even though I say goodmorning and good evening to his son and never get a reply- quite ignorant- BUT- where can I go? What can I do? Would I look odd just wandering around shops etc aimlessly?
Money is very tight so I can't go shopping even spending a tenner. It's crazy-
What do other women do?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/04/2017 00:03

Get divorced?

Sorry but from the little bit you've written, cabin fever seems the least of your worries.

monkeywithacowface · 18/04/2017 00:06

Yeah agree with Worral on this one. You don't have cabin fever your married to a dick

Catherinebee85 · 18/04/2017 00:06

Why aren't you invited?
Why have you not been anywhere for 6 days?
Why have you got so little money?

A cuppa in a cafe might be an idea and of course it wouldn't look weird to wander round shops on your own....but I find window shopping pretty miserable when I'm skint.

PlanIsNoPlan · 18/04/2017 00:07

jigsaw? lego? Read a book? Plan your escape?

Luttrell · 18/04/2017 00:08

Where do you want to go? If you had no 'D'H controlling you, where would you go?

Then go there. Let him bitch about it. It will show you how controlling he is. Let him make his own family's food and ignore his lazy son. Go out with your girls. Start thinking about what kind of male role models they have in their life.

chastenedButStillSmiling · 18/04/2017 00:09

What have your 2 DD been doing the past 6 days?

And people invited back sounds fab, and like the answer to everything... except it shouldn't be you who caters. How's your DH contributing (in terms of who pays and who prepares)?

highinthesky · 18/04/2017 00:10

DP? If you're not actually married, it makes walking away from a bad situation that bit easier.

BackforGood · 18/04/2017 00:24

Agree with everyone else.
Why would you be expected to put on a load of food and not your dp?
How old is your stepson?
Why haven't you been out for 6 days?
Don't you take the dds out most days?
Is the 'not being invited anywhere' a regular thing then ? Why would anyone put up with that in a relationship ? Confused

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 18/04/2017 00:28

Does that mean your DDs haven't been out of the house for 6 days either? Jesus.

Just go for a walk or something!

AvaCrowder2 · 18/04/2017 00:29

Your problem here is your dp.

AcrossthePond55 · 18/04/2017 00:29

WWID? I'd take my DDs and leave.

What are you getting out of this relationship?

AvaCrowder2 · 18/04/2017 00:31

Or take the dc to the park.

Original poster
Realjournal123 · 18/04/2017 09:06

If I take the girls out to the beach or for a walk then they both say they're coming which intensely annoys me. It's just the same situation following me. It's awkward as hell.

OP posts:
Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 09:09

As he took his ds out yesterday then I declare today a girls day.

Even if it's get ready on the sly and leg it out the door!!

Original poster
Realjournal123 · 18/04/2017 09:16

Just mad- this is what i resort to doing but then he tells me to take his son as he wants him out from under his feet or I get funny looks as though I'm creating awkwardness. Can you believe his son is 28!!
Thus has gone in for years.

OP posts:
Revenant · 18/04/2017 09:18

And as to you "having" to make plenty of food for his friend and family when you weren't even invited on the visit - the response should surely be, screw that idea for a start

JustMyLuckUnfortunately · 18/04/2017 09:20

Does the 28 year old live with you or is he there on holiday?

You need to have a serious chat with DP about acceptable behaviour, your his equal not a maid.

Original poster
Realjournal123 · 18/04/2017 09:26

He's here for a week - DP doesn't normally ask me to make food for guests but it's just the way it was done that pisses me off.
As though I'm a maid. Exactly! He knows I'm annoyed so he said the usual 'I will cook' - he's a useless cook and it would be embarrassing if he cooked. I thought I'd cook and leave all of the clearing up to him.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 18/04/2017 09:30

Wow, you need to get out permanently.

For now, take the girls somewhere quickly and quietly and leave them both at home. Whilst the girls play you can plan your escape.

AdaColeman · 18/04/2017 09:30

The son is 28! I thought you were going to say 14.
The son can do the cooking when their friends visit!

You are being taken for a mug.

diodati · 18/04/2017 09:35

Wait; you're supposed to supply a ton of food but can't afford to spend a tenner on yourself? How does that make sense? Tell your partner to make the meal, grab some cash, ring a friend and do something fun.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 09:41

Take his ds to the chemist and look at all the sanitary products. Then drag him round clothes shops. And shoe shops. . And the loos at least 3 times. Then back to the first shop. .
Bet he stays home next time. .

witsender · 18/04/2017 10:01

Just go out! Even if the son does follow,surely it is better for you and the kids to get out of the house?

Willow2017 · 18/04/2017 11:01

What ??
He expects you to take his 28yr old sone out and entertain him? WTAF?

He is an adult he can entertain himself or your oh can 'entertain' him. He isnt a child, who takes a 28yr old out?

You seem to have bigger issues than this holiday.
Why have you no money?
Why is your oh going out without you if there is no money?
Why dont you just go out with the girls, your dh can't 'tell' you to take the man child too, just say no its a girls day out. What a waste of a holiday if its been spoiled like this.

Oh and his friends = his job to entertain them and if he is a crap cook thats too bad, you didnt get invited to go out with them why the hell should you spend your time being the hostess for them?

You really need to ask yourself what you are getting from this relationship apart from grief? YOu and your dds deserve better.

watchoutformybutt · 18/04/2017 11:04

Wait his son is 28?! Ohmygod just go out. Christ. I thought the son would be about 13. Tell him you're going out and just go.