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AIBU?

Wwyd

58 replies

Realjournal123 · 17/04/2017 23:59

What do you do when you have cabin fever? I've been at home solid for the past 6 days, only going out to shop for more food. I've got my stepson staying for 10 days( hardly talks and lies around on the sofa in his pyjamas most of the day) which I can't stand as u feel it sets a bad example to my two daughters.
DP seems to be pissed off with me because I've gone quiet, he and his son went out yesterday to see his friend and his family, which I wasn't invited to, but was later told that he wants to invite them here and I have to make plenty of food.
I'm just fed up of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride! I'm always expected to put food on the table, be happy and friendly but don't get invited when there's something going on.
As I say I've got cabin fever and really need a day to myself. There will be questions from my kids etc if I just say I want to go out alone, DP will think I'm being difficult and moody- even though I say goodmorning and good evening to his son and never get a reply- quite ignorant- BUT- where can I go? What can I do? Would I look odd just wandering around shops etc aimlessly?
Money is very tight so I can't go shopping even spending a tenner. It's crazy-
What do other women do?

OP posts:

Report

JustMyLuckUnfortunately · 19/04/2017 09:01

OP the more you add to this thread the more you & your DDs need a better environment.

There are lots of amazing posters on MN who have been through similar & built great safe lives. Although you've told the girls this behaviour is not ok and normal they will view it as ok if they continue to see it.

Look into separating and what you are entitled to. Speak to friends/family and ask if they can help. But get out of there

Religionorno · 18/04/2017 21:34

His son is 28, what the cut all fuck! I too thought he must be a kid! Just tell him you're having a girls' day out. I'm beyond appalled! I don't see this relationship lasting.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2017 21:22

He's as nasty as hell, you need to make plans to leave.

HerOtherHalf · 18/04/2017 19:39

....not good for you and not good for your daughters...

HerOtherHalf · 18/04/2017 19:38

Yes I'm financially dependant upon him.

It's not worth it and you don't need to be dependent on him. Honestly, you are miserable, he clearly doesn't love you or respect you. In fact it sounds like he doesn't even like you and enjoys putting you down. This is not good for you and it is not good for you. Nothing is going to change as long as you stay with him, surely you can see that. As frightening as it might be to make the break, and figure out how you'll fend for yourself, you need to do it before you lose the last shreds of your confidence and emotional resilience.

Catherinebee85 · 18/04/2017 19:27

Why are you with him?

HerBluebiro · 18/04/2017 19:26

Don't throw out all the food.

Anything in packets or wrapping (as raw meat should be) is fine. Fruit and veg can be washed. Personally I wouldn't worry about other things too much either as the cold will have stunned the flies. But I understand others worry more.

And eggs are fine for your daughters' tea tonight. Make an omelette or boiled eggs and soldiers.

Realjournal123 · 18/04/2017 19:25

Yes I'm financially dependant upon him.

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 18/04/2017 19:24

Good God. Why are you still there???

Realjournal123 · 18/04/2017 19:22

When the drive away today I felt free. I explained to my daughters (13 and 11) that this is not how it should be. That I have the lie to get out of the house without his son. He is staying with us for another week. He works, is quite arrogant at times and never replies when you say good morning, or when you give him food. He be also explained that this is not normal behaviour and that he is very rude. They understand- they're bright as buttons.
To top it all off, when I got home and he told me that only they had been invited out, I went to the fridge to make the girls some food.
I noticed 3 huge flies sitting on one of the shelves( I'm scrupulously clean btw). I immediately shut the door and said I'll have to throw away the contents of the fridge so what am I going to feed the girls? He quickly grabbed the car keys and began to leave. (Even his son said we'd better help) but he just left. I said 'you are the worst type to be in a relationship with', you're disgusting to leave us like this with no food and he said give them the eggs!! I said I hope your food chokes you!

OP posts:

yellowfrog · 18/04/2017 19:05

Seriously what the heck are you teaching your daughters by staying in this relationship?!

HerBluebiro · 18/04/2017 19:01

Why have you been in the house for 6days?

Where are you to get the money to buy the food for the party?

If your dp has offered to cook, why not take him up on it?

How old are your dd?

Why is the 28 year old hanging around the house hoping you will take him out for the day instead of meeting up with friends? When my dsis visits my parents they barely see her as she is out catching up with old friends.

To answer your question: when I get cabin fever I go out. For a long walk over the fields with my dog instead of his usual sort constitutional. Or I go to the garden centre and plan my ideal garden. I try not to buy anything (but fail. But it's amazing what is on offer for 1 or 2 pounds sometimes). I don't window shop or clothes shop because I hate it. Or I go to the library pick a trashy novel. Start it then take it home. But I'm rarely in for more than a day or so. If I'm getting bored I take photos on my phone and try to make them artistic.

So many more questions from me to you I know.

ExplodedCloud · 18/04/2017 18:58

Why don't you just say "Great. We'll come too" then?

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2017 18:52

Meant my goodness

IonaNE · 18/04/2017 18:51

What's the story with the 28-year-old? Has he not got a job? A partner? A life?

And OP, why are you putting up with all this?

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2017 18:50

My good news start making plans to leave him, he is treating you like crap.

disastrouslee · 18/04/2017 18:50

Yeah me Blether

Fuck him off OP. He's a twat. Why are you scared of being alone?

Aeroflotgirl · 18/04/2017 18:48

Sorry your being a doormat op, n you will not take his manchild 28 year old son with you, he is a grown adult, has he not got a life.start saying no!

usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 18:46

Walk away. Seriously just walk. No way would I be putting up with that.

ThreeLeggedHaggis · 18/04/2017 18:46

How do you combat this situation?

You kick him out and enjoy life with your daughters.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 18:44

Hard to believe, isn't it

Catherinebee85 · 18/04/2017 18:44

What the hell is wrong with this 28yr old man that he even wants to tag along with you and your daughters?

Why are you letting your husband isolate you from people and make your life so small and miserable that you have to come online to ask if it's ok to walk to the shops on your own?

And yes. I shouted 'twenty-flippin-eight' in my head

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HerOtherHalf · 18/04/2017 18:37

Why are you with him?

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2017 18:33

Did anyone else shout out loud, "His son's TWENTY EIGHT!"?

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 18:33

You don't even attempt to "combat" it

You walk away and leave the two manchildren to their own petty little lives

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