To not want to drive this far?

[Frickles]

MIL lives over 200 miles from us and it usually takes 6+ hours to get there when we visit once you factor in traffic, breaks for the DC (and us). We generally go there maybe once a year and the rest of the time she comes to us on the train (she doesn't drive) which is about a 3 hour trip.

She is turning 70 this summer and wants to have a big party, she's booked the date and wants us to go. Fine, except it's the Saturday before we go on our family holiday which was booked in December, long before we knew about the party. We leave for our holiday on the Tuesday after the party and are driving to a site in France over 2 days, it'll be a good 10 hour journey all in.

DC are 9 and 7 and not great car travellers, between car sickness, bickering, boredom etc it's not much fun but as an occasional thing we can all muddle through. However if we all go to MILs party we will end up sitting in the car for around 24 hours in 6 days which I think is too much. I'd be ok for us to take the train up and use public transport to get around as needed as the train is easier to manage (though it's quite pricey) but DH is insistent that he wants to drive and if I don't want to I can stay home 'to prepare for the holiday'

So AIBU, would you do all that driving?

Oh please RTFT! Or stay shtum.

It's not about IF she goes; it's about HOW she gets there.

There is a huge difference between a 3 hr trip ( stop off after 1.5 hrs) and a trip of 5- 6hours. It's a long time to sit still for anyone, without regular breaks.

Posters who talk about giving kids meds for sickness don't have a blinking clue. I used to have bad travel sickness as a child (and still can if I sit in the back of a car) and my DCs did too. Meds do not always work. They are also sedating and can cause dry mouth= more drink= more wee stops.

Please don't post something so patronising as ' Give your child Qwells.'

Get off the M1 at Sheffield and head up the M18 and A1. I moved to Milton Keynes 6 months ahead of my DP who was in Gateshead and we used to do the drive all the time. We also did there and back in a day for job interviews etc as we knew we wanted to move closer to family. Mind you, we also do MK to the Swiss Alps in a day. I'd question the half hour stop requirements, you just need to pop for a wee at Weatherby Services.

Of course you go by train. You get the Best View From A Train Ever as you pull into Durham station, so ywbu not to.

Well done with the not rtft comments, OP

OP enjoy the and redspotting

Did anyone mention Clubcard Vouchers? Apologies if I'm repeating, anyway you can use them for Redspotted and a Family Railcard.

The cheapest tickets are released 12 weeks ahead.
Sign up here to get an email alert - you don't need to then buy from trainline if you don't want to, the timing is the same for everyone.

I get where you're coming from.
The French holiday is prepared for but the extra driving for MIL's party just tips you over the edge.
My parents are about the same distance, it takes me between 4.5-6 hours and is all-round grim with the DC. I do it because I've chosen to live miles away and it's too much for them. Podcasts have been a godsend.
If you can get a cheap train ticket then it looks a good solution, flying would be even easier.

Yabu to even consider not going just because of not wanting you kids to travel that far when a few days later you are driving them to France over 2 days.

I'm another that can't figure out how 200miles takes 6 hours? And if the kids are such bad travellers then you wouldn't pick a holiday which involved 10 hours of driving.

But the journey distance quoted by the OP shouldn't take 5.5/6 hours, that's the point.

I can make 160 miles last 4.5 hours if I stop 3 times for half an hour each time.

And if travel sickness in the car is that bad that medication doesn't work, then driving to France is not the type of holiday to book.

Don't buy them from the train line - buy them on the Virgin East Coast website. That way you get to choose your seats on the train. You can sign up for ticket alerts on the Virgin East Coast website as well - midweek tickets can be available long before 12 weeks.

Do Virgin do a ticket alert too? That's good to know. I find the trainline one useful because you don't have to know which train company you need.

Definitely train with Virgin. First Class on the weekend or off peak is really cheap too and comes with free WiFi and food which is very useful. Check for train works though. I'd probably go late Friday night in the hope that the kids fell asleep on the train.

I always buy from the train company's own website as typically you need to be on their site to reserve a specific seat. The National Rail website will tell you which train company you need - may be different in the London area where routes are served by more than one firm, though.

Definitely train with Virgin

Not as if you have a choice is it? You get the train with whoever runs the trains that go where you are going.

I would do it for my MIL but I suppose it depends on how you value your time and your relationships which is entirely your business

OP I understand you, I have a DC that gets car sick even now as an adult. She is up in the North East for uni and we are down in London, the only time we would ever consider driving is when she needs to move large volumes of stuff (such as when she started), otherwise we go by train, it is so easy and I actually find the Virgin East Coast Line service pleasant, especially when I can get first class for only a few £ more than standard class.

I regularly drive 228 miles (just checked!) from my house to my parents. On a good run I can do it in 3 and a half hours. On a bad one, 5. That's with two young kids in the back. You are being a bit of a martyr about the times.
If you don't wan to go , just say no.

For those joining.

The OP has already corrected herself and said it is 273 miles. She has said her estimate includes stops and bad traffic allowance. We will have to accept that she knows how long the journey takes. If I go to see one set of relatives it can take half an hour to get out of my town. Once off the motorway it takes 40 mins through towns and down country roads. The bulk of the journey takes the same time as the start + end. Unless the OP provides us with a google map we will have to trust her but that will also out her

On balance they have decided that driving to France for their main holiday works best for them. There are many reasons why people may drive rather than fly even with kids who get travel sick and get bored. They booked it ages ago so this aspect aint going to change. It's what they decided was best and what they are doing.

Much more recently they found out about the party. They all want to go. They don't want to see photos of MIL putting out her candles with lonely tears.

The issue is that the OP thinks train would be better considering they have a trip to France says later.

BUT

Her partner will only contemplate driving and is the one who made a comment about the OP staying at home if she didn't want to go by car.

Train takes 3 hours - toilet on board, you can walk up and down when you feel stiff or sit and read or watch a movie without feeling ill.

Car we haven't done it in under 4.5 hours and we live near the A1 just north of London. We allow 5 hours.

they have a trip to France DAYS later, not says.

This thread is throwing up loads of potential new Cancel the Cheque howlers from people who can't be arsed to RTFT but just HAVE to post a comment anyway.

My current favourite is:

SIX HOURS?

Can I chuck in a LTB? Someone has to LAB somewhere.

Surely at this stage it needs to just be a conversation between you and your family, not the internet?

Work out what the trains cost and decide with DP and what you're going to do. We can't make him change his mind either way.

I'm baffled at the posters who can do 200 miles in 3 hours! Surely depends on how far you live from the motorway etc?! I live in London and my parents are 200 miles away. We live in a rather awkward part and it takes us at least an hour to even get within a sniff of a motorway, and that is leaving in the evening with less traffic! We have just gone up for the weekend and it took us 5.5 hours on the way up due to road works and detours and one loo break and 4.5 on the way back, less roadworks and one quick swap still. I can't see us ever doing it in less than 4 hours unless there are no other cars on the road and speed limits are suddenly not the law!

Yes either go from hers. Stay in travel lodge etc and extend the fun or go with DVD players etc sorted for kids.

Pack for main hols before party.

I think you would be very mean. It to go to her 70th. She won't be around forever and your dh may resent you

I get dreadful car sickness and am a very anxious passenger so I won't drive anywhere more than about 90 minutes away.

Family railcards are brilliant. You will save the cost of the railcard on that journey alone and then you'll have it for a whole year. The East Coast line is lovely with lots of nice scenery and like others have said, trains are great because you can go to the loo, have a walk, get food etc, on the way. I'd definitely get the train and the kids will love it.