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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am done with you x

230 replies

ChristinaParsons · 17/04/2017 04:09

Well? Both of us nearly 50, marriages of 20, years grown up children.
Both seperated a long time when we met. Got this message tonight
Said WHAT? Called him twice. No answer. My self respect is done
But why?

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 17/04/2017 11:17

Why all the short, cryptic posts, OP. Why not just take a minute to explain your situation?

lawn · 17/04/2017 11:18

When did you last see him?
How had things been going lately?

GloriaGilbert · 17/04/2017 11:18

If that's his attempt at breaking things off after 18 months, then he's a pretty cruel and spineless fellow. You're well shot. Really sorry. Flowers

WinnieFosterTether · 17/04/2017 11:19

If someone sends a text to end a relationship then it's not about you, it's about them. Don't phone or text him. Be grateful you found out he was an arse and try to move on.

ADishBestEatenCold · 17/04/2017 11:25

"Why all the short, cryptic posts, OP. Why not just take a minute to explain your situation?"

^ This

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 17/04/2017 11:26

I would assume from the op's posts that they met 18 months ago and started a Relationship. Prior to that they were both married for 20 years. He ended their relationship abruptly via text and she has no idea why and feels lost.

Time to focus on you op. Block him.

Glossolalia · 17/04/2017 11:30

Agree with fairenuff

If you would benefit from some support, it might be worth taking a moment to explain the situation.

BeeFarseer · 17/04/2017 11:36

From the way you wrote your original post, it sounded like your husband of twenty years had dumped you by text and I was horrified.

So, it's actually your boyfriend of eighteen months that's sent it? That's still harsh but not in the same league as if it were a long-term partner doing it. I'm still unclear as to whether you were having an affair with each other when you met.

I mean this nicely - if you're looking for support, you need to type more than one sentence in your posts because you're confusing people. We can't help if we don't understand the situation.

Gazelda · 17/04/2017 11:36

From what you've said, I can't see any reason why your self respect should be damaged. Don't invest any more time in him. Move on with your life, concentrate on your friends and family.

HowSmug · 17/04/2017 11:39

OP, if you actually want opinions or advice then you need to give more info. If you just want a moan then just say so.

Were you arguing? Were you suprised at the message?

ZaziesPaws · 17/04/2017 11:41

What a twat.

TheSultanofPingu · 17/04/2017 11:41

I agree it sounds shit, but we don't have a lot to go on.

ZaziesPaws · 17/04/2017 11:42

Sounds like OP hasn't a lot to go on either Pingu.

JorahsMissus · 17/04/2017 11:42

Harsh!

floraeasy · 17/04/2017 11:48

Did he text the wrong person? Maybe message wasn't meant for you?

If it was, had you had a row or disagreement?

Still, it's a cowardly way to end a relationship. You're better off out of it. Do something nice for yourself today and put him in your past.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 11:49

What's the significance of you both being married to other people for twenty years? It's completely irrelevant; how long have you been together?

ShiroiKoibito · 17/04/2017 11:49

i thought you had been married to him for 20 years and had grown up children together?

so you dated for 18months and (you think) he has dumped you by text? then you've tried calling and no reply?

i would text back saying
"not sure what you meant by this - if you're saying its over, then thats ok (i'm not happy about it but its ok) if not, then what did you mean"

DontLetMeBeMisunderstood · 17/04/2017 11:52

Do his kids like you? Is it possible that someone else has his phone and it wasn't him that sent the message?

caz323 · 17/04/2017 11:52

It just doesn't make sense. And to put a kiss at the end?? Waiting for further clarification from OP.

caz323 · 17/04/2017 11:56

Was it meant for his wife? The kiss at the end still very odd though.

PollyPerky · 17/04/2017 11:57

Unclear OP if this was an affair or you are both out of previous marriages.
You say he's been separated but can you be sure he really was?
Are you each in the process of divorcing your previous spouses? You say you left your respective marriages for each other.
So it began as an affair?
Did you live together?

peaceout · 17/04/2017 11:57

It's a risky strategy for him, what if you have a vindictive malicious streak?
Being casually dismissed and brushed aside as if you meant nothing is enough to induce a burning desire for vengeance
Doncha think?

SilverdaleGlen · 17/04/2017 11:58

that ended when we met

So you dumped your wife/husbands of 20 years when you met 18 months ago now he's dumped you via text?

If that read is correct then call it Karma...

peaceout · 17/04/2017 11:58

The kiss means no hard feelings eh

outmyhair · 17/04/2017 11:59

Kind of reminds me of a 'mistaken texts' screenshot doing the rounds on fb. Boyfriend texts and says 'it's over', girlfriend hits the roof and texts back 'what!?!?!?' starts ranting and swearing and then hits back with 'ha! and I was feeling guilty for sleeping with your brother last week!'

Boyfriend then writes back with, 'I meant the movie is over. You told me to text when I got out of the cinema...'

Could it be a mistake OP?