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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cancel easter dinner for emotional DD? *senstive subject*

299 replies

WobbleEaster · 16/04/2017 10:32

We were supposed to be having a big easter roast with some friends today. House has been decorated,dinner is all ready for later but DD has had a break down.

Dd was abused by a family friend for a long time before we found out and since then she's been understandably,unstable. This morning she's been very confused,she wants this person to join us for dinner and at the same time she hates him.

Of course I told her that there is no way we will be having him over and that she is safe now and this caused her to kick off. She's cried,hurt herself,told me she hates him but at the same time misses him,there's so much on her mind but she won't talk to me about how she feels.

At the moment she's on a waiting list for counselling but during school holidays,when she has a lot more free time she completely breaks downSad.

Aibu to tell everyone we can't host dinner tonight because of this or is that too extreme?

OP posts:
Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 14:38

FloggingMolly I only warned her to keep her kids away from this man,can't rely on her to be supportive as she wasn't when I was going through difficult times with dd's dad

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 17/04/2017 14:39

How awful. If Camhs know she's self-harming they may bump her up the queue. I would also try for private counselling too as you could be waiting a lot time in nhs if they don't prioritise her.

JustDanceAddict · 17/04/2017 14:42

If she's suicidal (just seen this), she will def be seen as a priority. hope you get to see someone asap.

Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 15:08

I honestly don't think I can keep her safe from herself anymore Sad can't get through to some helplines,going to call 111 again

OP posts:
SparklyUnicornPoo · 17/04/2017 15:10

Sad it's going to take time and she won't get better overnight. I assume you've already locked away any medicines and stuff she can hurt herself with?

Have you got anyone at all to support you? I know there's no one that can offer practical help but i mean do you have any friends you could chat to, even over email/phone? What DD is going through is awful but you must be going through hell right now too and you need to look after yourself to be able to be strong for her Flowers

Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 15:10

Op- I've been through similar although my dd did take overdose. You need to take her to a and e and get external help now. They will take it seriously and she will get help.

Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 15:20

I've locked away everything she can hurt herself with. There is no friends I feel like I could talk to about this irl.

Sorry you've had to go through that hercules

I'm trying to get Dd out her room and to a&e,no longer liking the fact she's got a lock on her door

OP posts:
Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 15:24

Don't leave her alone until you're sure she's safe. If she won't go to a and e then phone camhs tomorrow for advice.

Bottlesoflove · 17/04/2017 15:30

Calling 111 won't help - they will just tell you to take her to a&e again. Call an emergency ambulance. The paramedics turning up may help persuade her that she needs to go. I would explain first why you need to do this.

Not sure how it works in your area, but in my trust overdose/self harm children are admitted to the paeds ward and seen next day by camhs. At least you know she will be kept safe in that time.

Sorry your dd is going through this.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 17/04/2017 15:31

Guess you're stuck with us then Wobble Flowers

DD probably won't be all that grateful or friendly about a trip to A&E but remember you are doing the best thing and you are doing a great job.

Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 15:36

I've explained to her that I'm going to have to call an ambulance if she doesn't come out her room and let me drive her to a&e and she said she's not going. I've called an ambulance Sad

OP posts:
Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 15:38

Oh wobble. It's horrible but you've done the right thing. You had no choice and she will understand that.

Bottlesoflove · 17/04/2017 15:39

I think you've done the right thing. Deliberate self harm is a red flag for suicide risk. If you explain the self-harm, texts to friends and the google history to the paramedics then they will take it from there. 💐

havingabadhairday · 17/04/2017 15:52

Sorry it's got to this, but your doing the right thing. I hope your daughter gets the help she needs.

Footle · 17/04/2017 16:13

The best help my child got in a vaguely similar situation was from the police officer who looked after vulnerable witnesses. She was great.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 17/04/2017 16:15

(hugs) I know you didn't want to have to do that but the paramedics will be able to help. DD will understand and she'll be much higher up the list for help now and most importantly you won't be trying to keep her safe on your own x

Beeziekn33ze · 17/04/2017 16:17

Hoping DD gets the help she needs, soon.

flugella · 17/04/2017 16:17

Hope she's ok, and that you are too.

Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 16:18

The paramedics were lovely,waiting for Dd to be seen but I'm told it could be a couple of hours. Camhs won't be able to see her until tomorrow morning but this will make her a higher priority. She's so neverous,she threw up on the way Sad

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 16:23

What treatment is she waiting for?

Original poster
WobbleEaster · 17/04/2017 16:26

We're waiting for the doctor to see her and explain what is going to happen next. I've been told she's most likely going to be put on the paediatric ward until someone from camhs can asses her tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 16:28

We were seen firstly by paediatrician then by the on call psychiatrist. Stayed over night on children's ward and were seen by camhs the next day with follow up a few days later.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2017 16:28

Do the usually blue light people to hospital to be seen by camhs the next morning?

Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 16:29

Tell your dd to be honest.

Hercules12 · 17/04/2017 16:29

Yes, floggingmolly. Due to suicide risk. Today is a bank holiday so can't see camhs tI'll tomorrow.