This is controversial and I am wary of posting but OP is no Mumsnet newbie and she posted in AIBU so....
There's been something about this thread that just hasn't rung true.
And it's not the facts of the matter - it's the status of the OP as a downtrodden victim.
Is there is another way of looking at this I wonder?
From the get-go and in every post since, OP has deliberately given a lot of information about her husband/lifestyle that no-one could construe as reasonable.
Not even my staunch dyed-in-the-wool 50-something Catholic friend or her 75-year-old Irish Catholic Ma.
At first I thought it was a cry for help but then I just realised it's just reminded me of someone I used to know who was also keen to project a certain image.
In her case was about control, her control over her household and children and ensuring that they could not function without her.
If OP does have three degrees and an PhD she is intelligent (obvs there are different types of intelligence but she's no fool, as she is keen to point out).
She keeps her husband infantilised by enabling - encouraging? - his behaviour - she's happy he's off to the pub while she tends to the child and home.
She says she looks after her husband but enables/encourages regular heavy drinking, long absences and poor dietary choices
Her posts indicate that she doesn't seem to view him as an equal parent or an equal partner in the home.
From her posts her salary does not go towards any of the household/family expenses.
OP has complete control of her household her child and her own finances.