To wake DH up to come to bed.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

DH is asleep watching TV because he was at the pub all day to avoid a children's party. The thing is we are ttc and I sort of need him to come to bed. Am I being mean? Need to DTD before DC1 wakes up again!

[RainbowsAndLemonDrops]

goodeyebrow that phrase has had me in fucking stitches 😂😂😂

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Jeez, I'm out.

Good luck OP, you're gonna need it.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

It does say that. It says he should love his wife as he loves his own body. However I'd rather not be filled with beer and junk food and left to sit in the sofa every night. I'm happy looking after my own body and feeding it nice things!

As for me being "wet as fuck" I think that's being a bit harsh. So because I'm a housewife and mother I'm "wet"? Wow. I actually think I'm respectful and kind because I genuinely put other needs before my own.

[DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse]

What an awful passage to read out at your wedding.

[user1489226029]

Op you do sound like a kind person probably too kind. Remember you matter too and you need to keep something for yourself.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

It was chosen by our priest and read by my sister

[DAMNgina]

OP, just curious, don't feel obliged to answer, who/where are your RL friends? What Church do you belong to - do you and your husband attend regularly?

[MummyBearToTeddy]

My friends are all from when I was little and from work. Some are from baby groups we have been to over the years. They see no problem in my relationship and suggest maybe he doesn't like sex because he sees me as a mother and it's wrong to him. Yes we attend church on a regular basis and it's just the local church where we got married/baptised DC. Why?

[RJnomore1]

It's not about filing you with junk food; it's about giving you the same time space and respect he gives himself. And as I pointed out the bible also says if you're married you're entitled to expect a sex life unless by mutual agreement and that applies to women and men.

It's about him also being a proper Christian man and doing as you do and putting others needs - in particular his wife and children's - before his own. But that's not happening and no it's not ok, because if you really were happy you wouldn't be posting here and trying to justify it, you seem to me to have got pregnant accidentally to a complete buffoon, hats off to you for trying to make it work, now you're thinking time is not on your side to have another baby so might as well stay where you have some chance and you're using selective bible readings and anything else to try to make it all right.

It's ok to say you want things to be different and you want your husband to respect himself and your family. It's okay to expect him to parent your existing child. It doesn't mean he gets no time to himself. It just means you get something out of what should be a partnership as well as him.

💐

[doge]

suggest maybe he doesn't like sex because he sees me as a mother and it's wrong to him.

Op do you not see how wrong this is??

[JessicaEccles]

Where in the bible did Jesus go to the pub every weekend and ignore his kids?!

[HermioneJeanGranger]

" maybe he doesn't like sex because he sees me as a mother and it's wrong to him. "

[DAMNgina]

Just wondering what your RL support networks are like, and if you were isolated but this is obvs not the case.

Hold hand up - totally and completely none of my business which is why I said don't worry about answering, I don't want to put you on the defensive.

Re church I kind of meant what domination etc - Again purely from a curiosity pov.

From the very brief research (Google) - the reading from your wedding, it's one that seems to have been subject to debate in ecclesiastical circles.

However, as I said just curious, or just plain nosey.

I really am not making any judgement on your faith and beliefs or how you live your life.

You do you OP, you do you.

Hope you have a lovely Easter Sunday with the fam.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

We are catholic. I'm also a teacher in the adjoining school so I guess our priest has the final say about readings and we were happy to accept his advice.

I don't actually care if everyone thinks my marriage is awful. It's not and there are people in the world who live in dire situations. Ours is far from that. My son is growing up a million times better than I was brought up. He loves us dearly and is so happy. I grew up trying to second guess every single action because I was never sure how my parents would react and what the consequences would be. Handling my parents was a daily exercise and something that was difficult sometimes. I know where I stand now. I do the childcare and take care of the house, I cook, clean, shop and look after everyone. It's what I grew up doing and I love it.

All I wondered was if it was worth waking him up.

[Imstickingwiththisone]

It sounds like your DS is having a better childhood because of you though and your DH is having almost no input.

[maras2]

I'm also Catholic.I have a husband,children and grandchildren.
I'm no way a surrendered wife though and know no one who is.

[RebelRogue]

You are the chlamydia poster aren't you? I told you then and I'm telling you now.. your relationship is fucked upand all your cheery breezy defensiveness sounds more like you're trying to convince yourself you are happy with your lot in life and it's all by "choice". Do not not have another child with this man.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

I'm not a surrendered wife 😂 I'm a housewife and mother and take that blessing very seriously. I was put on This earth to take care of people and that's what I'm doing.

[OnionKnight]

Your relationship sounds awful OP, I think you're trying to convince yourself that it's not.

[RebelRogue]

Who takes care of you OP? Your wants,your needs,your dreams and mental health?

[EatTheChocolateTeapot]

You sound like a nice caring person OP. Do what you want to do, but also know that you are also entitled to free time/time off if you want to have some.

[giraffesCantReachTheirToes]

What would happen if you were ill?

[JennyHolzersGhost]

Well, thanks for that insight into the 1950s OP. Makes me greatly appreciate the freedom of my life by comparison.

[RJnomore1]

You're not a housewife though. Somewhat worryingly you're a teacher. Housewives don't work. You're left to do it all

Please tell me he didn't give you chlamydia.