To wake DH up to come to bed.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

DH is asleep watching TV because he was at the pub all day to avoid a children's party. The thing is we are ttc and I sort of need him to come to bed. Am I being mean? Need to DTD before DC1 wakes up again!

[doge]

So after you get pregnant you won't ever have sex again? Sounds a bit miserable.

[Kalizahara]

Your son asked to get up with his dad, who blames his son for not bonding with him. Yet the dad was too selfish and lazy?

People can say oh if you're happy, but honestly op, if this is real your life sounds messed up.

[BellyDancer124]

I'm so at this thread. I don't understand why you're so desperate to conceive with this selfish man?!

[DaisyQueen]

He doesn't enjoy doing things like getting the paints out or the train track or running round the park looking for sticks.
I hate doing these things too and soft play but I do it anyway because my children enjoy it. I certainly wouldn't want another child with a man who works all week then has the full weekend doing what he likes too.

[Pepperedpig]

He might not like playing with your Son but that's a part of parenting. I'm sure we'd all like time on our own to do what we want but you have to just suck it up. I would not be having another baby with someone who has so checked out of family life. My Dp also works hard but gets up with Dd in the night and gets up early in the morning and is hands on doing everything that needs doing when he is here.

[DeleteOrDecay]

If this is real I feel sorry for your son who is caught up in all this.

You may be happy, although I really can't see why anyone would be, he's clearly an arse. But your son is losing out because his father clearly doesn't give a shit about him. Doesn't that bother you in the slightest?

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Wow - he spends all day in the pub and can't even be arsed to get up when his son asks him to. Then he complains that his son won't let him do anything for him?

He sounds shit. Lots of parents hate soft play or standing freezing in the park for hours on end. They hate messy play or imaginative play or hearing Peppa Pig for the 50th time that weekend - but they do it anyway because that's what being a parent is all about.

[zen1]

[witsender]

But you work too? You said earlier that you have however many weeks off, implying you work in a school. So you are both wage earners, whatever kind of prestige that gives you. Do you get weekends to go off and do whatever?

[twisterinyogapants]

Maybe your son doesn't want him to do things for him because he's at work all week and out at the weekend.

[BrutusMcDogface]

You need to stop doing everything for your son. He doesn't want his dad to cut his toast?! Ffs. You need to say, "daddy is doing it!" Turn daddy needs to cheerfully fucking do it in the hope of forging a relationship with his child.

Don't have another child with him. You sound completely oppressed.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Christ on a bike! Even my alcoholic dad "and" stepdad ensured they had time for me and my brother by playing with us and taking us out fun places or doing stuff with us.

In stepdad's case his own parents were in Ireland so he only got to see them once or twice a year but my dad went to see his parents and took us etc. in fact I've got a photograph of my dad and his parents and me on the grass during a picnic in Wimbledon common (we lived in Wimbledon).

I suppose one reason for this happening is my mum had a father who spent every evening and weekend at the pub (to escape his wives both at different stages in his life!) and only took my mum there occasionally as it was on a common with a playground behind it. Otherwise my mum was never taken anywhere by her father.

Agree with brutus you do sound completely oppressed. I don't think it's not worth changing the situation but I'd change things before I decided on another DC.

[MummyBearToTeddy]

Ok he doesn't like Other peoples children but he adores his own child. Just because he hates parties (both children's and adults parties) doesn't make him a bad person. He wants more children and wouldn't be helping me ttc if he didn't. He feels bad that DC doesn't like him doing things for him but his son loves him and is more than happy to play with him it's just finding something the both enjoy.

Yes I'm a teacher and work in a school. Right now I do intervention so I have less "homework" and do it after bedtime wherever possible because I like spending time with my son. At least my DH is here for us. I know a lot of kids who have never even met their day! I myself didn't see MY DF from age 12 till I tracked him down years and years later. His new girlfriend gave him the choice between her or me and he picked her. That's a shit dad!

[MummyBearToTeddy]

And I am happy with the situation we are in. I understand it and it works 99% of the time. He's not a natural parent as he grew up in a traditional household where he didn't have to look after siblings and his mum did everything for him. I grew up in a home where neither parent did anything and I had a lot of the childcare responsibilities from very early on. I grew up being a mother and a carer. The entire reason I became a teacher was because my DGM instilled in me that if I must have a job it should fit around my children and luckily I love school so it works perfectly. My DH lets me do anything I want so I'm in no way oppressed and I'm a good wife in return.

[Starlighter]

So many parts of your post are worrying me OP! Is this actually for real??

The latest: he "is more than happy to play with him it's just finding something they both enjoy"

No, you play with your kids doing what THEY enjoy! it's about them, it's about being a parent and not being selfish anymore. Does he ever take him to the playground or soft play or do anything your son likes doing?? Does he ever get up with him in the morning?

I can't believe you want more kids with this man and are practically forcing him to have sex with you (with his beer breath) to do so!

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Stop making excuses for him. A good dad doesn't bugger off to the pub because he "doesn't like soft play" and refuse to get up with his son because 6am is "too early".

Wake up, OP.

[Pepperedpig]

Just because he's there and hasn't buggered off doesn't make him a good Dad.

[ShuttyTown]

What the fuck am I reading. What a miserable existence you have OP

[Naicehamshop]

"He has never hurt us" - you are setting the bar incredibly low here!

Where is the emotional support for you and your child? I don't want to be unkind, but your relationship sounds very unbalanced.

[Marmalade85]

OP does it not bother you that you husband never wants to have sex with you and pretends to sleep on the couch to avoid it?

[RJnomore1]

Jesus fucking Christ

Seriously?

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I'm so glad this isn't MY life.

[DonaldStott]

I feel so sorry for you OP

[AllThatGlistensIs]

What the actual fuck?

No words for this one.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

once your kids are at school, OP, your other half will have to use his holidays up whenever they are on an inset day which doesn't match yours. Or when they're sick. Surely he won't expect you to do that, with your job?